Help, what's my problem? Academic failure and not diagnosed.

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Hello, I am totally new on this site, I registered because I really need opinions about an issue I've been having for years. Btw this is the first time I'm using a forum at all and also English isn't my first language (so you all know, in case I make any tecnical or gramatical mistake). Also I'm posting in this section because I couldn't decide if it was a "school" isue or a "job" issue due to my age.

First of all I am not diagnosed but I heavily suspect I migth be autistic, specially because I relate with most of the traits and experience and also because I am constantly told by autistic people (a lot of my closest friends for example) that they believe I am autistic too.

That's why I believe that maybe what I am going to talk about next migth be related to being autistic or to some kind of neurodiversity:



So I am 23-24 yo guy and I'm a complete academic failure , after primary school everything went slowly to hell. I am a "high school" drop out (after spending 4 years there (it's a 2 year thing in my country)). I ended up geting into a "trade school" and the same happened, I got into one trade, spent 2 years, didn't even finished the first year, changed trades, and I'm another 2 years in and luckily only retaking my final year (so they'll be 3).

I find it so terribly difficult! And I can't explain why to anyone, they don't understand what I'm saying!

I always ended up so so tired after 3 months into the school year that I got physically ill and couldn't even feed myself some days, I believe now that I just got burned out because at that point I always noticed more the traits and issues that made me doubt if I was autistic.

But even when I'm not tired I find studying so hard, I try to study but I always fail the tests and I don't really understand why. I just feel confused most of the time, not about the topic but about the class itself. The worst thing is that because I'm reeeally good at the practical part (I'm very handy and I learn this part x2 faster than the rest) my professors don't really believe me when I explain I find theory very difficult, so I just seem lazy to them and get told to work more.

I'm also not able to concentrate or to stay in one topic even if I really try, I love to learn and sometimes I get like obsessed about something and I spend hours and even days engaging with it. The topics change but most of them are recurrent, for example ornithology, antrophology, western stuff, etc. they are around like for some months and I can't stop reading about it and studying them, taking notes, reading books, listening to videos, etc. I feel so bad and ashamed because I feel they are usseles, they get in the way of my academic life, they also interfere in my social life sometimes. I believe these can be what some people call "special interest" but it confuses me that they aren't constant trought the year.

Most people ask me why I just don't pursue these topics for my career, and the thing is I'm already doing it, the first trade I tried was one of my dream careers but I got so burned out that it became physically imposible for me to do it, and the same is happening now. I'm very scared because I don't know how I will be able to hold a job.

What is happening to me? Did anyone experienced the same? Will I be able to hold a job at some point? Any opinion is welcomed.

Did you know that upwards of 50% of autistic people also have ADHD? It sounds like you could have this combination, sometimes referred to as "AuDHD".
Of course, I realize you aren't yet certain of being autistic nor diagnosed as such.

I too found school difficult, and I too have experienced burnout, both academically and occupationally. I think learning more about autism and ADHD will be nothing but beneficial for you. Learning about our needs and unique brains helps us to learn how to adjust our lives so as to better accommodate ourselves. It's also freeing, because learning that we're not bad or lazy or simply broken, is a huge relief.

It could be attention defecit disorder I guess, though it's hard to be sure without a diagnosis.

Do you have any of the other things associated with it, such as poor time management and organisation, impulsiveness, and poor temper control?

I've never been sure if I've got ADD or not. I had the same history of educational performance dropping - I did great for the first few years but things just got worse and worse after that, and it took me a lot of effort to get my 'O' levels, and I had to do that by reading text books very slowly and carefully because I couldn't focus on spoken-word teaching very well at all.

Interesting that you did much better at practical work than theoretical. So do I, but I always felt it was down to my just having more of an aptitude for practical than theoretical and that it was just part of who I am. But when I say I'm not theoretically-minded, I don't mean I'm hopeless at any theories. I can often grasp theories well if I can get the right information to explain them clearly enough and go at my own speed, which tends to be very slow and thorough, so it takes me a bit longer but once I'm there I've got it more deeply than a lot of people do.

But I've never been too keen on looking for a label.

The treatments for ADD smack of medicating people to fit into an educational system that's simply unsuitable for them, though psychotherapy might not be bad if it was properly done and if I could get it without also being put on tablets. And I should confess that I've not looked very deeply into what exactly what they recommend for ADD.

I suppose I've always preferred to focus on the individual traits that cause me problems, and try to address those regardless of what the overarching label might seem to be. And as I was never diagnosed with anything till my education days were over, I came to see the whole thing as a matter for me to solve by myself, and perhaps not surprisingly I've come to prefer it that way.

Hope this helps in some small way. It's mostly about me, but it might be useful for you to compare your experiences with mine.

I used to think I had ADHD before, but after some things that were impacting me in my life started to disapear some of my ADHD "traits" also went away, I got much better at time managing, my executive dysfunction was weaker, etc. The only traits that didn't went away were mostly the ones that "overlap" with autism. That's when I realized I fitted better in the autism cathegory.

I really plan on seeing a profesional about this, I would like to be tested on multiple things just in case.

ADHD can get worse in times of stress. Of course, though, many things can mimic ADHD symptoms... including high stress.