Avoiding People on Walks...

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I just got back from a walk through my neighborhood - something I do a few times a week - and this time I changed my usual route because my old route was always filled with people. Having barbecues, walking their dogs, gardening...I couldn't escape them.

The reason I take a walk is to get lost in my own world. I enjoy the scenery (my neighborhood has a lot of trees, etc.), listen to my music, and think about things.

But as soon as I see another person walking toward me - even two blocks away - my alone time is interrupted and all I can think about for those two blocks is whether I should smile at this person, whether he/she will say hi to me, etc.

I always assumed the most NT of NTs feels this way sometimes, but usually when I tell people about this thought process of mine, they look at me like I'm crazy and say, "Just say hi to them. Who cares?"

Honestly, I love that we live in a world where people (sometimes/often) smile and say hi to each other - I'm just not sure I want to be a part of that world. This is part of why I love living in England v California (I take these walks in CA, btw). In England, while people are POLITE, they're not FRIENDLY and don't bother strangers with "pleasantries."

Anybody else feel this way, or are you all hello-ers?

Well, Adrie, I think your apprehension is totally understandable, and I think it is totally up to you. I know how much of a challenge it can be sometimes, to know what to say or even IF to say something to a complete stranger on a walk (especially on a walk). You would think that walks would be a great way to meet others, but I think the NT world is so jumpy and afraid of strangers because they think the other person might be a mugger or a wierdo.

Plus, I do get where you're coming from with the part about the person or people approaching you being a detriment to the whole experience of just walking and taking in the scenery. I suspect we Aspies are sensitive to the whole fakery and phoniness of the NT notion of "politeness", which I think is why we avoid a lot of people. Nature and scenery are REAL and beautiful, so I think we tend to pay attention to that rather than most people. It is a sad thing that this is so.

I myself am a "hello-er" when I sense that the other person might be receptive. I can usually tell almost right away whether he/she will be receptive. I live in an apartment complex where the majority of my fellow tenants are college students, and getting these people to so much as say "hello" is a struggle. But even if I feel slighted temporarily by that, I still say hello and smile to people as much as I can.

Adrie i am the same way, when i go for a walk, if i see someone or a crowd i have to change my walk route. like today, i usually walk past a park ( and some event was happening there) and heard alot of people so i ended up changing my walking pattern. i hate it...

I usually walk through the woods or the power lines, where I'm less likely to meet people.

Oh, my goodness, this is me all over!! I take my dogs out every day, and it's one of my favourite parts of the day - just me and them and my thoughts. If I see someone coming towards me, my immediate reaction is anger - "How dare they! This is MY walk! I'm using this footpath! Why can't they just bu**er off and walk somewhere else?" (completely irrational, of course - after all, it's a public footpath). That's quickly followed by exactly the same thought processes Adrie descibes - will they want to say hello? Should I say hello first? Do I have to look at them? etc etc...the whole thing can take up a good ten minutes of my walk!

There are some people I try to avoid but, on the whole, I like meeting up with familiar people. I also like to see how many different animals I can see, especially cats.

One thing I hate is when there are big piles of dog poop on the sidewalk. My dog never poops on the sidewalk. He is more like a cat in his potty habits, very discreet.

Well, I certainly am not alone in this! I used to walk along my street of residence, but there were people who liked to sit on their porches and watch me go by. Soon, it became obvious that they felt I should greet them every freaking time I went by. It So spoiled my walk, that I changed routes. After all, there were times when I would brace myself for a greeting, and they would be busy talking to each other, and not notice my wave. Or I would be intent on my inner world, only to realize a block away that someone had spoken and I hadn't registered it until it was too late. I do get resentful of the interruptions. After all, I could easily survive if no one in this neighborhood ever greeted me again!

Yep. Definately me. I'd rather be alone... I can muster the energy for a quick hello, but so many thought race regarding it - it's a definite interruption!

No wonder NT's think we're looney. They probably think the best part of a walk is meeting someone new!

This is pretty funny. I always considered just my sons as AS, but in this situation, this particular NT person (me) definitely feels the same as the rest of you -- I REALLY hate exercising with other people, and I purposely go to a park at a time in the morning where I will see the fewest amount of people. I despise going for walks in my neighborhood, because I particularly don't like seeing my neighbors or any other people I might know out walking as well. It infringes on what I consider to be my "personal" time. I do the daydreaming thing as well -- I like listening to my music or podcasts on my ipod, and it is great to have headphones on so that other people kind of get the idea to leave me alone.

I do find it fascinating, though, that there are other people at the park who obviously feel the way I do. There are about five to seven people who I do say hello to, and they are very nice and say a quick "good morning" back, and don't bother me any further than that. They obviously don't want to be bothered either, but it seems that we have a certain "understanding." I enjoy them. But anybody else, well . . .

Kris

I feel the same way, I get really caught off guard if somebody actually says hello, and usually blurt out an angry sounding response because I usually need to prepare for projecting my voice properly. For awhile I was getting up at 5am or going late at night when it's dark to try and avoid people, my favourite time was during sunrise on a hot day. The sun's not high enough to cause glare and there's nobody else around, the cold morning wind feels so nice in the heat, and if there's a morning overcast and the lamps are still on it creates a very surreal effect. I've gotten no exercise done in weeks because I havn't been awake during the times nobody else is about, my sleeping pattern alternates wildly.

It depends on my mood. If I don't feel like talking to anyone, I listen to my iPod.
I also love walking in the woods. It's very peaceful.

There's a duck pond that I like to walk to. There aren't many people around there. I can enjoy my own company, and not worry about having to be polite when somebody says, "Good morning...how are you, today?" I can't pretty well sneer, "I'm unemployed, my family doesn't understand me, and I need to wear diapers for medical reasons, and nobody understands my accent when I'm on the phone!" That's why I'm grateful that there is a secluded area that I can walk to.

I relate to all of you here on wanting to be unnoticed on walks. I hate it when I get caught off guard by a strangers innocent comment & I reply with something completely stupid. Then I kick myself for the rest of the day for not coming up with something better in that moment, then I kick myself even more for not being more invisible.