Personal Issues and my WP involvement

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ASPartOfMe
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30 Aug 2023, 3:59 pm

I have been for the most part living in the same residence for 62 years. My parents did well in raising an undiagnosed autistic. The roles were reversed especially with my mom who had a very rough death last year. I did a lot and saw a lot of things I never wanted to see. 

Now it is time to move out. It is too much in a number of ways for me to stay. We have found a person that wants to buy this residence and he wants it within 30 days either way of October 30th.  Anybody who has had to empty out a loved one's residence knows that it involved more stuff then you ever imagined (in my case 6 decades' worth of stuff), what to throw out, what to keep, and where they should go. Of course, it is not just stuff, it is family history. This has been emotionally tough for me and my siblings. 

In addition for me, there is finding a new place, coordinating the move with leaving the old place, furnishing it, getting utilities, trying to remember every place I need to inform of the new address and maybe phone number, and changing them.

In addition, there is a health issue of unknown seriousness. Both of my parents made it to their late 80s  but had impairing congestive heart failure. I am asymptomatic but thought the prudent thing to do was see a cardiologist.  He looked at a previous scan and saw calcium. I need a couple of more tests and will go from there. A sonogram on Thursday, and a stress test on September 14th(chemical not the treadmill due to previous tongue replacement surgery). Not only does this involve the usual worries, but also if it is something serious it will f**k up the move. 

Everybody who is autistic has some traits that are more “severe” than others. My traits that are most impacted are change, multitasking, and planning in other words those things involved in these situations.

Bottom line somethings things have got to go. My involvement on Wrong Planet will affected. I can not tell you exactly how. I will see what feels right at the time. There might be times I am not here at all, and at other times I may be decently active.   What will go is my posting news and autism news stories. It has been really great to find a role that has been very useful for members, that informs and sparks debate.  For autism, I just Google autism once a day and click news within the last 24 hours, for Aspergers same deal once a week.  That is the easy part. What is time-consuming and more difficult for me is figuring what what is trivia, Is there an existing thread on this topic, is there another post about this story or this study?  Then the usual choosing title and what from the article to leave in or out while leaving the remainder coherent.

I will be replying to your replies to this OP and probably for the next few days and also my most recent threads especially the 10th anniversary diagnosis thread.   I will use this thread to inform you as much as I can about what is going on with me.  If there big news story especially about autism I will try and post or reply about it.

My hope is that once I am settled in the new place hopefully sometime in November I will come back full time. Stay tuned.


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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 30 Aug 2023, 4:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

uncommondenominator
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30 Aug 2023, 4:02 pm

Best of luck to ya. Stay well.



ASPartOfMe
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30 Aug 2023, 4:07 pm

uncommondenominator wrote:
Best of luck to ya. Stay well.

Same to you.


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“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


MaxE
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30 Aug 2023, 5:14 pm

You have my support.


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blitzkrieg
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30 Aug 2023, 6:02 pm

Good luck with your move and your health, OP. :thumleft:



IsabellaLinton
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30 Aug 2023, 6:06 pm

Image



Here's a song to keep you on your toes.

You've got this, APOM.

Everything will be OK and we'll be here waiting.





https://youtu.be/fJ9rUzIMcZQ?feature=shared


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GadgetGuru
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30 Aug 2023, 8:25 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Now it is time to move out.

As someone who has been in what may seem like the opposite side of this equation, I nonetheless may have a little advice.

When I still lived in the Northeast US, I moved I don't know how many times, almost all of them with my family, a couple times with an ex, and once on my own when I was away in school. I also assisted others in moving many times, sometimes under extremely stressful conditions. Since I moved out West in 2009, I've lived in (I think?) 7 homes, all with my latest ex.

Having had to get used to the idea of impermanence in living situation, I decided that I was "OK with it", never really noticing just how much stress it always caused me until my recent post-diagnosis reconsideration of my whole damn life. I am both jealous of the long-term stability you've enjoyed, and fearful of what this change, under this set of drastic circumstances will put you through.

The deadline involved will seem daunting, and it SHOULD. There's little to no way to avoid this, short of delaying a closing, which is problematic, to say the least. Enlist as much help as you can, paid-for, if possible within your financial means. Help for both the "stuff" and the manifold other tasks of physically moving one's life.
I know from countless experiences of compressing the physical detritus of a life, or that of a family member, or family of a loved one, that this process is slow, painful and mind-numbingly stressful. Sorting what gets tossed/sold/donated from what goes into storage, to a new home, etc. can bring one right to a meltdown, when that ticking clock is ever-heard.
If the volume of "stuff" is not prohibitive, would it be out of the question to "simply" have it all hauled to "temporary" storage, until a less stressful schedule may allow more considered sorting?

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
--Douglas Adams

I never used to consider myself at all sentimental about physical objects, but have gradually realized that I do, in fact have deep attachments to some things as I age. But when I've "lost" something, and later wished I could have it back, that feeling often passes quickly. The most notable exceptions will be, of course, irreplaceably unique mementos like family photos, writings, etc.
Assuming you have not yet started to dismantle the old living situation, perhaps try to notice what catches your eye, sparks memories, comes to hand, inspires thought. If it's been in a drawer or closet for 30 years, is it likely to be missed, or will it just be a brief reminder of a time long gone, when unearthed to be sorted into its category of destiny?

Here's hoping that you soon find yourself settled into a new place, one that will contain both the most treasured objects of your life and the prospect for creating new treasured memories, as well.

Darron



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30 Aug 2023, 11:41 pm

We'll all be looking forward to when you're back to full time here.


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Winters Gate
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30 Aug 2023, 11:51 pm

i wish you the best of luck and look forward to seeing you back here again.



FleaOfTheChill
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31 Aug 2023, 5:22 am

Woah. I can say you have a lot going on, but that feels like an understatement. I hope you can find ways to take care of you during all of this. I wish you well and look forward to seeing you again soon.



KitLily
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31 Aug 2023, 8:07 am

Good luck, friend!

I have a big house move next year, I empathise with your situation :star:


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cyberdad
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31 Aug 2023, 8:34 am

Good luck AS
Keep checking back as you are part of the old guard on WP
Now all we got left is Fnord 8O



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31 Aug 2023, 1:13 pm

I hope you return before too long and tell us you are surprised at how smoothly it went.


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ASPartOfMe
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01 Sep 2023, 6:53 pm

Thank you for all the support. It is very much appreciated.


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“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


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01 Sep 2023, 7:54 pm

I've appreciated the information you've provided, but now is the time to take care of you. I wish you all the best.



CarlM
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01 Sep 2023, 10:08 pm

Best of luck in your move. I'll try to fill in with the news reposting.


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