Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,040
Location: California,USA

16 Feb 2024, 6:17 pm

If someone cleans for you, can Autism people get freak out if cleaning people touch alot of your stuff?



utterly absurd
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2024
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Posts: 456
Location: Wisconsin

17 Feb 2024, 12:04 am

I freak out when anyone touches my stuff.
When I lived with my parents they had cleaners come, and I just closed the door to my room when they came.
I don't know what I'd say to someone now since there's not really a reason, it just bothers me.
Also they have to touch some stuff in order to clean and they might think they're helping even if it's not always necessary.


_________________
Diagnosed ASD/ADHD age 5. Finally understood that age 17.
Have very strong opinions so sorry if I offend anyone--I still respect your opinion.
Feel free to PM me--I like to talk about most things other than sports.


Iris.Ell
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 10 Feb 2024
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Switzerland

17 Feb 2024, 3:36 am

Yes!

I can totally relate.. I hate it when people go through my stuff, and also when I myself lose something-not to mention the mobile phone-, I might have a serious meltdown.

When my mum washes (and usually destroys) my clothes, I used to have bad meltdowns.

Same, a male friend of mine with ASD hates it when people touch his stuff.
#
But-if someone does it out of ignorance, just to move something, in a dinner table for example, without asking me, I will be polite and not react.


_________________
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone"
Blaise Pascal, Pensées (Thoughts)


ezbzbfcg2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,936
Location: New Jersey, USA

17 Feb 2024, 3:48 am

It's like hoarders who say they want help, but they get all upset when a stained, crushed Styrofoam cup buried under old newspapers that they forgot they even had is placed in the garbage.

Maybe not that extreme. But still...



autisticelders
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,061
Location: Alpena MI

17 Feb 2024, 6:24 am

I don't know if it has to do with autism since others can be very concerned about stuff like that.... "don't mess with my stuff" is maybe more of an animal instinct, like a dog guards a bone or like birds protect the territories that they establish (we build fences and are territorial too).
I think it is a natural tendency, especially if people have broken or stolen or lost your stuff for you in the past.


_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/

"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson


Eyeselation
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 4 Jan 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 213
Location: Wisconsin

17 Feb 2024, 5:34 pm

Important to supply your own cleaning materials. Everything from mop to brushes to cleansers, disposable gloves, including your own vacuum.
Never allow them to use what they bring with them and use in other’s homes. Tools are not sanitized between cleanings as some can do more than one house per day.
If not then get the earliest/first appointment of the day if using a cleaning service.
And if you can be home while they work yet stay out of the way, so much the better.

Ever since Covid I don’t hear people snickering anymore about this. Although I know that’s not how it spreads.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,661

20 Feb 2024, 9:59 pm

My stuff tends to be arranged in a certain precise way, and it's often hard for anybody else to appreciate that changing that arrangement, especially without telling me, can cause me a lot of trouble. I often have things ordered in what must seem to others a strange way, and they're unlikely to see the method behind the apparent madness. So moving things can be like removing the brake cable in a car.

I don't much mind people touching my stuff as such, it's just that I can rarely be sure that they're not going to make a fatal change.

It makes it difficult for me to live with people unless I can have places that are seen as my private territory. Even then, I have trouble doing anything efficiently in the shared areas, because they often have them arranged in what looks to me like a bad way, and I can't understand how they get anything done under such conditions. It was a problem at work when they had a lot of shared equipment, though some people agreed with me that shared equipment is a bad idea from the user's point of view. Unfortunately the bosses could save a lot of money with shared equipment, so my ranting went unheeded.

I wouldn't want anybody to tidy up my clutter. They'd never have the time to study the job carefully enough to understand that what looks like a mess to them is actually well-organised.



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,715
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

20 Feb 2024, 10:33 pm

It's more to do with;
Change, specific types of certainty related to assurance and security or rigidity, the concept of property or consent and permission, spatial memory, and identification to some extent...
Can be an issue of trust, boundaries, assurance in privacy.


Cleaning doesn't 'freak me out'.
But moving things without my say so will annoy the heck out of me.

Mostly because there are things I know where it was placed.
Having to have to find something that can be 'misplaced' can be very frustrating when time and energy is wasted when it shouldn't be.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.


Eyeselation
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 4 Jan 2024
Gender: Female
Posts: 213
Location: Wisconsin

21 Feb 2024, 3:53 am

Slightly off topic but in the same vein- I’ve been told my rented place is too clean and sterile. As if nobody lives here. My landlord actually said that to me in amazement. (BTW I’m his favorite tenant.) I live in a Condo now so small enough to keep things in order by myself. But to me I can never get it clean enough. Need to know everything is in its place.
Former girlfriend couldn’t stand it and would deliberately make a mess or break things just to irritate me. Like putting her feet on a chair or a windowsill, or digging them into the sofa. Once she put her feet on the arm of my couch with her shoes on! I was livid. (Should have had her shoes off anyway) Would break things when I wasn’t around then not mention it or deny she did it at all. Makes no sense. Only two people there and I knew I didn’t do it. Once she tried to put bacon grease down my kitchen sink. Nobody does that. Hate the smell of bacon anyway. It lingers.
When I cook I clean as I go, so by the time food is ready all I have left to wash are the plates and utensils. I only wash by hand not dishwasher; quicker easier and no etching on drinking glasses. She found that irritating. Don’t ask me why. She’s sloppy, taking off clothes then dropping then on the floor, leaving dishes in the sink. Hanging her coat on the back of chairs.
If she stayed over I had her sleep in the guest bedroom. (Can’t get restful sleep with someone beside me) The next morning she wouldn’t make her bed! That’s one of the first things I do everyday. No excuse not to. Slowly realized she was doing things deliberately just to upset me. She told me I was anal and normal people live the way she does. And she wonders why I refused to move in together. She’d drive me crazier than I already am. Could use a roommate to share expenses but would have to be someone who appreciates cleanliness and tidiness the same as I do.