How does SPD affect you ability to make friends and to keep

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them?


SPD=sensory processing disorder

I can't stand certain types of music. Yes I know all people have preferences, but they don't suffer from auditory processing disorders that makes them feel absolutely terrible around certain sounds.

I was invited to a concert for a friend's goodbye night out. She was moving abroad, so I wouldn't see her again for a while.

I couldn't go. That singer's voice goes through me.

My sister thought it was bizzare that I couldn't put up with the music for my friend, but I can't do it.

Photophobia:
Don't want to go outside in the sun to visit anyone or do anything
Don't want to go to their house in case they use electric lightbulbs or have white paint
Don't want to go anywhere that's visually overwhelming
Don't want them taking my picture or videos, or posting me online

Smellophobia:
Anxious about their hair products, laundry products, air fresheners, food smells, toothpaste and breath
Perfume would be HUGE on this list -- an absolute no

Misophonia (sounds):
Anxious they'll talk too much, listen to radio or bad music in the car / house, make weird noises (coughing, sneezing, sniffling), they'll chew and slurp loudly, or drag me to cinemas and restaurants where I hear other people's noises.
I don't do phone calls: seldom answer a phone, don't do facetime, and won't even leave voicemail.

Touch:
They might touch me - hugs and kisses, getting in my personal space, wearing fabrics that make me ill. Bedclothes and furniture that I can't touch. Wanting me to go places requiring formalwear or specific types of clothes. Even something like a hair elastic can make me ill.

Taste:
Dealing with their food choices, cooking, etc.

My disorders cause rage and meltdowns in addition to physical discomfort and illness.

That's never a good look.

I have not been able to make friends "in person" with only rare exceptions. I have always been the one in a group to not "get it" and behind in commenting or understanding at all. I joined groups for years hoping to find others based on special interests. It was impossible. I have 25th percentile visual and 35th percentile audio processing so I misunderstand almost everything I see and hear in real time. Of course I struggled all my life in any real time situation, school, work, etc. Let alone socializing. I never knew why it was all so hard until neurological testing with my autism diagnosis gave new understanding. I have difficulty understanding what is going on in 'real time" and what motivates and causes upset in others, I have difficulty thinking of things to say fast enough to keep conversation going because I must first process it all and understand. So, my SPD makes it almost impossible to make friends in traditional ways. I joined FB interest groups a few years ago and spent a lot of time talking in interest pages with others, that has been easier because I understand printed words very well. Eventually some of the people in the interest groups break off to share things using PMs, and from there sometimes small groups form to do interest activities together. I now have about 5 people I can do things with when I feel like it, and some of us have become closer as time has moved on. First time in my life I have ever had a sort of circle of friends and more than one person to sometimes do things with. I am 70. Diagnosis changed everything for me!

I can't handle a lot of talking, and I can only handle going out to do things with people relatively infrequently. People often don't want to be my friend because I can't handle as much as NT people and it limits what I am able to do with them.

I can't hear what people are saying in noisy environments like bars, but my hearing isn't very good anyway so it might be due to that.

I think NTs have SPD when it comes to hearing names, because 9 times out of 10 whenever people mention a name in a sentence usually people say "who?" like they hear every word in the sentence except the name, even if it's name of a familiar person like their own spouse or something. They just don't seem to catch the name.

No severe sensory intolerance issues here.
I had as a child, but it was more of an anxiety thing. That faded away by the time before I became an adult.

I don't have any inherent sensory intolerance. Taste is a psych thing, and cold is both upbringing and physiological than neurological.


Only frequent communication interferences and processing issues.
Primarily on hearing, both physical and neurological -- on top of communication and language issues, executive functioning issue factors...

It's still a wonder why I never had any ear infections while having chronic rhinitis.
It's messing with my ears for years and among others more issues less manageable than autism will be.

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