Memories

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Recently I've been digging into my childhood memories and I noticed two things.
First of all, from today's adult perspective, I begin to suspect that my childhood wasn't normal. I always thought it was okay, but I simply had nothing to compare it to, so I just accepted it.
Secondly, those memories trigger strong emotions that are difficult to control.

About the second point I will post more later.

Now about the first one.

Some of my friends shared their childhood memories with me, and I noticed, that they remember people, some random family events, some emotional moments. I realized, that I remember physical objects best (toys for example), down to smallest details. Strongest emotions are also attached to some toys, in fact I start crying as soon as I picture my favorite toys and how they felt in my hands. I remember intense emotional relationships I had with them. But people are just a blur, colorless shapes that towered above me, going about their business. Apart from a few moments where I felt being treated unfairly or lied to, I can't recall any emotional moments. And I don't think that was due to my detached parents - if it was just that, then surely I would remember other adults? But I don't.

That applies until the age of about 7 or 8. After that I have more memories of people, although still without any emotions attached to them.

So I wanted to ask, do you relate to that? Or if not, what are your memories like?

It sounds like deficient autobiographical memory. Could be related to cptsd, traumatic events, or just innate wiring. You're object oriented , more than people oriented, which is typically trait of autism.

I can relate to that very well. My own childhood memories are nearly all sensory. When I look at photos I can remember what my clothes felt like (the texture, the fit, the itchy spots) and I even remember the the scent of my clothes when they were first purchased or when I wore them. Nearly everything I remember is related to the colours (especially coloured lights at Christmas, or the colours of my toys), sounds (the frisson from certain songs or random noises), texture (everything), smell (abnormal olfactory memory!), or taste.

I can also tell you what I was thinking when I learned various things like individual multiplication facts or how to spell individual words. I also remember the weather (how it felt, not the actual weather reports).

I can't picture people and very few of my memories are episodic. They're more like freeze-frame sensory snapshots than videos or narratives. In terms of emotion, I remember how I felt in terms of sensory comfort, and then about ten main stories of events that happened. When I recite those stories it's the same every time -- sensory descriptions, basic facts, and whatever random thing I was thinking at the time (unrelated to the stories).

I remember quite a bit about the personal interactions of my childhood. I was always fairly interested in people. I used to ask the grown-ups a lot of questions, and I played with other kids whenever they were around. I don't think I or anybody else thought there was anything particularly odd about me for a long time.

I can remember my toys but I can also remember people easily too. And I can remember lots of moments I had with people and the emotions I felt. I have a good autobiographical memory.

I have fairly good memory, personal memories are more like photographs, occasionally like videoclips, but its kinda blurry. I could never tell you details (its not photographic recall, i can remember an item i had, but i couldn't tell you the serial number on it, or other minutia) i do store facts about things, like a database of interconnected facts. Hyperlinked almost. That can be stirred up by associations.

My memories are like movie clips too. I get flashes every now and then.

It's weird because when I think of my childhood it like I'm two people. I have really great memories of playing out with my friends and getting into all kinds of trouble and then I have really disturbing memories that I can't even think about from my home life. I do have ptsd as well.

I have a terrible memory. What memories I have are almost never like being there again but rather more like a PowerPoint slide listing a few facts. And I have very restricted access to the memories I do have, my memories seem to be linked...something (a memory or something around me) will link to another memory to another memory, etc., until I am remembering details that I could not have dredged up deliberately.

And this is true even on a short time scale! If my bride goes to the basement it is soon seems as if she has always been there.

I live very, very much in the present.

Oh. What I do a better job of retaining is concepts and understanding how things fit together.

So glad someone has weird memory too. I can remember the layout of buildings very well, like I can remember the floorplan of my preschool very well, but I have hardly any other memories of that time period. I started remembering people after a certain point, usually what I talked to them about, but I don't remember their faces too well.
My therapist wants me to describe certain memories in detail, especially my emotions related to them. I remember that it was bad, but I don't really care. I can only get sad if I'm already in the "sad zone".
If I think deeply about anything, I can always remember the floorplan of that place. Put me in a building that I have any memories of, and I can probably navigate quickly.
Idk what any of this means, maybe I'm supposed to be an architect or something.

Being an architect wouldn’t be too bad

Your comments are quite interesting, please do go on

Yeah, as long as I don't have to do any math. I could sketch out floorplans all day, but math gets me breaking my pencils.

I find it useful to keep good records and also to carry a small notepad and pen.

Except for especially significant stuff I didn't start keeping records until I was 18. In 1973. Before personal computers got into our homes. And I kept the records. A lot of records. Now I hate to lose the records but the footlockers of paper have become inconvenient...so I have started scanning them. And, oddly, I find I enjoy scanning piles of records.

The small notepad is really useful! It serves as short-term memory and also a reminder. I can have a piece of paper on my desk or dresser reminding me of something I have to do or get...and it keeps on nagging me until I do what needs to be done. I started doing that in the late 1970s, also before personal computers. Now my desktop computer nags me, too.

Someday I'll probably get a smartphone and it will undoubtedly nag me, too.

I remember both my toys and the people in my childhood.