I now find it really easy to socialise with others

Post Reply New Topic

Another thing that has happened to me recently I now find it really easy to interact with people doesn't matter who the person is I have noticed in discussion groups this week I have contributed alot at my band practice last night I joined in more with the jamming and making jokes about everyone else's playing we joke at each others playing and I was joinning in last night (for the first time). I have been playing in this band for 5 years now I play keyboard and was always described as shy and quiete but not last night.

Next week my mum goes on holiday for a week I use to love my own company but I am not looking forward to all those hours on my own. I'm starting to hate the quiet. I am meeting people in the evenings next week and my work is closed all next week and I have got LONG days on my own until the evening.

What do you think.

This has been going on since I have stopped having meltdowns.

Ya, meltdowns in the presence of others can make u look bad...

I get better the older I get, i notice more from groups, and join in, just today I hung out with a small crowd from work after work, we went to this parking lot thats in a quiet part of the town early in the mouring where we knew we would not be bothered and chilled for a few hrs, it was nice, i fit right in, never hung with work ppl b4 really that long, and outside my usually chillin setting.

Congratulations!
I had to practice for decades before looking into people's eyes was comfortable for me, and now I'm great at it. The brain can make new connections with enough practice, which you just proved.

I have gone through phases where I have been more social than usual...It was sorta like busting through a barrier...but currently I am on the other side of that barrier again...where I can't make small talk and can hardly talk to anyone other than Flakey.

I used to be great at socialising when I was a kid and I was good at it until I was at socondary school which was when I found I had AS and then after that I suddenly started having trouble socialising but if I ignore the fact about AS then all my traits seem to dissappear most of problem are or were circumstantial for example I use to live in a house in the middle of the country in the middle of nowhere not a soul around only three buses a day went pass you had to have a car to go places next door there were holiday homes and if there were other kids there I use to hang around with them. Also my dad when he was alive use to mentally abuse me I think that is the cause of my social problems. Thats why sometimes I don't even think I have AS because of that. But as I am going over what my dad did I seem to be much better.

Well, he IS diagnosed...(according to his profile)..so it can be assumed that a doctor thinks he is.

Also..you can be very social as an aspie...I have known a couple who were extremely outgoing.

I have gone through phases in my life where I was like that...unfortuately, I was really oblivious to what an ass I was constantly making of myself ...(not to say that every Aspie who is social and outgoing makes an ass of themselves....this has just been my personal experience with myself)

Maybe it was better when I was more social...perhaps it put me closer to "normal" when I would yammer on and on and on uninhibitedly and indiscriminantly to whoever would listen...so that people would see me coming and hide out of fear that I would start talking to them...or maybe my own version of a social skill is my habit of keeping my mouth shut most of the time...as I tend to do these days...

And sometimes having knowledge of stuff like this can inadvertantly affect the way you interract with the outside world. My current (ongoing) obsession with AS has inadvertantly affected the way I interract at times. (am currently trying to ween myself off of it)

Very good point

What happened I had some problems when I was a young and I use to and see a child psychologist every three months from the age of 5 up to the age of 10. There was alot of problems at home my dad was ill also before got ill mentally abused me then we moved to the country away from everyone (I don't live there anymore thank goodness) but living there and my dad being the way he was caused alot of behavial problems with me. Now the child phycholigists who were around where I use to live I don't think were professionals because all through my childhood no one not even the phychologist knew what I had and one day a phychologist (who has known me since I was 5) decided just before I started secondary that I had something called Asperger Syndrome which was mentioned to the education council and my parents but not me. That was when I was 11 years old, old enough to understand about Asperger Syndrome. I was thrown into a unit for people with Autism/Asperger Syndrome. I didn't know why I was in there the teacher were sworn to secrecy about and not to tell any of the other students in the unit that they either had Autism/AS. Then one day when I was in year 8 my second year at secondary school I made the teacher/key worker which I had tell me what I've got and why I was in that unit. After then my life changed. I moved away and through standard procedure had to be rediagnosed and they said I didn't have Asperger Syndrome. A couple of years later I had problems at college with people. Most of them with learning difficulties I never distance myself from anyone infact I interacted very well with everyone. I then got frog marched to the doctors by my mum because I use to complain about college and refused to go there was suspicons that there might be something then I spent the next year seeing a phychologist and then being diagnosed to be told I had it because of my result in the IQ test even though most of the question were from lessons I was taken out from or didn't study at school. I am still am convinced that I haven't got it. But everytime I play with the fact that I have it my traits come out but if I forget about it I behave very NT.

I am suspicious there and I think I have every right to be.

Turn in your badge and decoder ring; time to leave Wrong Planet.

I had a sorta rough family life too...and while it was obvious that I had emotional and developmental problems, the closest i came to ever seeing a child psychologist was occasional trips to the school counsellor. I was never told anything and if my parents were, I wouldn't know..they sorta seemed in denial that there was anything wrong with me. The only thing that I picked up on was that it was the opinion of my school principal, my first time around in 4th grade, that I was "emotionally immature"...so I was placed back in the third grade again. At the time, I was in the midst of a nervous breakdown.
I was in normal classes, and did horrilbly and had little to no social skills, but my test scores were really high...(among the highest in the school)...I managed to get shuttled through the school system more upon my test scores than my academic performance, and this went on until I was in high school..(and somewhat evened out socially..but "made ass of self")...By then, I was in gifted classes...but that was a long time ago.

I'm going to stay at Wrong Planet I have unfortunatly missed the last shuttle. Whether I really have AS or not can be debatable for a very long time. I have been diagnosed I'm going to leave it with a question mark.

?

My question mark.

I find it easy to socialize with people who share common interests. If I have nothing in common with a group of people, it is impossible.