Being Bullied by my Horrible Neighbour

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Noncon4mist
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14 Oct 2021, 6:13 pm

Hi,

I am a 50s woman and have Aspergers. I mostly keep myself to myself. I do have friends, but prefer to visit them rather than have them at my flat, as I've a bit OCD about my stuff. Up until June 2020, I had lived above my neighbour in her 20s for two and a half years, and I always listened to everything on headphones, so as not to disturb the neighbours (9 flats in a block).

But since I did some brief drilling 17th June 2020, my downstairs neighbour has harassed me all day every day. I can't go to the loo in peace. She drums her fingers when I don't pee quick enough(!) She laughs and whoops when I take a dump. And she ands her boyfriend bang on the ceiling all day every day.

The same when I'm in the kitchen. This horrible woman and her boyfriend "follow" me around the flat.

And they go nuts when I type. Everything I do involves typing, as I prefer using a laptop to a mobile phone.

And now she has enlisted a henchman who waits for me outside the building, and walks very slowly up and down. He's there again when I return home. I am certain she is trying to intimidate me to move out.

This is a short video I shot of "Slow Walking Man"!
https://youtu.be/sTMRgnN-8lo

I am collecting evidence for the police, antisocial behaviour team, the noise pollution and the Tenancy Management people. I do not want to be forced to move out.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks



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14 Oct 2021, 6:47 pm

Wish could offer advise.. other than retalitory measures which might inglame the situation, you sound like the gathering evidence thing is the best course of action. Have been in a similiar situation that was unresolvable . And many people suggested that i move but found , i was so established in that location , that moving was not a option .
Must caution you if they get the feeling that their efforts are working to annoy you . It may only encourage them. Be consistent in your gathering information , times and dates will be valuable later.
Is necessary take steps to insure your own physical protection . It may alleviate some of you own anxieties . Being obvious about taking a picture of the man in the front of your building might be helpful. But that could raise your anxiety abit .. Being a Aspie . often will cause a much higher stress response than in a average person. Might talk to your local chemist or doctor about meds that can reduce anxiety. Hope fully as a short term solution .
As a side note your noises you create on a floor that is someone elses ceiling are magnified considerably in volume than someone below , attempting the same noises. A pair of hearing protectors used in target shooting are very effective noise elimination tool. Easy to obtain from Amazon .


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Noncon4mist
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14 Oct 2021, 7:16 pm

Jakki wrote:
Wish could offer advise.. other than retalitory measures which might inglame the situation, you sound like the gathering evidence thing is the best course of action. Have been in a similiar situation that was unresolvable . And many people suggested that i move but found , i was so established in that location , that moving was not a option .
Must caution you if they get the feeling that their efforts are working to annoy you . It may only encourage them. Be consistent in your gathering information , times and dates will be valuable later.
Is necessary take steps to insure your own physical protection . It may alleviate some of you own anxieties . Being obvious about taking a picture of the man in the front of your building might be helpful. But that could raise your anxiety abit .. Being a Aspie . often will cause a much higher stress response than in a average person. Might talk to your local chemist or doctor about meds that can reduce anxiety. Hope fully as a short term solution .
As a side note your noises you create on a floor that is someone elses ceiling are magnified considerably in volume than someone below , attempting the same noises. A pair of hearing protectors used in target shooting are very effective noise elimination tool. Easy to obtain from Amazon .



Thank you Jakki, I might talk to my doctor about it.

I have some ear defenders already thank you, and wear them every time I go to the bathroom.

Yes, Slow Walking Man only appeared once they knew I wore a bodycam, so yes it did encourage them.



auntblabby
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14 Oct 2021, 7:29 pm

my experience with sociopaths is that unless you are able to establish overwhelming dominance over them, they won't stop. moving may be the least energy-intensive route. lotsa sickos out there.



Noncon4mist
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14 Oct 2021, 7:52 pm

auntblabby wrote:
my experience with sociopaths is that unless you are able to establish overwhelming dominance over them, they won't stop. moving may be the least energy-intensive route. lotsa sickos out there.

Thank you auntblabby



auntblabby
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14 Oct 2021, 8:43 pm

you're welcome, i want you to stay safe around those people, they are dangerous and have no compunctions about anything, they have no limits to their behavior.



Caz72
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14 Oct 2021, 10:29 pm

once bullys start they dont always know when to stop and they will continue making your life miserable even if you dont react or dont show your annoyed they still know it must annoy and will keep doing it anyway

the world would be a better place if people didnt bully i can tell ya


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auntblabby
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14 Oct 2021, 10:32 pm

bully=sociopath. both only understand force.



Joe90
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15 Oct 2021, 2:50 am

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Those neighbours of yours must have excellent hearing and no lives.


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Noncon4mist
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15 Oct 2021, 6:13 am

auntblabby wrote:
you're welcome, i want you to stay safe around those people, they are dangerous and have no compunctions about anything, they have no limits to their behavior.


Thank you



Noncon4mist
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15 Oct 2021, 6:14 am

Caz72 wrote:
once bullys start they dont always know when to stop and they will continue making your life miserable even if you dont react or dont show your annoyed they still know it must annoy and will keep doing it anyway

the world would be a better place if people didnt bully i can tell ya


Thank you Caz72 yes, sure would.



Noncon4mist
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15 Oct 2021, 6:15 am

Joe90 wrote:
I'm sorry you're going through this.

Those neighbours of yours must have excellent hearing and no lives.


No they don't. They are obsessed, Thank you Joe90



Noncon4mist
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15 Oct 2021, 10:20 am

Hi

The male PCSO and the woman from the antisocial behaviour team just turned up to the downstairs flat. They stayed for 25 minutes, and my bully did 99% of the talking. No surprise there. I couldn't hear what was said, but from the tone, she was pulling out all the stops to make it sound like they were her best friends.

(she has fake phone calls, which are obvious as they are so loud and happy, whereas all real phone calls are of her whinging and complaining all the time. She also hides the car and sneaks into her flat quietly to pretend she is out. She thinks she is surprising me when when I start typing and she starts banging. But she has no clue I already heard her sneak back in her flat).

I hope they didn't fall for her dishonest act, but as they cancelled their appointment with me to make way for their appointment with her, it's not looking good!

Fingers crossed :?



babybird
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15 Oct 2021, 12:26 pm

How can they hear you typing?

Maybe you should speak to your landlord about soundproofing.


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Noncon4mist
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15 Oct 2021, 12:42 pm

babybird wrote:
How can they hear you typing?

Maybe you should speak to your landlord about soundproofing.


Thanks. I've looked into it. The type needed would involve an additional fake floor / ceiling, costing many tens of thousands of pounds. I've live on the top floor for that very reason, I hate anyone living above me. You do hear impact sound more.

But she thinks I type just to annoy her! I had to get an urgent email out the other day, so I was typing fast, and she shouted her sweary version of "You Drama Queen!" ("You f**king DRAMA TW*T!" to be precise). I recorded the audio. It's quite entertaining.



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15 Oct 2021, 3:21 pm

Am so sorry the PCSO person cancelled your appt. When a criminal type can possibly muddy the
situation between their victim and any kind of legal help you might get they will do it .i have found .
Fabrications , outright lies . their techniques are very long and varied .
You migh call the PCSO dept back several. times until you get a interveiw. If possible go to them ..
Do not engage them at your home . Or meet them somewhere.
Your neighbours will be all ears to your conversations with PCSO people . And use anybody they can get to help them stage their lies." BUT FIRST " very possibly, In a seperate phone call away from your flat , Ask whom the supervisor of the PCSO dept is ? thank them and hang up . Save that name. On another day call back
and ask to speak to that Supervisor .
DO THIS before repeatedly calling the normal PCSO . And explain your situation and how the first PCSO personnel did not even talk to you. Officiers like that just want to get the complaint over with , so they can get on to the next situation. They have no personal stake in the situation... and really just want to get on with their day . But if their Super is involved then they have a stake in the situation . If you feel to be emotional in your description , go ahead , it maybe what they need to feel you are serious.
Most aspies including myself are not very expressive, when it comes to confronting situations.And generally feel explaining the situation should be adequate . But the old adage the squeaky wheel gets the grease is very true. Be prepared to go over the head of the PCSO supervisor. Your efforts need to be sincere . And diligent. The PCSO persons have a job and if you feel the need to make sure they do their job well , then help them out to get their work done. Sorry if i sound stern but have been through similiar situations .Best Wishes in your Endeavours .
Be prepared to use the same tactics your neighbours use on you . Otherwise you may not be effective.
If the man out in front of your building can be associated with your neighbours such as you saw them talking together at some point . And these people are frightening you , then YOU ARE IN FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY , this could be expressed as YOU are in fear for your life . when you talk to the PCSO personnel in private .. away from neighbours ears. Evidence of blood on your door could be another
reason you are fearful . In the form of ketchup . smeared there . Be prepared to show this to these personnel . If you are not willing to go to their level of extremes, You might save up money to be able to move . Sorry.... just seen this stuff before. These methods are out of my character and have had to give up much to learn these lessons .(But these are just wild and crazy ideas . Would never advise people doing this kind of stuff . :(


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