Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Have YOU been accused of microaggressions??

Page 6 of 10 [ 152 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

21 Jan 2023, 4:09 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
I mean, how is it possible that my female friends not only don't mind, but they also use the term "whore" a lot, while this two girls find it offensive. They are all women, but they have different attitudes towards the word. Doesn't sound like a universal offence towards that group (women). If not all women are offended, is it still a microaggression?


Isn't that normal though? You'll encounter people within marginalized groups who aren't bothered by slurs, but you'll encounter others who are.

I'd say if the act itself isn't, the assumption that it will be acceptable certainly is. It's easier to step on toes if you don't know the person, so it's wise to be careful until you've developed rapport.


I have used “attention seeker” countless times here to describe a common accusation used against autistic people. I have never used “attention whore”. That has nothing to do with the word “whore”. “Attention whore” is a more recent expression and I am old. I have often used the newer phrase “inspiration porn”. Abuse of women is common in the porn industry and plenty of feminists have objected and sex workers are a marginalized group. Be it “inspiration porn” or “weather porn” for proliferation of storm chasing video shows, there is no outcry of offense.

It is a big world with a lot of different types of people. I am positive there are a few people out there triggered by “attention whore” and “inspiration porn”. Should we call them microagressions and stop using those expressions?


I wouldn't stop using those expressions entirely, but I'd be prepared for the moment someone responds with offence.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

21 Jan 2023, 4:13 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
I mean, how is it possible that my female friends not only don't mind, but they also use the term "whore" a lot, while this two girls find it offensive. They are all women, but they have different attitudes towards the word. Doesn't sound like a universal offence towards that group (women). If not all women are offended, is it still a microaggression?


Isn't that normal though? You'll encounter people within marginalized groups who aren't bothered by slurs, but you'll encounter others who are.

I'd say if the act itself isn't, the assumption that it will be acceptable certainly is. It's easier to step on toes if you don't know the person, so it's wise to be careful until you've developed rapport.


Didn't people do that since always though? Do we really need the term "microagression" at all?


Yes, people have always done that. Should we not have a word to describe such a thing? Did we have a previous word that microaggression replaced?

I don't see why the term microaggression shouldn't exist, if it describes something we can agree has existed for a long time. How else would we refer to the concept?


I think that there is an umbrella word for that and it's called politeness.


But politeness describes an absence of rude behaviour, including microaggressions.

Impoliteness comes close, but isn't specific enough. There isn't another word that means the same as the term microaggression, at best you'll find partial synonyms and words that describe related but not identical concepts (like your example of politeness), etc.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Recidivist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,851
Location: He/him/his

21 Jan 2023, 4:23 pm

Judging by the number of altercations I had in my teens and early 20s that happened without a reason (no reason I could fathom anyway), I would guess I have unconscious microaggressions. :?:


_________________
Another man's freedom fighter, one man's terrorist is - Yoda (probably)


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,663
Location: Chez Quis

21 Jan 2023, 4:32 pm

I get accused of having "tone" sometimes even when it's just my sense of droll humour or my inflection.

A pharmacist once berated me in front of a group of customers for turning around when she was talking about my vagina out loud.

Don't ask lol


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Dengashinobi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 598

21 Jan 2023, 6:22 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

But politeness describes an absence of rude behaviour, including microaggressions.

Impoliteness comes close, but isn't specific enough. There isn't another word that means the same as the term microaggression, at best you'll find partial synonyms and words that describe related but not identical concepts (like your example of politeness), etc.


It's not exactly the same but it is politically neutral and it is more encompassing. Suppose I use the word "whore" and somebody says to me that it's impolite or insensitive, I will immediately retract and apologise. If some one says to me that I'm using a microaggression and that I have to immediately apologise and then go Google about why this offends the group, or some with in the group that the person belongs, I will get annoyed. Actually I will get angry because someone is trying to impose their ideology on me.



Dengashinobi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 598

21 Jan 2023, 6:25 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
I would call it insensitivity.

Why?

Because it is being insensitive to the other person.


Sorry ASPartOfMe, now I got it. There was a glitch in my logic there. :oops:
Better late than never.



ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,480
Location: Long Island, New York

21 Jan 2023, 11:18 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
I would call it insensitivity.

Why?

Because it is being insensitive to the other person.


Sorry ASPartOfMe, now I got it. There was a glitch in my logic there. :oops:
Better late than never.

Always better late than ever and I have more than a few glitches in my logic. :D


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

It is Autism Acceptance Month

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

22 Jan 2023, 12:52 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I get accused of having "tone" sometimes even when it's just my sense of droll humour or my inflection.


I get that too. When I'm just stating the obvious/ answering a question/ giving information. I'm not using a tone. :roll:


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

22 Jan 2023, 1:40 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

But politeness describes an absence of rude behaviour, including microaggressions.

Impoliteness comes close, but isn't specific enough. There isn't another word that means the same as the term microaggression, at best you'll find partial synonyms and words that describe related but not identical concepts (like your example of politeness), etc.


It's not exactly the same but it is politically neutral and it is more encompassing. Suppose I use the word "whore" and somebody says to me that it's impolite or insensitive, I will immediately retract and apologise. If some one says to me that I'm using a microaggression and that I have to immediately apologise and then go Google about why this offends the group, or some with in the group that the person belongs, I will get annoyed. Actually I will get angry because someone is trying to impose their ideology on me.


That sounds like you're triggered by the word microaggression and have an irrational response. *shrug*


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Dengashinobi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 598

22 Jan 2023, 1:53 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

But politeness describes an absence of rude behaviour, including microaggressions.

Impoliteness comes close, but isn't specific enough. There isn't another word that means the same as the term microaggression, at best you'll find partial synonyms and words that describe related but not identical concepts (like your example of politeness), etc.


It's not exactly the same but it is politically neutral and it is more encompassing. Suppose I use the word "whore" and somebody says to me that it's impolite or insensitive, I will immediately retract and apologise. If some one says to me that I'm using a microaggression and that I have to immediately apologise and then go Google about why this offends the group, or some with in the group that the person belongs, I will get annoyed. Actually I will get angry because someone is trying to impose their ideology on me.


That sounds like you're triggered by the word microaggression and have an irrational response. *shrug*


Irrational in which way?



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

22 Jan 2023, 2:35 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

But politeness describes an absence of rude behaviour, including microaggressions.

Impoliteness comes close, but isn't specific enough. There isn't another word that means the same as the term microaggression, at best you'll find partial synonyms and words that describe related but not identical concepts (like your example of politeness), etc.


It's not exactly the same but it is politically neutral and it is more encompassing. Suppose I use the word "whore" and somebody says to me that it's impolite or insensitive, I will immediately retract and apologise. If some one says to me that I'm using a microaggression and that I have to immediately apologise and then go Google about why this offends the group, or some with in the group that the person belongs, I will get annoyed. Actually I will get angry because someone is trying to impose their ideology on me.


That sounds like you're triggered by the word microaggression and have an irrational response. *shrug*


Irrational in which way?


Getting angry and assuming someone's vocabulary choice is an attempt to impose their ideology on you sure seems irrational.

Wouldn't a rational response be to either question what they mean by the term, or just continue the discussion even if you don't particularly like their nomenclature for that concept?

How would getting angry over someone's word choice be a rational act, especially when the word isn't insulting or rude or hostile to you, it's just a word you don't like because you've decided it must be ideological. For most people familiar with that word, it's the best way to refer to that concept.

Getting angry won't make the word lose meaning or make fewer people use it, it'll just harm how you're perceived by anyone who witnesses it.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Dengashinobi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 598

22 Jan 2023, 4:07 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

But politeness describes an absence of rude behaviour, including microaggressions.

Impoliteness comes close, but isn't specific enough. There isn't another word that means the same as the term microaggression, at best you'll find partial synonyms and words that describe related but not identical concepts (like your example of politeness), etc.


It's not exactly the same but it is politically neutral and it is more encompassing. Suppose I use the word "whore" and somebody says to me that it's impolite or insensitive, I will immediately retract and apologise. If some one says to me that I'm using a microaggression and that I have to immediately apologise and then go Google about why this offends the group, or some with in the group that the person belongs, I will get annoyed. Actually I will get angry because someone is trying to impose their ideology on me.


That sounds like you're triggered by the word microaggression and have an irrational response. *shrug*


Irrational in which way?


Getting angry and assuming someone's vocabulary choice is an attempt to impose their ideology on you sure seems irrational.

Wouldn't a rational response be to either question what they mean by the term, or just continue the discussion even if you don't particularly like their nomenclature for that concept?

How would getting angry over someone's word choice be a rational act, especially when the word isn't insulting or rude or hostile to you, it's just a word you don't like because you've decided it must be ideological. For most people familiar with that word, it's the best way to refer to that concept.

Getting angry won't make the word lose meaning or make fewer people use it, it'll just harm how you're perceived by anyone who witnesses it.


I was trying to make the point that this is a political term that partains to a specific ideology that I find foreign to me. Forcing me to use it's ideologically specific vocabulary as a matter of fact, makes me accept that ideology involuntarily. I just don't believe that people should be judged allong group lines and that our behaviour should be adjusted accordingly. I prefer to be simply polite intuitively and judge people as the person they are as an individual.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

22 Jan 2023, 4:10 pm

Not in real life.


_________________
Female


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,074
Location: England

22 Jan 2023, 4:54 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Not in real life.


That's interesting, I get misunderstood all the time in real life. Rarely online because I'm better at explaining in writing than in speaking.

I guess you must have a pleasant face and people like you :) I seem to have a snooty or angry face when I'm not snooty or angry, usually I'm indifferent or thinking.


_________________
That alien woman. On Earth to observe and wonder about homo sapiens.


FleaOfTheChill
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 309
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,941
Location: I'm stuck in the dryer

22 Jan 2023, 5:11 pm

I have not been accused of microagressions. I have been called blunt, tactless, harsh, stuff like that. But microagressions? Nah.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

22 Jan 2023, 6:04 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
I was trying to make the point that this is a political term that partains to a specific ideology that I find foreign to me. Forcing me to use it's ideologically specific vocabulary as a matter of fact, makes me accept that ideology involuntarily. I just don't believe that people should be judged allong group lines and that our behaviour should be adjusted accordingly. I prefer to be simply polite intuitively and judge people as the person they are as an individual.


I fail to see how using a jargon term forces you to accept an ideology. Care to explain further?


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う