How do you talk to your therapist?

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After always having had terrible experiences with therapists, including less than two weeks ago, I will now be seeing a new therapist starting this week. I'm not sure what I can try to do differently to not have a bad experience once again. I think the main trouble has always been misunderstandings, which I think are due to the therapist making assumptions and not really listening, but at the same time I think I must be bad at explaining myself.

Do you prepare what you are going to say to try to explain to the therapist what is going on with you? Do you write it down? Bring the actual written thing? Or do you wing it? Do you wait for the therapist to ask questions?

And how do you let a therapist know they are on the wrong track when they say something incorrect about you? I usually try to stop them in their tracks just by saying "No," but I have found that that comes off as me seeming to be inflexible rather than me trying to make myself understood by being very direct.

May you never need a therapist, or MH individual. After over ten years of therapy.
It was a stopgap at best, during my worst of times. a poorone at that.. Might preserverate on Nootropics .
Have had good luck with those. Am thinking most Psyche pros are NT.psyche pros, , and often cannot help but have a poor personal reference for dealing with Aspies IMHO
best of Luck either way.

When you say therapist, do you mean psychologist or psychiatrist?

I'll assume psychologist.

I'd be honest and tell them you aren't sure the best way to navigate which will meet their style and yours. If you get a chance to explain a bit of what you just wrote here, it would be a good starting point.

When I start with someone new I usually let them talk or ask me questions for most of the first session. They usually say a bit about their background and their expertise. They ask about my diagnoses and history with other therapists. I don't get into specifics of personal issues but I might say something like "I have ASD2 and ADHD. I've had two strokes. I'm here for therapy because of Complex Trauma which is from longterm SA and exploitation. I've had a hard time in therapy because I'm neurodivergent and CBT doesn't work for me. It feels like gaslighting. I also have Alexithymia which means I have a really hard time putting my feelings into words that therapists understand. I tend to infodump because I can't be succinct with feelings and it takes me a very long time to process what I'm feeling or what the therapist tells me. I prefer really direct instruction and homework rather than "feel good" nonsense or visualisation activities. I can't visualise anything because I have Aphantasia. I have a lot to unpack starting in childhood but it's usually better if we go through major themes like: ______ ______ _______ _______ (mine are generally self-advocacy, communication, trust, trauma triggers, avoidance, etc.)"

They usually ask what's the most important thing I want to address or where I want to start. I always say guilt and shame from trauma.

When I've gone to psychiatrists it's always on referral so they already know why I'm there, but they usually start by doing a formal mental health evaluation to see if anything's changed or where my needs are in their estimation.

I'm starting equine therapy next week.
Hopefully I'll get some good communication going with the horses.
I haven't had a lot of success with communicating with human therapists so this is a last ditch effort; after this I give up.

Good luck.

Thank you for illustrating my point that I can't be succinct with emotions.
What you said is exactly what I was thinking.
I had one really great therapist but he went senile and retired.
I quit all my CBT people.
That's all that's allowed here now, so I give up too.
Equine therapy was great for me as well.

Must of had a bad run of MH people in the many many years of therapy,Noone the entire time ever suggested any type of functional therapy . Such as equine, and often wondered why ? ....as time has oassed have started scrutinizing my therapist to see if it is a matter of even speaking the same language .. Or so it seemed to me .

Rarely.