Hoping for Acceptance

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Hello All,

I'm 25 years old. My entire life, I've been called weird and cast out from social circles because of being "strange." I have difficulty relating to others, and my teachers always appeared to be put out by my presence.

I was initially diagnosed with ADD, but the small town doctor that gave me that diagnosis wasn't known for his accuracy. I'm recent years, I've been curious if there was something else at work.

I've been reading and studying information on ASD and Asperger's, and the more I learn, the more it resonates with me. Many of my "quirks" I've had all my life are apparently common traits of people with autism. Even my therapist has told me that she has noticed autistic traits, and the tools she's given me to help have done a lot of good.

I truly believe that I have Asperger's or another Autism Spectrum Disorder. My problem is, official diagnosis isn't feasible for me right now. It's too expensive and there aren't many providers who even think about diagnosing adults where I live. It's time consuming, and I don't need or want any kind of help with employment or disability as a result.

All that I want is to be accepted. To be heard and seen as valid.

Is it okay if I consider myself to be part of this community, even without a formal diagnosis? For the first time, I have found people with experiences similar to mine, but I've seen a lot of unkindness towards people in my position. I'm not trying to horn in on anything or appropriate something that doesn't apply to me. I just want to feel like I belong in a group of people similar to myself.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

The only time I feel it's wrong to self-diagnose is if a person is trying to use the cover of "autism" for bad behavior. Pretty much all the people I know who are definitely on the spectrum are not bad people or sociopaths like the media portrays, but there are bad actors who try to use autism as a cover to be #$%holes - which only perpetuates the stereotype.

Honestly, unless you're looking for accommodations in the workplace or at school, as an adult, there's not a need to get an official diagnosis outside of personal validation.

You are welcome in this community. Some people are diagnosed. Others aren't. Some are even NTs.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

What you relate is how many of us felt when coming on this forum for the first time. Welcome to WP. I've decided that, for the moment at least, diagnosis is too costly and has no actual benefit for me beyond what I can learn about myself in the process. After hanging about here for a while I'm quite certain of my self diagnosis and I trust myself more than I trust most doctors!

Welcome to Wrong Planet. I have not received an official diagnosis either. Many years ago it was suggested to me that I might have Aspergers by a friend. At the time, I was not convinced. Now, we are at the start of having my young son evaluated. At this time, I'm certain I have Aspergers. If my son is diagnosed, I think that would serve as enough confirmation for myself. This forum is a good place to explore and find people who can understand what you are going through.

Heck yeah, Welcome home! I spent 15 years trying to understand my family dysfunction, and nobody was even mentioning the possibility of something genetic. Then I ran across a list of aspie traits, and it all became clear. Unless I'm stressed, I can easily pass for NT, but counsellors have no trouble about seeing the same pattern, glad to have a place to start on trying to help.

You're welcome and accepted here, any time.

Welcome! Your experience is exactly like mine. Reading your OP makes my eyes teary as I can understand exactly what you've been through.

Getting diagnosis can help. I get help from an official Autism Association of my region. I also utilized my diagnosis when I made formal complaints to my employer about harassment. My employer was forced to take my complaints seriously as I have a formal diagnosis of autism.

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. I've considered myself autistic for a while now, but I didn't know if the rest of the community would accept me as such without being diagnosed.

Your WP profile offers the following diagnosis choices:
- Have Aspergers - Diagnosed
- Have Aspergers - Undiagnosed
- Not sure if I have it or not
- Family member with Aspergers
- Other autism spectrum disorder
- Neurotypical

Looks to me like a formal diagnosis is not required.

And you're not even required to suspect you are Autistic.

If you're interested in the topic WP is a good place for you. Welcome!

And if you ever seek a diagnosis I wish you success...whether you turn out to be Autistic, or not.