Women drifting into my path & forcing me to adjust

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ndLeopard
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08 Aug 2025, 10:53 pm

Hey everyone, I’m dealing with some behavior from others in public thats been really upsetting me. and I don’t have anyone in my life that can personally relate.

I am a man, and while walking through an urban environment, I’ve been noticing strange behavior from certain women in public — in my neighborhood, in the park and sidewalks. They seem to block my path, hover near me, or stare at me in ways that feel provocative or invasive. It’s been happening enough that it doesn’t feel random anymore. It doesn't feel like they're flirting.

I always keep to the right side of the sidewalk, as far as I can without scraping against fences or walls. Yet some women, instead of passing me on the left, squeeze past on my right — my side — even if it means brushing shoulders. Sometimes they stare at me or in my general direction as they do this, so it doesn’t feel accidental.

This isn’t just on sidewalks. Recently, I was on a paved path in a park when a woman(on the grass) who had been standing still and staring into space suddenly started walking diagonally into my path right as I was about to pass her. It forced me to speed up or risk getting stuck behind her.

I’m not doing anything to provoke it — I keep to myself — but I feel like I’m being watched or baited. And it’s making me anxious and angry. In addition to tourettes, I'm likely undiagnosed autistic (with strong PDA tendencies), and I’m trying to make sense of this without losing my peace. I feel like I’m being disrespected/targeted based on my appearance or mannerisms (maybe...) I feel like my autonomy is being threatened when this happens and I become really angry and anxious. I fixate on it after it happens, it's draining, and it makes it even harder for me to leave the house.

I sometimes wonder if it’s because I walk quickly — but even if I am a fast walker, I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. That shouldn’t mean others get to dictate my pace or physically block me.

I want to stress: these aren’t random, clumsy accidents. This is a repeated, avoidable pattern where people actively drift toward me instead of taking an easier, open path. It happens so often that it feels intentional, or at least socially ingrained in a way that singles me out.

On top of this, I often notice people staring from their yards or doorways as I approach, sometimes freezing mid-action to watch me. Combined with the constant drifting into my space, it can feel like I’m being subtly challenged almost every day. Before I learned about autism/PDA, I even wondered if I was being targeted or stalked.

I’m trying to figure out why this happens so often. Is this a social dynamic I’m missing? A reaction to how I look or move? Has anyone else — especially in urban environments — experienced this kind of repeated personal-space invasion and forced adjustment?

Any thoughts on what’s going on and how to cope would be greatly appreciated.



Jakki
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08 Aug 2025, 11:55 pm

How obvious does your tourettes appear to outsiders ... Are you in a crappy neighbourhood ? many variables . .What about. you might present poorly to unknown women . ? Maybe your neighbood is just full of plain jerks for women ?
Not to put too fine a point on it . Or are you a white handicapped male living in a ethically dark area or other such circumstances , that has alot of abused women, whom want to take out frustrations on males ?..Many variables and possibly impossible to read their minds . You may want to appear more cavalier as a guy . When you walk in public .?
Wear dark glasses or mirrored glasses. While appearing cavalier.. It sounds like they maybe reacting to your appearances ? These are just wild reckonings . Do you have anyone whom might walk with you and offer you a honest assessment of your experiences ?
And btw , Welcome to Wrong Planet ...often , people do their starting posts as a little bit of a personal introduction I think ? .Sorry you are facing the situations in public that you are .Hope the best for you .


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Last edited by Jakki on 09 Aug 2025, 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tamaya
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09 Aug 2025, 12:23 am

You're only a year older than me. How did you get through childhood and adolescence without getting a diagnosis of autism, if it is autism you have? I got diagnosed at age 8 and I feel like the only spectrumer of our generation who did, and I'm a female with level 1 ASD. :(
I mean, if random strangers on the street can see something is "off" about you judging by their behaviour you described in your post, how did teachers at school and your family not notice anything at all?

I just never understand how people of our generation and younger manage to go undiagnosed.


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hmk66
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09 Aug 2025, 1:54 am

I experience something similar, but I think it's milder and there is no difference between men and women in this respect. People don't anticipate where they are walking. I do anticipate. Actually I copied this from driving (trying to find out what the other drivers want, where they want to go to) to walking. I anticipate others' paths. I think there is no reason to block someone's path or to bump.

On the other hand I do get a lot of attention from women. They are smiling and sometimes they are walking very close to me, although the area is not crowded (Women are at least not afraid of me; still some of them my consider me as a creep). They do not block or try to bump into me. I myself keep more distance from strangers, unless it's impossible: that is in a plane, in a bus, in a queue.



Bunno
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11 Aug 2025, 6:37 am

Not to dismiss, but I'm finding people increasingly seemingly unable/unwilling to plot a trajectory and project/focus an intention along a path, nevermind a crowd, that doesn't conflict. Maybe it's partly that I stride at a clip but it's impossible to walk without sidestepping around people simply unable to manage walking, it seems. It's like they're unaware of the need to coordinate untill 0.1 seconds from impact.

And it's on the increase, people are just seeming more and more vapid and unaware of others.



hmk66
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11 Aug 2025, 10:28 am

It is egocentrism or selfishness.

They don't care about others. But I do care. If you don't want a collision between cars, why not also bumping into others. I anticipate where other people want to walk to.



Tamaya
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11 Aug 2025, 10:58 am

When I'm walking with someone and there's people approaching us on the pavement (sidewalk) 9 times out of 10 they always pass on my side so I have to always walk behind the person I'm walking with. It's a very obvious pattern, not a coincidence. I remember it really got to me for a time and I'd argue with my mother about why people never passed on her side.

I remember one evening I was walking along with my mother and a group of teenagers were coming along. I always found walking past groups of teenagers intimidating, and of course they were approaching on my side. I went behind my mother to let them past but ended up on the other side of her so that the teenagers would be on her side instead of mine.
But after they had passed my mother began lecturing me not to act so scared around teenagers and that I shouldn't have gone the other side of her. I flew up in a self-loathing rage because I suddenly felt stupid and inadequate and would have appreciated it if my mother hadn't made an issue out of it. But I was just tired of having to keep walking behind the person I'm with to make way for people coming by, it always seemed to be me every time..


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autisticoder
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14 Aug 2025, 6:24 am

Yeah I don’t get it either.

You pass on the left when driving if you want to pass someone; shouldn’t you do that when walking?


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frollpoff
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14 Aug 2025, 10:50 am

In my late teens and early twenties I almost felt like a ghost walking the high street and in crowds, like I was invisible. Getting older helped and doing exercise and not being quite so skinny gave me a little more confidence (instead of being timid). So now I can decide to pick a path and stick to it, or to move out the way. I never used to have that choice, and would move out of people's way due to politeness or fear. Used to be paranoid too.