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playgroundlover22695
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24 Nov 2023, 10:26 pm

I don't understand why this is, but secretly I'm happy that Thanksgiving is over. It's not the social pressure of being around people because the only guest we had this year was my neighbor who has anxiety and depression. I used to love Thanksgiving a lot as a child and even as an adult up to a few years ago, but ever since I had some hurtful things happen to me, the holidays just haven't been the same. Now they just feel stressful and sad.

This Thanksgiving, I shopped for a lot of food. One of the times I was in a store, I accidentally ran into an older lady with my car. When apologized immediately, she responded "Jesus F*cking Christ!" This made me really stressed out and I just wanted to get out of that store.

Also the cooking was very stressful for me and I love to cook. When I woke up yesterday, I didn't even want to get out of bed, let alone cook. Wednesday was the same with my errands I had to do. When I yelled at my dad yesterday for interrupting me, he got upset with me and told me to change my attitude. I never apologized for my attitude because I was hurting inside and very stressed.

Now for the meal. The meal was nice, but when we were all going around saying our Thanksgiving grace and what we're thankful for, my turn was almost skipped until I piped up. Then my parents were talking to my neighbor about a famous lawyer in my state who we know personally because his wife was my mother's cousin who passed away. As they were talking, I felt sad. I wanted to excuse myself to my room to cry for just a few minutes. Luckily the subject was changed and I was able to stop the tears in their tracks. Dinner was a success, but we still had a ton to clean up afterwards. I was exhausted!

Long story short, my holiday feels like it started today really. I've had a mild headache for the past few evenings and nights on and off, mostly in my jaw going up to my left temple. It started Tuesday night and went away after I got a good night's sleep, but came back Wednesday afternoon after going out in the rain to run errands. Again it was gone yesterday morning, but came back as soon as the dinner was over. I don't get headaches very often at all. Maybe a few a year at most and these have been very mild. Just general tension in my temple and every 5 minutes or so, my temple would start to go boom for a few seconds at a time. Last night, I finally decided to take a low dose of some generic tylenol before I went to sleep. Then I laid down and massaged my head until I fell asleep.

Today I didn't wake up until 9am and I stayed in my bed until 9:30. When I got up, I felt so much more relaxed and I ate some cake and some turkey for breakfast. Then I went to the store to get some food and fresh air. Right now, my headache is a lot better, but it gone completely. I honestly think my headaches are due to all the emotional stress I've been experiencing lately. However, the fact the actual holiday is over is nice because now I have 2 more days to actually rest. I know this is very strange, but can anyone else relate to what I'm feeling? :(



bee33
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25 Nov 2023, 12:31 am

I don't think it's strange to feel relieved after a stressful and demanding day. Not only did you have to interact with people, which can be fraught, but you had to do a lot of work, which is exhausting.

I spent Thanksgiving completely alone because I have no one to spend it with. That wasn't great either.



playgroundlover22695
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25 Nov 2023, 10:52 am

bee33 wrote:
I don't think it's strange to feel relieved after a stressful and demanding day. Not only did you have to interact with people, which can be fraught, but you had to do a lot of work, which is exhausting.

I spent Thanksgiving completely alone because I have no one to spend it with. That wasn't great either.

I'm so sorry to hear that you were alone on Thanksgiving. That's not good. I don't mind interacting with people usually. It's just that I felt like I had so much to do and everyone around me seemed to want more and more. I love my family and the people around me a lot, but the holidays make me sad when I sit around the table and think about how many people have left my life that I love. It's hard to think about being thankful for everything I do have (house, food, parents still alive, neighbor being with us, etc) when I'm sad about my friend not inviting me to her wedding, my mom's cousin who died almost 2 years ago, my dog who died last year, and the kid I was very close to that I mentored who moved to Coventry. To be deeply honest, I did something stupid in January to end my life, but God saved me without any serious repercussions. I told my friend that I am truly Thankful that God saved me back in January, but I honestly don't know if that's true. I'm not saying I want to die right now or anytime soon. I'm simply saying that I'm not 100% thankful that I didn't die that night. Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling on here. Sorry again that you had to face the holiday alone. :( :heart:



QuantumChemist
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25 Nov 2023, 8:04 pm

I was alone this Thanksgiving, as I could not travel due to my job duties. I felt bad that I could not be there to help my elderly mother in Kansas. It was a depressing day for me. Thanksgiving has not really been the same since my father died nearly two decades ago.



playgroundlover22695
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25 Nov 2023, 8:41 pm

QuantumChemist wrote:
I was alone this Thanksgiving, as I could not travel due to my job duties. I felt bad that I could not be there to help my elderly mother in Kansas. It was a depressing day for me. Thanksgiving has not really been the same since my father died nearly two decades ago.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I should be thankful to have the opportunity to continue spending the holidays with my parents. I hope you at least got to talk to your mom and wish her a Happy Thanksgiving along with the rest of your family.



QuantumChemist
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26 Nov 2023, 2:14 pm

playgroundlover22695 wrote:
QuantumChemist wrote:
I was alone this Thanksgiving, as I could not travel due to my job duties. I felt bad that I could not be there to help my elderly mother in Kansas. It was a depressing day for me. Thanksgiving has not really been the same since my father died nearly two decades ago.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I should be thankful to have the opportunity to continue spending the holidays with my parents. I hope you at least got to talk to your mom and wish her a Happy Thanksgiving along with the rest of your family.


Thank you for the reply. Yes, I did get to talk to her. However, it is just not the same as actually being there. Treasure your time that you have with your parents.