Yeah, I can see that. The woman to whom you're referring did have a rather androgynous appearance about her. For me, "Napoleon Dynamite" weirdly felt like the late 1980s/early 1990s for me in a lot of ways; her clothing and hair style in the movie weren't overly uncommon for girls in elementary school and junior/middle high school around that era in the U.S. I gathered that Deb (the character's name) was a bit of a late bloomer, so the more feminine features (such as in her face) hadn't yet developed fully.
For what it's worth, homosexual and heterosexual facial muscles do relax differently. Gay men's facial muscles relax like those of a straight woman's, and the same for a gay woman's face relaxing like that of a straight man's. Society has become more accepting of people who do not identify strictly as heterosexual and male or female, which I suspect allows people to become more accepting of themselves. I know that if I'm comfortable in a scenario or situation, I'm more inclined to be myself.
In the last 15 years or so, I've certainly encountered a lot more people who presented themselves differently than in the 30 years previous: I've seen men with with typically feminine haircuts, and pre-transition women (i.e., still in the wrong body) who I couldn't distinguish until I was interacting with them directly.
