Is this how you feel?

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"People with Asperger's want contact with other people very much; we're just pathetically clueless at it, that's all"

I sure do. There was this girl that I like, and I made her feel awkward. I always make people feel like this. god damnit.

I know I make people feel awkward, it's very frustrating. I also seem to have a way of pissing people at work off, but don't feel I've done anything wrong. It sucks hardcore.

I always wanted to have normal contacts with others but it was mostly, I realize it now, because it was a sort of forbidden fruit - you get it; I wanted to have something I couldn't have. If somehow I got many friends... believe me: I really have no idea what I would do with them then

Well, Im glad that some other people feel like that, because it seems like a lot of people on here are happy to be alone most of the time. I sometimes feel as though I am NT inside (I have a need for company sometimes and I can feel very strongly about people that I have got to know, and feel as though I can empathise with people - although that may be only in my imagination), but on the outside I am Aspie (unable to make and keep friends, socially awkward, unable to express emotions or act in socially normal ways).

Most NTs I know are quite happy to spend weekends on their own, but at the moment I am finding them very difficult - maybe because I spend EVERY weekend on my own and Im getting fed up with having noone I can socialise with. It is true that I do like and need quite a bit of time on my own, to do my routines and to relax, but because it is happening all the time, my current overwhelming desire is to spend time with people (well certain of them).

Also, if I find a new friend, or group of friends, I become almost obsessed with them and want to spend as much time as possible with them and become paranoid about missing out on things. I dont think this happens for NTs and it doesnt seem like an Aspie trait either.

I just want to have a relationship with someone but I feel that I lack the social skills to have one. I want someone that understands me and that I can understand. Someone that I can talk to.

"People with Asperger's want contact with other people very much; we're just pathetically clueless at it, that's all"

Yes and no. Really do crave social time with friends, but don't like most people or the way that they think about things. Usually like individuals once I get to know them, but it is like pulling teeth to get us from that first, alien exchange of greetings and names to a comfortable rapport. One problem is that I get frustrated because most consider others' feelings before saying things, and so never share things that make others uncomfortable. Kills me, can talk about most anything if people weren't so concerned about public/social image.

I sure do. There was this girl that I like, and I made her feel awkward. I always make people feel like this. god damnit.

Story of my life! Women only respond warmly when I play NT and suppress my Aspie traits. Also, problems with authority scare females away, except for the ones who like bad boys, and I'm usually too nerdy for those ladies. Present wife leaving me, mostly over Aspie traits, says she's sick of being my behavioral therapist. Ho hum.

I more like to control the amount of contact I have with people.

As for making people uncomfortable, I think we unconsciously radiate discomfort, which NT people pick up on, and in turn makes them uncomfortable. But that's just a theory...

I seem to go through phases.

When I was really young I didn't have much need for people or they didn't share my interests
Between teens and twenties I had some interest but mostly just wnated to find one person I could connect with and share some time with and maybe have some support if I wanted to go to places where there were groups of people, like to see a band.

By my 30's, I still liked having a bf but shunned all group activities and needed much more time for special interests. In my 40's I have a BF and we both are together yet seperate, doing our own thing 90% of the time. I am adicted to sociallizing on this foorum...so I guess that meets my social needs. Even when I have had friends, I don't usually like just sitting around talking unless I was drinking..made it less boring to me but I prefered having people to DO things with..like biking, going to thrift stores or looking for rocks.

I haven't seen the movie, just a few hilariously bad clips on YouTube, but I thought that was a really good line.

I know I get really lonesome and restless if I'm left alone for too long...I've had a few exes describe me as "needy"

Basically I'm a loner, but need human contact on my own terms or it isn't comfortable. I like and need one to one intimacy with a woman but have no friends as such. When I was younger I used to dislike social events where a certain behaviour was required, social graces and chit chat etc. In my twenties I did like going to the pub with a few people I was at school with, but these evenings often felt a little hollow somehow.

My social skills and social tolerance have improved a lot over the years and I can now go to business meetings and even give presentations to a small group of strangers, but I am relieved when it is over and I can be on my own again. I've found it necessary to wear a white shirt in such meetings because I perspire with nervousness so badly. It isn't obvious with a white shirt but looks dreadful with a coloured one. I was even interviewed live on radio once which was excruciating, but I survived and was pleased I'd done it despite getting a bit tongue tied.

The more you practice the easier it gets. Luckily my stimms are imperceptible to most people and consist of tapping my fingers together or against my leg or any other handy surface. I notice they get more extreme the more stressed I am though.

Yep, that's how I am. My sister made a comment the other day that she noticed I've always wanted friends, but I just never knew how to do it.

That sounds about right!

I used to feel that way. Now I realize that most people aren't worth my time. I generally don't like people.

Yeah, it is true deep down. I've almost given up trying to make friends. My area is sparsely populated, and I have nothing in common with the people who are my age. I'm just hoping University will be a lot better; if I have the chance to meet like-minded people, then who knows, things might begin to take off.

I do need human contact, very much so, but I've developed ways of coping without it. Avoiding social situations is, sadly, something I've got into the habit of. I just hope it's not too late.

I've accepted the fact that most people will not like or understand me, and I won't like or understand most people. That's because I have always been able to find a few people I can relate to, people on my wavelength. As long as I have at least one close friend, I don't feel alone. Lately, I have been branching out some, because I know one person cannot handle all of me, and it sucks when that one person finds other interests or decides to end the relationship. I don't try to hide my aspieness any more. I do try to adhere to the minimum standards of politeness when I meet other people, though (smiling and asking, "How do you do," even when I don't want to). I used to not even do that. It keeps people off my back. They think don't think I'm as stuck-up or rude. With friends, I just try to be as nice as I can. It takes a special effort though. It's hard for me to consider other people's emotional needs, because they are a lot different than my own. It's not an intuitive thing, just something I've learned to do by observation. I think the difference in the way we are wired is what makes it so hard for us to find and keep friends. I expect people to be like me. They expect me to be like them. It's hard to bridge the gap of understanding.

I used to think that way, now instead I'm just dropping people on the way and the more I drop the better I feel, I just can't stand social interaction (I can do it quite well when it's needed, using irony that often makes people laugh), it's mentally and phisically tiring, it feels fake and totally pointless, it's just that simple.