Asperger - cannot deal with own emotions

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Hi all,

Everything is in the title. I have been severely depressed for years and in spite being in therapy (with a psychiatrist but inexperienced with autism) for 24 months I still cannot handle my own emotions.

Help. Anyone has had/having the same problem? How do you cope? What's your journey? I don't know anyone like me in my life and feel very isolated.

I cannot identify or deal or digest my own emotions, even though I am very capable of helping others.

I felt a bit like that when I was your age. I used to do a lot of writing to get all of my thoughts and ideas about things out there. I didn't have internet access back then, so it was just all in note pads

I lucked out with my therapist. She helped me identify what I was feeling. I kept a diary each week
to review for our sessions and would have difficulty describing how I felt. She was very intuitive and could talk me through how certain feels felt physically.

I've found a really good YouTube channel you might like. This isn't directed at autism as such, but this therapist is good at breaking big things down into digestible chunks.

i have difficulties with emotions. without alcohol, i am "flat" expressionless, monotone voice, and lonely. i cant socialise properly without alcohol. tried for over a decade. i would rather not drink. .so i am lonely instead

I agree with the advice to write. Journaling is very helpful for me because I have an outlet where I can express without judgment. I find this essential if I feel overwhelmed, because I know few who share my experience.

I agree, journaling or writing a letter to somebody (no intent to actually send it) helped me tremendously, helped me sort feelings and understand why I was upset, distressed, sad, etc.

I would edit and re-edit letters until they said exactly how I was feeling (this might take several tries and many changes to the wording as things became clear for me.). I also learned I did not have healthy communication skills, only those I had learned at home in a sick and dysfunctional household while growing up.

I learned healthy self assertive behavior techniques, how to say no, how to spot when I was being pressured or manipulated, intimidated, how to set boundaries and keep them, and a whole log more.

I could not figure out how to do this by myself, I needed the insights and help of an outsider (my therapist) to help me see where I had learned unhealthy responses to others, and helped me replace that with healthy behavior.

I learned I had choices in almost every interaction with another person.

I had no idea! I had to be taught.

Therapy saved my life and my sanity.

If your depression has been considered "unresponsive" so far, consider learning more and better tools in your toolbox to do life.
My depression has slowly lifted when I recognized I had options and choices and learned how to use them. Sending best wishes.