Paralanguage

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Howdy and Merry Xmas!
I read or hear a lot about how we people with ASD are bad at or struggle with paralanguage.

Do you have concrete examples of when people with ASD would struggle with it and when actually being good at it? If so, please give examples.

I was once told by a person that I have a very good voice for reading poetry. I guess, he meant that I recited the peoetry in a very personal way.
Normal social situations are not the same in most cases. We need another paralanguage for those situations, I guess.

I often find that people with ASD can have a very lovely and personal paralanguage. Different from what is "normal".

Never heard the term "paralanguage" before.

I had to look up paralanguage too. Spot on though, I do have a very difficult time with reading intent and figuring out context, and any subtle body language, intonations or intimations. My visual processing is 25th percentile and my audio processing is 35th percentile so almost anything I see or hear is at least partially lost. Thank goodness my ability to understand written words and write them is mostly unimpaired. I bet each and every one of us is different , regarding these abilities, autism traits are so often ascribed to all of us but the way we experience any input will vary wildly! the spectrum is a wide one!

Was told I invent words that I did not know were not words. Is that the same thing?

If I understand correctly, paralanguage refers to all the nuances "behind the words" a person is speaking. Paralanguage may not really apply to writing. It also factors in not only what is said, but whom is saying it. If an adult says "I'm taking my car to the shop," the listener takes it as a fact. If a child says the same thing, the listener automatically knows the child is role playing.

I think that in addition to Aspies not picking up on these nuances as well as NTs do, there's also the other factor: NTs may misread our paralanguage and assume we're implying something we're not because our tone, vocal pitch, etc. doesn't match their expectations. How many times have people thought you were lying/joking/being sarcastic/being critical when, in your mind, you were simply stating a fact or an observation? Based upon the words used, nothing should have indicated otherwise. Paralanguage refers to the nuances of expression.

^ Well, it's interesting. Written language is less nuanced and more straight-forward (though I guess there can be some paralanguage with punctuation, use of an exclamation point, use of ALL CAPS, etc.). I can't site it now, but I read once a study where NTs were asked to assess the writings of Aspies, as well as spoken dialogue of Aspies. The NTs didn't have a problem with any of the Aspies' written communication, but things broke down upon hearing them speak the words. Also, with writing, a person can go back and edit before sending/publishing a written communication. Spoken word is immediate.

Aspies can have a very good vocabulary and literal use of language. Might not necessarily apply to paralanguage, which goes "beyond the words" into spoken nuance. In fact, using "big words" at a younger age may alienate an Aspie from their peers who don't normally use such language.

It's possible there is an "Aspie paralanguage," or an Aspie has enough wherewithal to tell that the person they are speaking with isn't using paralanguage in the same manner as NTs. The Aspie himself might not recognize his own misuse of paralanguage, but can realize it in another Aspie.

I would also say people, mainly NT, may use different paralanguage with different people. How they talk with a boss may be different than with a friend, may be different than with a parent.

Has anyone ever felt the need to go on and on and be redundant to make sure the NT party is "getting it," as there seems to be a lot of 'in one ear, out the other' with NTs? Repetition can annoy them, but I see many failing to understand after I convey something only once.