Hey, so I have adult diagnosis of ADD, depression, anxious attachment, and possibly autism (I'm 30 now)
I recently found out on a trip that my 14yr old cousin who I don't really see has autism, really bad depression, social anxiety, and is being tested for ADD, and is transitioning to male.
I had a very hard time growing up, and was by myself in many ways. It brought a year to my eye to think of my own 2yr old daughter being like me when someone said ADD can be hereditary. (We've since learned she has autism, so it runs in the family) So learning about my young cousin having several layers of being like me breaks me heart to know, especially as he is having really bad depression.
On the last day of being there, we had a good talk, and I told him I was there if he ever needed to call, and we could play Minecraft together (he really likes Minecraft). His face lit up like a Christmas tree.
I basically had to leave what felt like halfway through an important conversation to catch my flight though, so we never got to know each other very well in person, and can now only communicate over the phone.
I'm afraid I don't know how to be there for someone with anxiety and ADD and autism and depression over text
I know they can be very contradictory problems at times and it worries me that I don't know how best to support this person I worry about.
Like, do I send good thoughts daily, because depression, or do I avoid sending too much stuff, because social anxiety?
They've sent a couple messages asking me to tell them stories, or play Minecraft, but then at the time of doing the thing, they don't respond for a day. They've said they are bad at texting, which I get (ADD correspondence is usually shoddy at best). But I just don't know if when it comes down to something not happening, is it ADD, or anxiety, or some cyclical spiral of both? If I don't hear anything , I think I really worry that there was some anxiety, and that if I send an "in case of ADD reminder" that it is overbearing and activates anxiety?
I'm hoping someone with a similar set of likeness to my cousin can let me know the best way to be there for him, because I kind of worry about him.
I know I might be overanalyzing, but I know my own my can go so many places, that I don't know what is helpful, and what isn't.
10 Jan 2022, 2:34 am
