house being knocked down tomorrow,what to do?

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KingdomOfRats
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16 Sep 2007, 8:28 pm

got back from parents house tonight to be told that-the massive old peoples sheltered housing complex is being knocked down tomorrow-it's opposite the house.
knew it's been going to be knocked down for a long time because they got rid of all the people that lived in there,and staff have reminded this regulary so it wouldn't be as much of a problem.
but,never knew it would come this quick,why do they not even tell residents these things when we are all living just across from it?
irewell valley [who am think also own the complex] actually send their gardeners to the house am live at to tell am when they are here,so am can go out before any lawnmowers go on,but to do this?
it has sent am MDing,and am feeling sick currently,and cannot go to bed [although that maybe hunger,don't know which] because it's just constantly thinking about it.

they are knocking the place down,so they can build over it all,and have been told this will take a long while to finish the lot.
the problem is,am cannot go and live back in parents home,because it had not been built into routine [staying there in the week] and because next to them are these big bowling greens which the owner has sold off and is being prepared to have loads of houses and appartments built on,they are also having their big club house knocked down and building a smaller one.
another problem with staying at parents home,is mum is an alcoholic,and she shouts and hits a lot when she is drunk,she is like this everyday when she gets her pension.

am cannot go stay anywhere temperary because change is a major problem for am,as is sensory-so what can am do?


should am go back to parents house [they haven't started knocking down their old club house and building yet but could do any day or month] and risk it all?
have already been planning to move to a new res. home,and a manager has given sister a homes' details she said which would be suitable [then again,she said this house was suitable for am,and it has a williams syndrome/asd like lady who shouts everything rather than speaks,from the moment she gets up till go to bed,screams to set off MDs in am,moves things around in bedroom attention seeks,an ocd LDer who has to bang everything,an LDer who seems to be deaf but have been told they are not as he has the tv on extremely loud,shouts,bangs,moves am things around and so on.
if am was going to move,am have to have a long line of day visits to build up a routine first before moving in,staff also have to be trained in am,in autism and in what they call 'intervention' [aka restraining] which all takes up more time to.

what should am do?

sorry it's a bit messy post,hope it is understandable enough,sleep deprivation is setting in.



nobodyzdream
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16 Sep 2007, 9:14 pm

Is there any way that if you had to move in with your parents, they would set up a routine for you to go and get adjusted to the change? Or would it be moving with no time to get used to it either way (into the other place, not your parents house I mean)?


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KingdomOfRats
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16 Sep 2007, 9:34 pm

nobodyzdream wrote:
Is there any way that if you had to move in with your parents, they would set up a routine for you to go and get adjusted to the change? Or would it be moving with no time to get used to it either way (into the other place, not your parents house I mean)?

thanks for replying nobodyzdream,
if it's definitely going to happen tomorrow like staff have said,there would be no time for even him to get used to the routine of what am do either-texted him tonight after was brought back to tell him about it,and he has not replied.



nobodyzdream
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16 Sep 2007, 10:06 pm

sorry to hear :( Sounds rough. Well, either way, you will wind up in this new place right? Would it help to go to your parents temporarily despite all of the rough stuff that happens there, just for the familiarity until you do get a routine going? It may not be the best option, but at least you would know exactly what to expect and what to watch for to try to avoid certain situations, along with having familiar faces around. Not that I think it is the best situation to be going to, but it could be a bit less stressful than moving into a new place with all new faces, not knowing anybody or what to expect all at once.

At your parents, it would just be temporary right? Do you have a room there or anything where you could go to get away for a bit when things get too hairy?

But... on the other hand, I suppose moving right into the new place might be better. It may be WAY more stressful, and would be extremely rough, but if you are bound to wind up there anyway, maybe just do it in one shot (which I am sure sounds completely insane). That way you don't have to go live with your parents who have... odd habits (when drinking) and readjust to that... just to readjust to another new place shortly after. It would be 2 smaller doses of it rather than one really big one, I guess would be the difference.

lol, sorry-I'm really bad at this kind of stuff :(


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16 Sep 2007, 10:39 pm

Will staying at the parent's happen when the pension comes in?

If not, will the situation be easier to handle for the short time?
I'm not sure how long until your new place will be ready.


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MastaVR6
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16 Sep 2007, 10:58 pm

have you tried ear plugs? not to be mean or even silly- I wear them in the very loud places I frequent and find the mrelaxing. A majority of minute sounds are silenced, allowing me to focus on my current task. It's ashame your mum isn't more considerate, the alcohol is a catalyst for poor decisions. Can you listen to music? Play CD's on repeat over and over? What about environmental rain forest, beach-scape recordings? The comfort I find in music (enables me to stim however I please) and repeating a cd is soothing to me.



KingdomOfRats
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17 Sep 2007, 8:12 am

nobodyzdream wrote:
sorry to hear :( Sounds rough. Well, either way, you will wind up in this new place right? Would it help to go to your parents temporarily despite all of the rough stuff that happens there, just for the familiarity until you do get a routine going? It may not be the best option, but at least you would know exactly what to expect and what to watch for to try to avoid certain situations, along with having familiar faces around. Not that I think it is the best situation to be going to, but it could be a bit less stressful than moving into a new place with all new faces, not knowing anybody or what to expect all at once.

At your parents, it would just be temporary right? Do you have a room there or anything where you could go to get away for a bit when things get too hairy?

But... on the other hand, I suppose moving right into the new place might be better. It may be WAY more stressful, and would be extremely rough, but if you are bound to wind up there anyway, maybe just do it in one shot (which I am sure sounds completely insane). That way you don't have to go live with your parents who have... odd habits (when drinking) and readjust to that... just to readjust to another new place shortly after. It would be 2 smaller doses of it rather than one really big one, I guess would be the difference.

lol, sorry-I'm really bad at this kind of stuff :(

that does sound better nobodyzdream?,
it would be harder to go from here>parents house>new place than it would be to go from here> new place....if,enough visits can get in on time?

still have old bedroom back at their house [they made sure not to move or change anything,and it's where am stay on saturday/sunday] but,when she has been drinking alcohol,it doesn't matter where in the house am in,as she follows there,and starts off again,even with the door locked,she used to play this excrutiating screechy irish music on her hifi all night no matter how many times it was turned off[a big md setoff],but the laser stopped working so she can't do it anymore...wasn't fault of am that it stopped working,but should have thought of that before.


Quote:
Will staying at the parent's happen when the pension comes in?

If not, will the situation be easier to handle for the short time?
I'm not sure how long until your new place will be ready.

yes,she gets it every two weeks,and gets tesco value gin-it's cheap strong stuff,so she can buy more of it and it lasts longer.
sister is phoning the manager today to find out more about the house and to start getting some appointments to it.
it can't be a semi or terraced type place because of noise but she has said that there are two males who live there,and are extremely quiet. [not sure if have wrote all this allready].

Quote:
have you tried ear plugs? not to be mean or even silly- I wear them in the very loud places I frequent and find the mrelaxing. A majority of minute sounds are silenced, allowing me to focus on my current task. It's ashame your mum isn't more considerate, the alcohol is a catalyst for poor decisions. Can you listen to music? Play CD's on repeat over and over? What about environmental rain forest, beach-scape recordings? The comfort I find in music (enables me to stim however I please) and repeating a cd is soothing to me.

mastaVR6,
that doesn't sound mean at all.
sensory problems are a major problem for am,wear some of the best,soft earplugs available underneath decent padded ear defenders,already and it only makes a little difference,have tried wearing a pair of sennheiser headphones over the top of the eardefenders,over the top of the earplugs but her noise still makes am MD.
cannot filter more than one sound at a time,as it causes very strong sensory jumbling,severe pain and md,so music doesn't work for am,can listen to it on it's own though but with the volume down very low,it is very nice to listen to though so am in definite agreement with that.


found out this morning that they are not.............knocking it down today......madam [the name given to the lady here to try and avoid using deserved swear words] had passed on the wrong information.....she said it was happening today to set off meltdown and cause trouble for am,as she knew it would.
it kept am awake till it was bright in the sky again.
what she should have said [what staff in today have told am] is they have sent a letter to warn it's going to happen soon,and that they will send another letter to say exactly when.
this at least gives some time to get used to it again,and to sort out.......something.

social worker is applying for funding for am for two days a week at anglo house [a national autistic society day centre] at the councils next funding meeting/monday,so if it starts when here,that would get am away from house all day for two days,but the rest...am cannot stay out all day,college on monday evenings is the only other longest time away in the week,don't know whether that would be a good idea,to stay here and get out? it would have to fit around existing routine though which might be a problem.
actually....would be a problem.