Christmas and birthdays are terrible

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we have to pretend to be happy even thought we have no reason to be happy

Speak for yourself.

I like Christmases and birthdays.

I think a lot depends on one's immediate family or social environment. Many folk hate Christmas as they have no one to share it with. It is a time of the year that exacerbates loneliness and a feeling of being an outsider. Likewise with birthdays if there's no one to notice it. I'm not much one for celebrating birthdays and getting older!!

But it can also bring some happiness to those who need a special occasion to make a small difference in their lives. The happiness it brings my nephew and nieces when they open their gifts....

That said, not all can enjoy Christmas. A friend of mine was due to fly to his home town today but had to postpone until the New Year as he tested positive for Covid the day before he was to board the plane. Now he has to isolate at home with some books and movies. His mom's about 90 so she would certainly have been at risk had he not gone for a test beforehand.

I don't think there are any adults (and most kids on the spectrum) that actually like Christmas or birthdays. The people who say they do are lying or in severe denial. Or on drugs. Just like the people that say they're happy even thought they have to live in this crapsack world. I almost too depressed to even put up any decorations this year.

I try to make the most out of holidays if I have to participate in them, though my family makes that hard. Something always goes wrong and a huge fight between my parents always ensues. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if holidays just somehow stopped existing one day because we could skip over that BS, but I know other people still like them and like celebrating them, so that's a selfish thought and I don't really hope it happens.

I thought this would be about being born around Christmas. This was hard for my son because he felt he got less presents for his birthday and that he had to give up a Christmas present for his birthday and he had Christmas wrapping paper. He still had a birthday cake. Now we try and give him a real birthday and last year he thought his was the best because he had more presents and birthday wrapping paper. This year he only got 3 because 1 was from me and 1 was from his sister and the other was from his dad but he still went to Build a Bear and got some new shirts. But we go try and get a cake and lot of them were Christmas cakes and he picked the igloo one and I told him "that is a Christmas cake you know" and he said "I know but I like it " so we get him that cake and then we had his birthday the following day. Then he wanted to open a Christmas present and I say again "I thought you wanted a real birthday, the rest of us don't get to open a Christmas present early" and he said "okay." Also none of his bday presents were under the tree and he had no ribbons or gift tags on them. I also have a friend that is born in December so I decided to get him two presents, one for his birthday and the other for Christmas. No birthday/Christmas present in one.

Are you my Mum? This is exactly how she feels. You're not alone. I e never rally probes her on what she doesn't like because it makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn't like discussing her feelings especially when she knows she's the odd one out.

She decided to opt out about 35 years ago and eventually her family accepted it as just the way she is.

She is still generous, she likes to surprise people with presents instead.

I agree a lot of it is commercialised hype and ritual for the sake of ritual. And this year, as last, Christmas looks like it will be a Covid superspreader event. But I don't mind a bit of low-key observance of these things, if it has any depth and originality to it. It's the waste and the unimaginative stuff that annoys me. When I was a kid it was very simple - it just meant I'd get a lot of toys and nice things to eat, and I also enjoyed giving presents too. I like the idea of giving and receiving gifts, though I'd be happier with it if people just did that any old time and thought more carefully about what the recipient wanted, instead of waiting for a particular day and obeying an edict.

If you have met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person.

Birthdays and Christmas are sensory hell for the hypersensitive.
Hyposensitivity is also an autistic trait so I imagine this is the one time of year they get enough stimulation.

Most of the hubbub has little to do with the actual meaning of the holiday. For believers there is nothing wrong with staying home and contemplating the true meaning of the birth of Jesus Christ.

For those who hate Christmas for whatever reason, hang in there in a week and a half the “holiday season” will be all over.

I enjoy Christmas and birthdays. I'd be lost without them. I'm also a very happy person.

I love all things Christmas. (Not a Christian) I spend at least two months every year planning and shopping for presents. I wrap about 50 - 60 presents every year and enjoy doing that. Before Covid I volunteered at the mall wrapping presents for people, who make a donation to the food bank. We used to go to a community turkey dinner every year before 2020 as well. Hard to feel lonely eating turkey dinner with 200 other people.

Giving is the best part of Christmas. Feasts are next. When people just want to make others happy the Christmas magic happens.

We never do big party, though. Just close family members so it's quite manageable.

I've always disliked ritualized gift exchange. In particular, I've always disliked being expected to act grateful for gifts I had absolutely no use for, which struck me as just a waste of the other person's money. Conversely, it seemed to me to be a huge waste of my own time and money to be buying gifts for other people when, in most cases, I really didn't know them well enough to know what they would or wouldn't like.

So, at around age 20, I decided to opt out of "commercialized holiday rituals," as I then called them. I told everyone I knew that I wanted neither to give nor to receive gifts or cards for Christmas or birthdays.

More generally, I decided that I needed my holidays to be a time to relax, not a time to be even more frantic than normal.