Secretive to friends, family and new people?

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I'm incredibly secretive to everyone I know in my life. Every time I meet someone new through to close family like my own mother, my convos only skim the surface with what I reveal about myself.

Over the years I've learned to be extremely guarded with what I mention about my personal life and what i do. Any passive hobby, activity or personal preference could be construed as a troubling obsession or something to ridicule. A video game I like? Stupid. Have a pet? Must be up to no good with that animal.

Not only am I reluctant to get into any deep convo but I'm also reluctant to put into practice any desires or interests I have for fear of how others might react. I've wanted to have a motorbike for years but have been told explicitly not to get one by my family. I wanted to go on holiday recently (mainland Europe) but was told not to go once again by family.

When I actually do whatever I like I always lie to family and friends where I go and what I do. I don't even mention my location before going to avoid the probing questions.

Does anyone else get the feeling they come under much greater scrutiny to NT's for being socially awkward?

How do you score on Avoidant Personality Disorder? How do you score on Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

The former tend to be secretive and don't like bringing things up as they fear judgement (it's quite sad and they suffer a lot in secret). If very low in the latter, it can make you fear talking about yourself as you don't want to stand out (which is also sad). I have very low in the latter, and I'm like that, and I try to share things online as therapy (which makes me very uncomfortable, but if I want to improve, so it goes).

I'm secretive of some of that mental illness stuff, but that's probably understandable to most.

I'm secretive.
But never because of awkwardness, shame or any possible ridicule.
It's the opposite in fact -- it's because of the other party's enthusiasm.

I'm secretive because I would rather be left alone. It's been that way ever since I was a child -- a form of control.

I'm not shy about what I did or did not do with my life I just dislike the idea of people knowing me too much i.e. nosy and tell everyone else about it.


And it's mainly because of my environment.
Poor privacy and growing up with little secured space for myself.
I wasn't shamed or accused for having and expressing interests. More like I didn't want to share, but people wanted to share things about me without my say in it.

In fact...
I'm starting to share and express better because of having secured enough space at home -- the kind I always wanted to have yet didn't have any growing up.

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My ASD BFF is highly secretive, as are both her parents (ASD), as was her grandmother (ASD). I'd buy it that they are protecting themselves. I also carefully watched the world for the first decade and a half of my life. Then I exploded with TMI --- vulnerability and openness was my best "protection". How much secretiveness or vulnerability has to do with personality or circumstances, I'm not sure. As always, I believe moderation is ideal but tricky for many ASD folks (like me).

I'm sorry you feel compelled to "hide" your choices. I'm sorry I feel compelled to "expose" my choices. It would be great to be comfortable with our choices and find moderate responses. Ironically the extremely guarded (you) and the extremely open (me) will be subjected to more scrutiny. You want less scrutiny? Find the holy grail of moderation.

I'm pretty secretive due to trauma and constantly having my privacy invaded. I always feel the need to hide and omit really benign things from other people.

I'm secretive with family and new people. I've learned over the years not to rely on my family for emotional support. I've also learned to keep my plans and interests a secret from my family as well. I'm secretive to new people unless I really get to know them. I'm very open with my friends because I know them and they understand me the way that most people are unable to.