What to make of son, exH, and BF with AS reaction?

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I recently joined my local fire department as a probationary member of the EMS team. (After 18 months and formal EMT training/experience, I will be an EMT.) The reaction of my (14 yo)son, exH and BF with AS puzzle me.

My son: Mom, do you want to be a hero, or something? (sarcastic)
ExH: Doesn't quite get it and something along the lines of my son's reaction.
BF: I can see it as something you'd want to experience and you'll do it for a little while and then stop. (As in, I'm doing it for the personal gain of the experience.)

My overriding reason for joining is to help those in my community, and to have a sense of family with the rest of the members of the department.

Can anyone speak to the AS perspective of these reactions? I have to say that my son's reaction hurt. (He is typically a well-mannered teen.) Thank you.

Well, a GOOD fire department WOULD make it arduous! They are trying to be nice. Frankly, unless this was done from home, and you were REALLY physical, I might say the same.

Of course, they DID have to lower requirements for women, and some ARE laxed.

Steve

Hmmmm.

This is volunteer, in a suburban area. It seems it's not so much the 'arduous' nature of the job, but the fact that I would even desire to do it. (I think!....)

Thank you for your response, Steve. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective. I'll have to think on that one and see if it fits.

I don't think I follow what I just read. I don't understand what they said was wrong.

As I see it...

Your son sounds like he's just mimicking the reaction of your ExH...don't read too much into it right now.

ExH....well he's the Ex for a reason...no mystery probably there.

BF...he's worried it will be too much for you.

Now for me: Congratulations!! ! I for one am impressed, I think it's wonderful!!

Well Steve, I don't consider myself to be a radical feminist...and if I were on the receiving end of emergency medical services, I certainly would want to have the best person for the job. And, just to be clear, I am learning EMS only and not fire fighting. I do know my personal limitations.

Now this is getting somewhat off topic, but I'll engage... I just started this endeavor with two men who are way shorter than my 5'8"! Brains are the key factor in becoming an EMT. On a practical level, no EMT is sent out to a scene unassisted. We work as a team. If I cannot lift a patient, there will be someone nearby to help, be it another EMT or an officer. (Technology has also provided us with the tools to do our job without so much brute strength, as was needed in the past.....stair-chairs, etc.) If I arrive to a scene alone, my presence will certainly be better than having no one there to provide intermediary care.

Another issue is that paid EMS workers are on the low end of the pay scale. It is difficult, if not impossible for a man to provide for his family doing this kind of work. As such, it is difficult to get good 'men' (specifically). Women are filling in the gaps. Many communities, including my own, have volunteer EMS/Firefighters. We do not turn people away unless they cannot pass the state testing, and the in-house proficiency clearance.

Back to my son with AS, a similar thing happened when my daughter saved a bird and got positive attention from the rest of the family. He was visibly annoyed. However, he does not enjoy being the center of attention of any kind, even if it's about an exemplary report card. Perhaps he just doesn't know how to react to the attention? (He will not even wear shirts with writing on them.)

Those reactions seem to come out of surprise. Like you're not the type of person who would strike them as wanting to volunteer or be an EMS person. They don't strike me as particularly "AS reactions". I wonder why you see that?
I don't think it's typical for any 14 year old to be "proud" of his mother, especially an Aspie. I don't think it's healthy to rely on children to provide emotional support.

Well, I guess I'm misunderstanding something then. Those are reactions to being told that you'll be a volunteer EMS, yet they already knew? If they already knew, then why are they commenting on it as if they don't know? Are they bringing this up, unsolicited? Are you asking them more than once, how they feel about it?

I won't read into the NT responses, but I do note that NTs tend to say innane, supportive stuff to appear agreeable. Back home in California, the phrase (to anything and everything) was, "Right on!" Drove me nuts.

[quote="KimJ"]Well, I guess I'm misunderstanding something then. Those are reactions to being told that you'll be a volunteer EMS, yet they already knew? If they already knew, then why are they commenting on it as if they don't know? Are they bringing this up, unsolicited? Are you asking them more than once, how they feel about it? [quote]

It was days later that my son made his comment. It was when my other children and I were discussing the required training. He piped up with, "Mom do you want to be a hero, or something?"

"Right on?" YECH!! !

It doesn't sound sarcastic to me and if it was meant that way, it sounds really mild. Kids are always being asked to (or told to) stuff their feelings and fantasies about being superheroes. He may have been reflecting on something like that.
I just don't think it's a good idea to take his comments personally.

"Changing things was a major inconvenience and source of stress for me "

Yep this pretty much sounds like my son! He hasn't said much since, but we have a BBQ at the firehouse coming up. Maybe once he sees everyone and the building, some of his questions will be put to rest. Or, perhaps it will stimulate more conversation. Thank you.