Could shyness be just a way to "mask" autism?

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I think that shyness/social phobia in people on the spectrum could be a way to cope with autistic symptoms in order to keep some sort of social acceptance.

Let me explain better. I always suffered from shyness and to a lesser extend social phobia in unknown settings or with people I don't know much. However, once I get familiar with the situation or the people, this shyness tends to fade away and my "true" personality emerges with all its weirdness.

My theory is that blatant display of autistic behaviour in the past could have result in us being rejected by the outside world, so we have subconsciously learned to mask these symptoms by adopting a low-profile,shy behaviour when we are in public.

What do you think?

I think shyness in a lot of cases is caused by a lack of confidence and that may be a lack of confidence in one's own personality, in its true form, when displayed to others.

But shyness can also be caused by social anxiety, with the social anxiety causing an unwillingness for a person to confidently engage with others on an interpersonal level.

A person might also shy simply because of their temperament, which varies by person.

yes, we learn to avoid social interaction after repeated failures and struggles to communicate or interact socially. Experience is a great teacher! We will avoid those things that repeatedly make us uncomfortable. If we feel inadequate to cope with something, we will avoid doing whatever that "something" is.

Shy appearances is easily a mask. Any personality can be.

It's a particularly a safe way to go about around people by 'being a bit introverted but at least I'm out here -- let them assume I'm just shy, not a weirdo or unapproachable' shtick.

Masking isn't simply all about pretending to be an outgoing interesting person. Masking is more of a means to hide 'odd' traits and pass.

Shyness as a mask is not 'fail pass', it's just a way less extroverted (or somewhat a more neurotic) way of 'passing'.


In my own case...
Shyness is not a mask, it's just what happens to me -- like any emotions and hopefully aligns with intent.

If anything, it's my way of expressing of being too busy coping with something (usually holding back unwanted irritability and desiring to not dealing with anyone), or doing subtle humble-brag, hiding situational worry, or some weird hard to get play ploy playing on inclusive cultures.

But not masking 'autism' or denying being weird itself. I'm openly weird unless I'm sick or tired or something.

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Yes! I've been wondering about this exact same thing!

I keep reading about autistic women using masking, but I don't identify with it. However, I "act" shy... really shy. I'm not sure if I actually am shy. I do get anxious around people, but it's mostly because I don't want to be around them. When I have to be around them and have to put up with them talking to me, I act shy, so I don't appear rude, but they eventually (if I'm lucky), leave me alone. You don't really have to converse if you're shy... people don't expect shy people to say very much.

Everyone always tells me I'm shy but I'm really not sure if I actually am. However, I do get anxious around people. So, it's confusing.

Absolutely.

If one is punished consistently when attempting to socialize one often tends to shy away(pun intended) from socializing.

Definitely - I've used shyness, both deliberately and automatically out of fear. I often found it to be a safer strategy than trying to communicate and being ostracized. Now I try to avoid the kinds of people that put me in situations where this is required, and find myself generally being much less shy.

I suspect my "true" personality might look a bit like shyness, but that's mostly just because I take time to compose my thoughts, and don't always feel the need to participate when people are talking about utterly banal and meaningless things (which sports team won this week, what gas prices have climbed to, what political party is in trouble this month).

I withdrawal a lot and don't talk because of past bad experiences. If I get comfortable with someone, I can be a chatterbox but that takes a very long time, most people just give up on me or think I'm weird. I mean it took me a good year to even speak to a neighbor of mine, same with a co-worker.

I find if I don't talk, then I won't say something stupid, come off as weird, talk too much, or make an ass of myself. I've become more reclusive as I've gotten older, and my shyness is getting worse sadly.

I believe so.
When I was a young child I was not shy by nature, but I started behaving like that around 9 or 10 years old because I was realising that I kept saying the wrong things and getting bad reactions from people. So I became much more hesitant about talking, especially to people I didn't know well.

I think social phobia, social anxiety, shyness and similar "conditions" could simply be a adequate reaction when you are autistic. There is a realistic risk that people actually will think you say the wrong thing or act weird in a social situation. If a NT person with social phobia should question their thoughts an autistic person maybe instead should question other peoples judgemental attitude towards their behaviour and stop feeling bad about harmless autistic traits.

Yes. At 50 I was surprised when a new friend observed --- you were so quiet at first, but you're a firecracker. Ah, yes. I must have been shelling out "doses" of myself so I figure out who can "tolerate" it (ableism) and then when I find that person or group, I'm free(r)! !! !

The things I never say never get me into trouble.

Calvin Coolidge

I'm never sure how to begin things. I've been known as both semi outgoing and a church mouse. As I've gotten older I seem to be the latter, as being more outgoing especially when unmasked got me trouble at times and made fun of. Post Covid, it seems I've been able to get away with some of my mediocre social skills a bit more than before.

Honestly, at times I wish I had a little more balance in my life socially but it's better to be the guy who never says anything than the one who makes an ass of himself or who gets into things that are none of one's business.

As a kid I was fairly outgoing but socially clumsy, if I was quiet or in solitude it was because I wanted to be, but I wasn't nervous. And if I felt like talking I could talk forever but it would mostly be about my favourite topics. I became shy in my early teens after being picked on and not knowing what was wrong, I became too self aware for my own good and I've been a shy person ever since. It's easier to do or say nothing so nothing will ever go wrong. It is a sort of masking I think. Not a very helpful one. I was genuinely selective mute in my teens and it sometimes comes back for a moment.
I have improved over time so I can still be quiet because I feel like it and push through it when I want and need to talk. I feel more in-touch with my bold childhood self as I age out of adolescent self-consciousness. I can't avoid amusing people when I'm being bold so I may as well own it.

I think what makes me nervous talking to people is being aware that I don't have anything to say that isn't really samey. And I don't want to be samey. But I have nothing else. I'm not imaginative when I'm put on the spot and someone is looking at me. So shy silence it is.

I was a shy child in the classroom but that was more down to anxiety and masking the unknown ADHD that I had. I didn't want too much attention drawn to me in class by too many children, so I was just perceived as shy. But when I was in a smaller class (like for math) I became a class clown.

I can be shy when around people I don't know very well, which I guess is a form of masking, because naturally I'm a sociable and amiable person.