autisticelders wrote:
sometimes I ask people to explain again using different words and I will say something like "I have sensory processing difficulties sometimes" They might cut me a bit of slack in intense conversations and try again.
I have told people I am autistic sometimes and I get condescended to and pats on the head (metaphorical) from some individuals but after 68 years of constantly being bullied in workplaces and groups, this is almost refreshing, since it comes from attempts to be kind instead of a place of hostility. I find I mind being talked down to or treated condescendingly far less than those who would taunt me, set me up deliberately, mock me, etc.
Ironically, I feel the opposite! I was taught from a young age that if someone is making fun of me, I can make fun of myself even harder and they'll be powerless. Not in the depressing, self-deprecating kind of way, but if someone called me weird, I'd be like "yeah I guess so" and "weird it up" harder around them. If you're better at picking apart your differences than people who want to mock them, then you will always have the upper hand.
But when I'm being patronized, there is no way to overcome that. I cannot infantalize myself because then that just proves their point.
I was recently thinking about how in middle school, I was never thrown the ball in gym class because I was a horrible athlete. Then all of a sudden one day, the ball kept being thrown to me whether or not I would actually catch it and my teammates would cheer for me regardless. It only took a few minutes of feeling good about being included before it hit me: "The gym teacher pulled them aside and told them to do this."
That felt way worse than being mocked for being the klutz. At least when I was the klutz, I could make a bit out of it.
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Take it easy, dude, but take it!