Not new, but fairly recent questions of AS

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Hi there,

Been a member of WP for a while now, as I began my neverending search to get an appropriate Dx for my now nine year old daughter. She finally received the AS diagnosis, this past June, after threats of suicide, severe anxiety & depression, coupled with all the other signs of AS. She has since been out of school because of the lack of understanding and we spent an entire summer fighting for accommodations through the school board and JUST managed to secure an inclusive system with appropriate accommodations in a new and extremely supportive school.

So that said...on to me.

Incredible as it may seem, but I believe I also have AS. 29 years old and just coming to the realization. *sigh* I have been cautioned not to open this "can of worms", but I think for everyone in my immediate families sanity, I should, at the very least look into it for us.

I don't really care to have an official dx. I have lived sufficiently long enough without one and functioned reasonably well. I cannot imagine any direct benefits of having a formal dx, except for an explanation for some of my more recent displays of AS. I often wonder if it would help my employer/colleagues better understand my way of being, but over the years I have been coached/role played enough with "friends" that I have made employment manageable.

I don't think I would have given it a second thought, until my daughter was diagnosed, but during the past 2 years I have gone through some hormonal changes (2nd pregnancy) and increased anxiety, depressive moments, etc) and my AS-like traits have become more and more obvious/prominent.

When I first approached my partner about it, he dismissed it. Obviously because he cares and did not want me obsessing about whether or not I had an ASD. I made it clear to him, since then, that I felt it to be true and whether he wanted to acknowledge it or not, I would continue to look into it.
Since then, he has been open about traits he has noticed and never really measured them up with the Dx of AS for our daughter, but felt that I had some very noticeable ways about me, that were extreme in contrast with to others....

So, I guess, I wonder a couple of things...

Is it possible for pregnancy to act as a trigger and make such traits more prominent?

I have to say, I have always managed to live a fairly ecclectic/eccentric life, which has lead me to meet many others like myself, that accepted my oddities and understood my need for bizarre & random social disconnections...but the past couple of years have been....different. Having more frequent meltdowns, more social isolation, more avoidance, less and less eye contact, more and more people reacting negatively to my brutal honesty, way of thinking/processing, my ridiclous need to tell everyone EVERYTHING, SEVERE extremes in jumping from special interest to special interest, obsessing, more overstimulation when in stressful, loud or crowded places, compulsive need to pick at my skin, etc but yet I have found more & more awareness as the signs become stronger...

I am not a Dr. but I am absolutely positive my youngest brother has an ASD and it would certainly explain about a million unexplainable behaviours that my mother has had her entire life....

Can anyone shed any light?

You sound a lot like me. I only just recognized my own AS at 33 years old due to trying to get help for my son. I think that my younger brother probably has AS too, but was only diagnosed with ADHD as a child. My mother has several AS traits, but probably not enough for a diagnosis.

Thanks for responding. Hope you are well.

xx

Remember that autism is a spectrum and we can move back and forth. I became much more autistic a year ago when i stopped going to college and started living locked up in my room all day, now i cant even greet people. And i know that when i get a job i will become less autistic. Sounds very natural to me that your traits got stronger during pregnancy... or maybe you have always been that way but didnt notice it until you started researching ASD.

And yes, it's a heritable condition, i can trace it back to my grandfather, and some of my uncles and cousins have it. The having or not having ASD is heritable, but your position on the spectrum isnt.

That sounds so much like me, with the rapid swinging from obsession to obsession, the skin picking etc etc... are you sure it isn't just you becoming more aware of these things you didn't notice before? Sometimes that can happen upon the realisation you have AS.
Have you always swung from obsession to obsession rapidly?
I do that too...find it so annoying that I cannot become a true expert in any one area.

I wonder why you were told not to open that "can of worms"? I'd call it a can of self-awareness that helps one come up with coping strategies and learning ways to not disturb other people.
Having a baby to care for and one on the way definately increases stress and fatigue with ensuing loss of self-control, hence more evidence of aspie traits.
I discovered my daughter got her autism honestly in my mid-forties, and I am only this year figuring out what it all means, and only last month realized hey! so's my dad! I recognized asperger's in a nephew and a niece before I recognized it in my dad. For being so smart, I sure am slow about some things.
Now I ask people to help me with my disabilities (face blindness etc) and to let me know when I am making them uncomfortable. A potential daughter-in-law was happy to take my permission to tell me what she doesn't want to talk about.

Yeah, actually, I was just sitting reflecting (while my "other half" watches the crap show Hero's and I am certain that these have all ALWAYS been there and that they are being recognized more readily now that I am armed with the knowledge...but it is more extreme, these days, for sure!

My poor family!

I am currently VERY EXTREMELY stuck on the internet, forums, facebook, reading, researching, etc

Anything remotely close to interesting has me searching for hours online.

I made a smart remark to my cousin this evening about an event that we were all interested in attending in the States that has recently past, but I was sure to tell her not to fear as I would likely spend the next nine days reading ALL about it and we will most definitely have one expert by the time it rolls 'round again next year!

I jump from just about anything creative and artistic, but really have never mastered much of anything. I have created online chats for "wanna be artists" like myself. I tend to research anything and EVERYTHING AS, OCD, Anxiety, GFCF Diets, Special Education, etc endlessly...
My daughter's health and wellbeing was a huge interest for me, for a LOOOONG time. Today it is WP, tomorrow...who knows what the future holds!

I know the most bizarre things. Things that only really ever interest me. Only at times I feel like I have stuffed my brain with so much crap that I have little room for anything else.

I am super forgetful. I have a really difficult time remembering alot of my past. I have always chopped it up to having too many things going on and referred to it as "scatterbrain syndrome", only...I know that often times people with AS have the most INCREDIBLE memory and ability to recollect things from very early on (ex: my daughter remember absurd random things from the time that she was 2.5!)

I like my interests. Only I am not so sure my family cares for them. My AS daughter has been telling me for 2 years now that she thinks I get "stuck" too easily (like she can even say anything!! !) and that she does not like that I am stuck on the computer. *sigh*

As for the can of worms, I totally agree.

I think it will be incredibly helpful for me to learn some boundaries...as I currently overstep them, on a regular basis. I am returning to work shortly, after a year long maternity leave and I am a little concerned about how my more prominent traits will be taken, really.

Worst of all, I work with people!! !!

People are used to me and my complete openness and while being in the company of friends/family they are more likely to understand/excuse my peculiarities, my colleagues may be, NOT SO MUCH!

Before leaving on maternity leave, throughout the year that I was pregnant, I can also think back to times where my colleagues & clients had some comments/concerns about my growing lack of etiquette, eye contact, tone, etc.

oh no...3 MORE weeks! *sigh*

I was recently dx with AS, just last month actually.
My 20 year old son was dx 2 years ago, and I, like you, started to look at myself and my 'differences' throughout my life.
I am also aware of it in other members of my family, definitely an uncle, perhaps my younger brother also.
As for pregnancy bringing out the Aspie traits, I am not sure about. I have always had sensitivity's, quirkyness, obsessions, anxiety issues, lack of friends etc etc.. I just did not know why.
I know during and after pregnancy I suffered depression and anxiety more, but that may have been the hormones.
Good luck with everything!

Thank you.

Pleased that you got your Dx.