Co-incidences?

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I have had many times in my life, especially in the last ten years of people coming up to me and asking or telling me that I was on the spectrum, and before I discovered what autism was, I was getting a bit annoyed about it as I honestly thought that someone was playing a prank on me and was sending these people to me! Once when a stranger said this at a gathering I was attending, I ran out of the building to check that there sas no one hiding around the corner laughing away as I thought it was all a big prank!

But moving on, and while I have not been assessed yet (Waiting), I have done quite a bit of research and asked a lot of questions, and done a whole lot of thinking from two perspectives.. The first is the perspective to look for autism traits in me, and the second was to look for allistic (NT) type traits in me so I would get a more balanced perspective... Though this has confused me because I have gone from thinking I was an NT (Never heard of the term before I came on this site) to discovering I had a lot of traits and not just the one I knew about which lead me to join this site to ask about something else... To finding so many traits that I thought I was on the spectrum, to then thinking I am not but at the same time being confused as to what NT traits are as the traits I knew were autistic traits and I reached the point where I am asking "Well, what is an NT then? What traits do they have?" So I ended up confused! (So when I am assessed it could go either way and I honestly need to know where I fit).
But (Sorry for the long post) what recently has happened is with my brothers children. I know one has very noticable traits (Also know my Mum and definately her Mum and my Dad (Though different from Mum and I) had definate traits and he had meltdowns which we assumed were just temper tantrums but looking back at the triggers they were meltdowns as it was when there was an unexpected change or there was something he could not cope...

But anyway, my brothers children have also had the same as me in that people have come up to my other brother and his wife who had taken them to church to tell them that they were autistic. The recent event was with the least likely child of my brothers that I did not see so many traits with that she was on the spectrum and this person said they were the parent of six autistic children and they said they recognized a definate trait. (My brother has eight children and he does not believe any are on the spectrum but I recognize traits in him as well).

Can all of us be on the spectrum? Is it possible? I am wondering what is going on here as it all seems so strange!

The even stranger thing is that my brothers ex girlfriends child was assessed and she has AHCD (4 letters and not sure if the right ones. Attention deficite something dissorder?) after a six year wait to be assessed and diagnosed where she could not read or write (Despite being very intelligent in some ways) as school was not allowed to help her until she was assessed so she finally had help just before she got to secondary school, and her traits were different to the other children, three of whom share the same mother (My brother was not the father of this child).

This all seems surreal.

Question.

1. Is it common for autism to go down family lines to such a degree that all could be on the spectrum?
2. Is it common for those on the spectrum (Even if they do not know they are) to date and marry or live with as if married a partner that is also on the spectrum?

Supposing that I am and supposing that others in my family and my brothers (And even my other brother) is on the spectrum, is this rare? Or am I assuming things because I am "Looking" for traits and when some random parent or person suggests one could be on the spectrum or that another relitive or family member is on the spectrum, that it is just a random thing and that this probably happens to anyone and everyone?

The really strange thing is that unknown to me at the time, is my cousins eldest boy who is from the family line of my Dad so the other family side from my Mums family (Who are definately are or were for my Grandmother, on the spectrum if I am) is also waiting to be assessed for autism which is weird! (Haha. I know he has traits but differe t traits to my family, as he is sociable but really struggles in quite a few other areas.

Anyway. This has me puzzled and wondering if all this fits in and is possible and what is possible and what is not and I don't know what to think.

The long wait to be assessed means that is likely that even if I am assessed, that it will take a decade to assess us all if all were put forwards to be assessed.

I am wondering though that even if most of us were on the spectrum, that the odd one would be NT? Or maybe we are all NT except for the odd one?

Haha. I can't get my head around this!

Autism is thought to be largely genetic, or epigenic. you're born with it. And because its largely in your genes you probably inherited it, and yes, it tends to run in families.

Autism is not like lightening -that just randomly hits hither and yon.

It is NOT surprising that more than one member of your family is on the spectrum. On the contrary its to be expected. Not a 'coincident' like lightening striking the same person years apart (if thats what you think).

As far as spouses: folks tend to be attracted to others who are likeminded so its not completely surprising that AS folks would marry other ASD folks. But thats a more complex subject. ASD folks are a small minority so it is a bit odd to just happen to meet other ASD folks to marry.

Thanks. It makes sense.

Yup.. yup … NPmakes sense to me from reading,, disclaimer : sometimes not all Aspies are good people,imho