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iScream
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

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Joined: 12 Dec 2025
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: Under Your Bed

24 Dec 2025, 4:06 pm

I've been doing hands on computer work for about 30 years, the last 23 of those have been programming (.Net). I've been a tech lead at several companies. My resume is pretty nice but I've struggled a lot with interpersonal relationships. So much that I really don't have that much of a network after all these years.

I'm 54 and just got my ASD diagnosis a few weeks ago, so I finally have some answers on why I've struggled with building relationships. It has honestly been a mystery to me all this time. I recognized there was some kind of problem but had no real idea what I was doing wrong. Had a pretty bad mental health breakdown 2 years ago and left my job about 14 months ago. Haven't tried to find a new gig until now.

Now I want to transition to managing a small to medium team of some kind of computer nerds. Hopefully developers. I have a strong technical base so I can easily pick up enough about whatever job my team is doing. Enough that I can probably be a help to them fairly quickly.

But I want/need things to be different with coworker relationships. I've learned enough about ASD now to understand I'm going to have to put effort and thought into building relationships. Which means the dreaded small talk and all that.

So, after over explaining all the above, here's my question(s) to anyone with Aspergers who is managing people. How much effort do you actually put into getting to know your peers? Do you force yourself to stop at the coffee machine and initiate conversations? Do you have any tips on how you navigate the world at work?

Also, does anyone have any good suggestions on leadership books I should read or free/cheap training I could take to help me out when I interview?


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