Trying to self-diagnose (rant inside)

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I keep everything about myself inside because I'm afraid about what anyone I tell that to would do to me. I can't make friendships as in people I can trust because I can't trust anyone. When I'm in a room with a bunch of people I have to sit towards the back because otherwise I feel like everyone behind me is staring at me and talking about me for this reason I don't like going to any place with a lot of people. I get complex thought patterns triggered by really small things, so that everything someone says to me I tend to interpret negatively. I'm kind of in my own world and lost in my own thoughts usually, and generally keep to myself. I also don't like to make eye contact with people because I feel that they may be able to see through my eyes into my thoughts. When I do say stuff, sometimes people have no clue what I'm talking about and I tend to freeze up in social situations due to anxiety. I use a different name on every forum I go to so people don't spy on what I'm doing on other forums. I also off and on go through phases where I use proxies to do stuff on the internet because I feel the government is spying on me. I'm also totally self conscious about myself and worry about how everyone perceives me, particularly my image because I don't like to talk very much and feel that people might be scared of me or think I'm strange. It doesn't even matter because I wouldn't be doing anything with them anyway, in that way it's an irrational cause of anxiety. I also can't look at myself sometimes in the mirror because I'm afraid of what I'll see. My short term memory is absolutely horrendous and seems to be getting worse.

What I'm wondering is if this sounds more like Social Anxiety Disorder (aka Avoidant PD) or Schizotypal PD as I want to break out of this myself and first identify the problem. I don't trust psychologists at all so I can't tell them about myself which is why self diagnosis seems like the best option. If medication could help, I would prefer approaching a psychologist with a list of the criteria I fit for the disorder and hopefully getting a quick diagnosis and prescription. Right now, the anxiety is almost unbearable from this kind of stuff combined with OCD and I have trouble motivating myself to even do things such as walk up stairs to get something or walk 10 feet to grab a drink when I'm thirsty.

The only reason I'm posting here is because of anonymity. If you even knew what country I lived in, I might not be posting this.

I'm not an expert. I know some about mental disorders due to it being one of the things I'm fascinated in. I'm also a Psychology student. The most important thing is if you feel it is a problem, and or you feel like hurting anyone in these times of anxiety get help immediately. Again I'm no expert, but it's definately not an ASD. It sounds alot like Scizophrenia related illness. It could be real bad anxiety. Only a professional can clear that up. They went to many years of school, and on the job training. Good luck, and I hope you get what you need.

The paranoia and anxiety sound extremely bad. I'd urge you to see a professional as well. How about a psychiatrist, if you don't want to open up to a psychologist? They seem to be more concerned with symptoms, and less with knowing everything about you.

I couldn't have said it better, so I'll just quote stitch, and say I feel the same way. Your description sounds like a textbook case of paranoia, and you obviously have SOME anxiety. I would not be surprised if one of the things the psychiatrist says is that it is SAD.

Your behaviour is not quite in line with autism, but with the paranoia and OCD, I would seek the help of a psychiatrist. Sounds like it may be triggering schizophrenia, and the sooner you get help, the sooner you can prevent a schizophrenic episode, which is really bad - you don't want to go there (I have a family member that never properly attended to it in time, and tried to control it, and is pretty much beyond repair at this point).

Please go and see a GP or a psychiatrist as soon as possible.

And please trust that nobody is watching you. You must just believe this. It is in your mind. Just trust me in this. It will drive you insane if you don't realise that your mind is playing tricks on you. Nobody really cares enough to try and find you on all the forums on the world, that is just the truth. Only you care that much. Now go get some help.