Growing up black and autistic in Chicago Illinois

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For me as young black autistic man growing up in 90s and 2000s was hard I knew I was different and lived in both Chicago and oak park Illinois several times when I lived in Chicago schools in predominantly black area I felt like an alien I was bullied by other black kids plus autism was not very well known and people like were treated bad plus I had disfuntional family problems as well and early childhood depression caused to self isolate from everything and for years in Chicago I was alone and when we moved back to oak park Illinois for the schools I didn't make any new friends at oprfhs it was like I didn't mature enough I was a teen but felt like a young kid still and never found myself my talen personality who I was I felt was nothing at the it did eventually change in my 30s and I feel I missed out on alot and also was more comfortable in oak park I made alot more friends there then in the black schools and students and I resented being black because of my family disfuntional drama and how I was treated by my black peers and adults and being diagnosed autistic when I was young by doctors made me feel different but go through alot and in my 20s it was the same ones alone regretted not making friends in oak park and is listed alot while working after getting job training in program sponsored by oprfhs to help autistic people get jobs and make money and I felt I could never get a girlfriend I was very broken on it like what do I have that they would want and it felt so isolating growing up I thought something bad was wrong with me why was I born with burden growing up with less where others kids loved fullfiled lives and had great lives money friends I never really had and did envy that when I was young I had been through so much now that I reflect I should gotten therapy or help but st the time I didn't know what to do I was not fully mature like other people despite my age

Getting a girlfriend could be difficult. I don't know that I can offer useful advice.

I can tell you I gave up on ever getting married when I was 40. I continued participating in organizations I was involved it, but accepting I would not find a girlfriend.

Even though I was not looking for a gal I found one at a party...and took no action because I considered it a hopeless cause.

Four months later she telephoned me for a favor, sincerely just looking for a favor and with no expectation of actually meeting me in person. However, while I was on the phone with her I realized there was another favor I could do for her that would require meeting.

We married in 2000 and are still happily married.

She's ADHD and, predictably, very busy. Our differences do well together.

P.S. The only insight I can offer is that, initially, I was just trying to be a nice guy and help her with something.

everyone here can relate to the not fitting in part

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