Might have PDA also

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For some context, I was diagnosed with autism when I was 3 years old. I remember when I was a kid I would react to the extremes when it came to demands. Especially when my mom nagged me, and still does, I would do the opposite of what she would do to avoid that demand. I would put off a lot of things such as my homework. I put off my homework in middle school because I didn't feel like it. I guess it felt stressful, but at the same time, I had a pretty GPA. When things didn't go my way, I would act out, not precisely a meltdown, but I would cry. And when I cried, I'd be upset for the rest of the day. When I had a fight with my friends in 8th grade, my reaction was so extreme and I was sad to the point I felt suicidal. Sometimes, I would cry over a certain demand, such as doing the dishes for example. My reactions were childish, and still, I react negatively to criticism. I tend to go to extremes when someone says something to me straight to my face. I sometimes come off as obsessive about what I believe is right, even if people give me contradictory evidence. I still make excuses to avoid doing something I don't want to do, and that includes lying to some extent. It's not precisely manipulative. My reactions to things are a little less extreme now, compared to when I was younger. Could this be PDA? I'm not trying to self-diagnose but it could be a possibility.

If executive dysfunction and PDA are the same, I think a lot of us have it.

I had to look this up, since it's the third usage of the acronym PDA that I've seen. Good old acronym overload.

Any demand can trigger avoidance, depending on how it's presented.

As you may already know, a PDA diagnosis does not yet seem to be a “thing” in the USA, though it was described in the UK as early as 1980, from what I’ve read.
A PDA sub-type for Autism may be included in the next diagnostic manual in the UK (and maybe elsewhere?)

I highly recommend that you check out some of the very good videos on YouTube specifically about PDA, almost all, seemingly, made by adults who have been diagnosed with PDA or are self-diagnosed:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=pathological+demand+avoidance

Although I found deep resonance in all of the symptoms described for PDA, the most striking one was that PDA will also prevent someone so afflicted from even completing tasks that are purely in the realm of joyful. When a "PDAer" is doing well, they can get some things done, under limited circumstances, but even favorite hobbies and recreational activities will all too often seem daunting or even impossible.

Another dire consequence of having a PDA brain is that when encountering a demand that leads to a meltdown (often a VERY fast-acting meltdown that comes like a bolt of lightning out of a clear blue sky!), the PDAer will lash out at someone who has made the demand, or is even perceived to have made the demand, and will use detailed knowledge about the weaknesses of that person to manipulate them away from pursuing the demand. This manipulation can, under the worst circumstances, lead to saying and doing things that are entirely out of your control until the meltdown ends, and the consequences are already irrevocable (ask me how I know!)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathological_demand_avoidance

For me, although my late diagnosis with ASD (at age 53) explained a lot for me, it took me some time to determine just how I fit into that broad spectrum that was all I knew of at first.
I have zero doubt that I am autistic, but when I was presented with the notion that I am PDA, by a person to whom I have done irrevocable psychological damage, close to a year after my ASD Level 1 diagnosis, I looked into it, and it immediately brought me to my knees, metaphorically speaking.

This, THIS was the story of my life, to such a great degree of profundity that one may condense my entire half-century+ of life experience down into the short list of PDA symptoms.

I REALLY hope you end up not being eligible for a PDA diagnosis, as in the wider autism spectrum, the imbalance between perceived abilities and actual abilities may manifest in the most egregious way in a PDAer.
Few who have not experienced life in a PDA brain will believe that you "have it as bad" as you describe, and you will be acused of the worst sort of malingering...
And consequences of PDA may be ameliorated to only a very limited extent, perhaps, even with every effort to do so.
I hope to know more about to what extent a calmer, less pressured life can help with PDA, if I survive the next few years (or months)...

Darron