"you don't need it"

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Have any of you aspies ever had to put up with other people using the dreaded phrase,"You don't need it" whenever you want something?

I have had to put up with this all my life. For example, whenever I would complain to my parents about how I wanted more friends, they would calmly tell me,"We didn't have a lot of friends when we were kids." When I saved up and bought myself a really nice stereo last summer, while I was saving up for it, my sister kept saying phrases like,"You can't always get what you want," or "You don't need a new stereo."

Or, from another perspective, in my senior year of high school, everytime I complained that I didn't have enough friends, or complained that someone had a better stereo than me, my therapist kept preaching to me about how there are people who go to bed hungry and sh*t, but yet, other kids could pretty get as much as they wanted and no one would stop them.

Now I want to become an accountant when I graduate college, and my parents and career counselor want me to get my associate degree in liberal arts and then take an additional year of accounting/business courses, but yet, I keep reading on the internet and hearing from other people that I need a bachelor's degree to ebcome an accountant.

Has anyone else experienced this? Tell mke about it, it's annoying!

"What do you need that for?", was one of my fathers favorite sarcastic putdowns for me.

Worse, I've had management in the workplace deny my the training I needed to do the job. "Why do you need training? You should know how to do it by now! Just watch the others or read how to do it online!"

I was not to pester anyone with questions either.

I was bullied out of that job and now I've been sitting at home for almost 3 weeks.... just.... decomposing.


So, yes.... I've been told that. Still. Often.

It bugs me.

I usually ask myself why I need stuff. I've always been allowed to get pretty much whatever I wanted. You know, so long as I was paying for it. I try to be pretty frugal if at all possible, though.

UUUHhhhhh, yyyyyeah. I kind of meant to say that I have seemed to notice that when aspies complain or ask for something, people usually tell him or her to be grateful for this or that. But yet, normal people seem to get things handed to them on a silver plate. The only way aspie that gets special treatment is Jason McElwain. Look at him. He's a basketball hero, and I did read somewhere on the Net that his Dad is a chief financial officer or something.

I also did notice that when aspies act like NTs, you know, smile and be happy, etc., people then try to sweet talk them into being grateful. My parents are actually intermittent with this. One day they'll be like,"Hey, ****, if you want, put XM satellite radio on your christmas list," and the next minute they're all like,"****, that's life," or,"After getting your associate's degree, you may be ready to begin working, because you had some trouble with school this past semester." Jason McElwain doesn't plan on going for a bachelor degree after community college, but J-Mac's not going to become an accountant. He wants to work at Wegman's for the rest of his life, and he probably doesn't have to obsess about his salary because his rich, wealthy parents probably handed things to him on silver platter all his life, and with the movie deal he has going on, he'll probably end up becoming a millionaire.

I, however, have to worry here about my future because, while my parents do help me with certain things, overall, I am not a spoiled white kid. I am in a middle-class family.

But, overall, it seems like society expects aspies to be content with $20 boomboxes, spartan apartments, low paying jobs, and backstabbing friends because we "have to be grateful that people actually notice us." Well, not me! I intend to break that unwritten rule! I want to be a successful accountant, but I do not expect special treatment at work. I know that the management people are busy and all, so I'm not expecting them to attend to all my problems 24/7, and yes, I know I have to behave in a professional manner at work in order to gain respect in the corporate world.

And by the way, whining like a prima donna is not intended. The intended action here is to vent some feelings and discuss theories with you guys, and see if you can relate. I may have been whiny as a kid, but that doesn't mean I can't change.

That's what I thought, too.... but the corporate world is seldom based on SKILLS, it's based on social networking and having lots of powerful friends. These are the things that people consider "success" because it's how promotions are obtained (I've seen it all too often) and more money.

You'll have to be above-average at your job, but really practice those social skills and get out there and mingle until it hurts to get those promotions and better jobs. Yecchhh!!


My problem is an exaggerated moral code, and it irks me to the core when sub-average people succeed because they go bar-hopping with the right people, and the people who are actually skilled at their jobs are berated for not doing their jobs the same simple way they do it, or for not going out socializing with them. Being made out to be a poor worker just for not partying makes me mad.... very mad....

I don't want MORE - I just want the same opportunities the "average" people get! Why should I be denied that for being different?????

It's quite sick that society should expect the neurodiverse to be grateful for scraps and leave it at that.

However, in general, it seems to me that as a society we are, by and large, a bunch of spoiled white kids who. . . well. . .don't need that.

Sometimes yes, as when I was younger, my parents seem only to realize the needs my brother had, but they usually forgot mines in some way .. It's not that they were discriminating, but somwhow when they looked at me, they never seem to see anything wrong. But, if my brother dind't have all his teeth in good position they'll put him on an ortodoncy, but maybe I needed more than him, but with me it was always like "you don't need" . And when I realized I needed glasses, my father said to me I was asking for glasses only my best friend wore them, not for need only because I wanted to be like her, .. Yes, as you see sometimes I was like what's up with my parents ?? ...