It has only been a matter of months since my diagnoses with AS, and being conscious of my autism for the 1st time is as daunting as it is hope filled.
I am realizing through WP that I do have meltdowns and the way in which I manage being overwhelmed with social contact, especially with those I feel deeply 'touched' by, is having awful intrusive thoughts. (classic OCD type intrusive thoughts)
As a child I never had tantrums, I was never able to get on the outside what was eating me away on the inside. I had this to an extraordinary extent, still do to this day, until my diagnoses I truly baffled people with my ability to remain on the outside the picture of serenity, whilst inside in a state of complete panic. It's been very distressing to be unable to communicate beyond words.
However, my breakthrough in seeing my intrusive thoughts in action in this way is a breakthrough in understanding how my OCD is a bi-product of my Autism and a psychic barrier against hypo arousal.
Does this resonate with anyone?
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www.chrisgoodchild.com
"We are here on earth for a little space to learn to bear the beams of love." (William Blake)
Thank God for science, but feed me poetry please, as I am one that desires the meal & not the menu. (My own)
23 Sep 2007, 3:03 pm
