Why NTs might find autistic people annoying

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I just had a revelation. I've seen my online autistic friends who are struggling with something and I've replied with something sympathetic/empathetic/supportive.

e.g. 'Oh good luck, I hope you get enough money for your needs.'

'Oh a rainy day is miserable isn't it. I had one of those days yesterday. I'm glad you've got enough money for food etc. though.'

Only for the autistic friend to pick my comment apart because I've used the wrong word or slightly misunderstood.

I feel like I am on the side of the NT people in these cases. I was just being nice and supportive, autistic friends. Please just appreciate that. I have problems too, I'm tired or fed up or hungry or sad etc. Just because I happened to use the wrong word and wasn't 100% accurate, I was still being supportive.

I think the autistic habit of trying to get a precise meaning out of sentences can be annoying sometimes.

I've been trying not to do that lately but trying to understand that someone making a nice comment is just being nice. They aren't asking for an examination of what the words actually meant and how they were slightly inaccurate and didn't precisely apply to my personal situation.

What do you think?

The ability to focus attention is often at the expense of peripheral attention. This focus can make slight (insignificant) details stand out while simultaneously make one less perceptive to the annoyance sharing such observations may cause.

Hopefully, as the years pass, one learns to be less spontaneously sharing observations and more aware of causing offense.

You should ask my NT wife, I've been irritating the hell out her for 30 years. And I have the bruises to prove it.

I've certainly annoyed people with my tedious attention to detail. It's probably put off a lot of people who weren't much into precise thinking. I think having a science job most of my life helped me to stick to people who weren't so averse to data. I like to think that I've improved over the years, and that I don't often annoy anybody these days. I've also had some kind of sympathy with people who have to put up with the kind of things I (used to) do. Listening to too much detail tires me out and I lose focus. There can't be a 2-way conversation if either party starts data-dumping.

Is it possible to teach an AI to translate autistic into NT and also the other way around?

I know what you mean, KitLily.

I think some autistic folk are a little too pedantic also, but that is natural & to be expected, so I don't hold it against people.

Every discussion with my autistic teenage son shows me how annoying I was when I was younger. It's impossible for him to have a conversation without deviating into a monologue of no interest to anyone but himself. I didn't learn to avoid that till I was in my 20s, and I still have the tendency.

I've always been annoyed with people trying to comfort me with some kind of reassurance that others have been through similar things. I know it's meant well, but it never makes me feel better.

I have heard that our quirkiness is one of the things that gets on their nerves.