Is it common for some aspies to not like their condition ?

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catpiecakebutter
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29 Oct 2023, 12:26 am

I don't like my condition at all and wish I could be at least fit in better and have more friends and a paid job.



carlos55
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29 Oct 2023, 5:47 am

Yes, its why suicide is high, but most don't bother mentioning the obvious, or use the demand for acceptance and change as a distraction.

I suppose the best thing to do for now is concentrate on things you like doing and interests to fill your time


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29 Oct 2023, 6:14 am

I think as well, that suicides may be higher in the undiagnosed because they can be suffering without even knowing what is wrong with them.

(Corrected spelling).


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Last edited by Mountain Goat on 29 Oct 2023, 7:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

CockneyRebel
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29 Oct 2023, 7:16 am

I hated my condition when I was 15 going on 16. My dad told me that there were a lot of things that other people can do that I will never be able to do and part of it is because I have a learning disability. I felt suicidal because I felt that I didn't have much of a future. I'm much happier now and I've been able to accept my condition since I was was 25.


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Mountain Goat
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29 Oct 2023, 7:27 am

I can imagine being diagnosed earlier in life can cause problems because other children are really cruel at that age. I was never assessed and have not been assessed yet, though have not got long to wait. Because I was seen as different, I was picked on. My defence was to put on a continual act so I could pretend to be like everyone else which wasn't easy and extremely tiring to do!


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blitzkrieg
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29 Oct 2023, 7:49 am

Yes. And by "aspies" I am going to assume you mean people with autism in general, too.

A lot of autistic folk hate their condition and the way their lives are, and I think this is reflected in the high rates of depression and anxiety that autistic people experience versus the average NT population.



King Kat 1
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17 Dec 2023, 8:54 am

This is a tough one. I sort of see the whole " Aspie pride" or whatever you want to call it, as sort of making lemonade out of lemons. At the same time, people on The Spectrum have a lot to offer but in a NT world, many don't care or want to see what a person with ASD has to bring to the table.

I'm still currently undiagnosed but for me it's like this, I don't hate myself but there are many things I don't like about my ASD.

I hate how it makes me come off awkward and socially inept.

Having my intelligence insulted despite being fairly educated and being on a college level in most school subjects, save for math.

The Anxiety and anal retentiveness-being very inflexible about things, constant worrying, needing a ridged routine. Then being called selfish, self-centered, and having my feelings totally dismissed.

The extreme shyness even now in my 40s, mostly in the workplace.

Being told my interests are weird, stupid, pointless, and " no one wants to hear about them, STFU". However, if someone yammers on and on about sports, then that's ok. So, I've learned to just keep my interests to myself or only talk about them online in specific places.


So yeah, it's easy to see why suicide is high with people who are on the spectrum. Sorry for the rant


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Edna3362
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17 Dec 2023, 8:59 am

In common cases, nobody likes executive dysfunction for any reason and circumstances, along with it's consequences. Especially unmanageable kinds.


And then there's the cluelessness of one's self and everyone else's misinterpretations and mismatches -- many that will lead to all kinds of mismanagement.
THAT itself is already very frustrating, and potentially very traumatizing.


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Jonfon
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21 Dec 2023, 3:38 am

I think most of us are unhappy. There are users on this forum who might dispute this, but you only have to look at the statistics. We have one of the highest, if not the highest suicide rates out of any group in the world. Tony Atwood, a leading authority on Autism, estimates that up to 25% of substance addiction is caused by bullying of people on the spectrum.



autisticelders
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21 Dec 2023, 4:41 pm

life sure would be easier without it. we have to work much harder to do the things many folks do as second nature and with no effort. I would opt out if that was possible. I struggled most of my lifetime before I finally got diagnosis at age 68 and still sorting all the ways it hurt my life and my relationship with others without understanding "why".


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ProfessorJohn
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21 Dec 2023, 9:27 pm

Yes, I really don't see any positives with Aspergers



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22 Dec 2023, 12:04 am

I wasn't diagnosed till age 64. I like that now I know WHY I was always weird and never fit in. I learned to fake normality by being very brutal to myself, and toughing through my difficulties. But I always knew I wasn't like everyone else.


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22 Dec 2023, 4:11 am

I have never thought of "myself" and "my condition" at seperate things. I identify with myself "warts and all". Of course I always want to improve, learn new things, grow as a person and become mentally stronger and more confident. But I am not sure where "my condition" ends and my personality starts. I think it's unrealistic to think of myself as some perfect flawless bulletproof superman but for this condition.


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22 Dec 2023, 8:52 pm

I hate it, honestly.
And because I agree that there is no way to separate myself and the autism, sometimes I end up hating myself.
Even though I know it is not healthy to hate yourself, I find it very hard to love myself autism and all, you know. The best I can do is try to give myself a bit of a break, tell myself I'm doing my best and everyone has their faults.
But yeah, it's not an easy condition to live with, neurotypicals have no idea.



MjrMajorMajor
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22 Dec 2023, 9:00 pm

autisticelders wrote:
life sure would be easier without it. we have to work much harder to do the things many folks do as second nature and with no effort. I would opt out if that was possible. I struggled most of my lifetime before I finally got diagnosis at age 68 and still sorting all the ways it hurt my life and my relationship with others without understanding "why".


I feel this. I don't like or dislike my autism but I recognize it's effects on my life and perspective.



Mallaich
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28 Dec 2023, 9:54 am

I think it makes life harder to come to terms with than if you were NT. I am older and have been through some traumatic experiences that could be attributed to my Asperger's behaviour/communication such as being abused by a teacher and being stabbed as a teenager.
I have felt unable to connect to people since I have been a child and found myself emulating behaviour to the point I could get a job as a spy (satire).
That said, I consider myself a deep thinker and often, as a result of my different way of thinking, I can solve problems in ways others might never consider.
Ultimately I feel isolated and my biggest fear is I will feel this way until my death, but I have embraced a stoic philosophy and am learning to be happy with what I have.
The biggest thing it has given me is the ability to care less about the opinions of others. Still on a journey, but hope to come to terms with my condition (if you can call it that) and find happiness or at least peace with it.