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livingwithautism
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22 Dec 2019, 2:49 pm

How do you deal with surprises from Christmas presents you didn't expect? I usually scream or throw the present back at the person and go to my room. Not a good reaction.



Joe90
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22 Dec 2019, 4:15 pm

I've heard a lot of Aspies dislike surprises as presents, but I love surprises.


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livingwithautism
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22 Dec 2019, 5:37 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I've heard a lot of Aspies dislike surprises as presents, but I love surprises.


I’m not an Aspie.



darkwaver
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22 Dec 2019, 6:11 pm

I think of it this way: the present is not important. The fact that someone took the trouble to get me something is what's important, because it means that person cares about me.

Even if the present is something I don't like, I thank the person who gave it because that's the polite thing to do.



Joe90
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22 Dec 2019, 6:23 pm

livingwithautism wrote:
How do you deal with surprises from Christmas presents you didn't expect? I usually scream or throw the present back at the person and go to my room. Not a good reaction.


It says on your profile you have some other autism spectrum disorder. What ASD do you have, if you don't mind me asking?


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livingwithautism
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22 Dec 2019, 7:17 pm

Joe90 wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
How do you deal with surprises from Christmas presents you didn't expect? I usually scream or throw the present back at the person and go to my room. Not a good reaction.


It says on your profile you have some other autism spectrum disorder. What ASD do you have, if you don't mind me asking?


I have moderate classic autism.



Fireblossom
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22 Dec 2019, 10:33 pm

I don't have trouble with Christmas presents; if I don't like what I get and it would take up too much space, I can just give it away later.



EzraS
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22 Dec 2019, 11:32 pm

All I get are gift cards and treats. Probably because my past reactions to presents has mostly been a what the hell is this and why did you give it to me look coupled with anxiety stimming.



Dear_one
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23 Dec 2019, 2:16 am

I was pretty happy about them as a kid. The last time I "did Christmas" I could tell that we were struggling to think of stuff that might be worth keeping, so it was a waste of money. The gifts and givers I remember are those I really needed, and keep using.
Maybe the way to deal with the surprise is to think of it as a random box found somewhere, that you just need to label. You can deal with it later. A lot of gifts get passed on when the time allows politeness, wandering around until they find the right owner.



Joe90
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23 Dec 2019, 5:37 am

livingwithautism wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
How do you deal with surprises from Christmas presents you didn't expect? I usually scream or throw the present back at the person and go to my room. Not a good reaction.


It says on your profile you have some other autism spectrum disorder. What ASD do you have, if you don't mind me asking?


I have moderate classic autism.


I refer all people on the spectrum as Aspies.


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EzraS
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23 Dec 2019, 8:03 am

Joe90 wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
How do you deal with surprises from Christmas presents you didn't expect? I usually scream or throw the present back at the person and go to my room. Not a good reaction.


It says on your profile you have some other autism spectrum disorder. What ASD do you have, if you don't mind me asking?


I have moderate classic autism.


I refer all people on the spectrum as Aspies.


I would have said I'm not an aspie too. I also have moderate classic autism. There are many things aspies deal with that I don't and vice versa. Not that I am offended in any way. It's just to me there is a distinct difference.



TwilightPrincess
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23 Dec 2019, 8:13 am

I find getting presents stressful because I have to be prepared to react politely if I don’t like it.

I don’t get presents from people other than my parents very often and they know what I like (usually), so it’s not too much of a problem. They often ask me what I want which is good!

At my high school graduation party, I received some bizarre gifts (probably regifted) that I had to open in front of a lot of people. It was dreadful.


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Lukario
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23 Dec 2019, 8:22 am

I don't care too much about what I get right now.



Dear_one
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23 Dec 2019, 8:40 am

I understand that there are seven ways to say "Thank you" in Japanese. They all translate to different degrees of resentment over the obligation to return the favour.
The term "White Elephant" comes from a tactic of, IIRC, a Siamese King. If he wished to bankrupt a Baron, he gave him a rare albino elephant. The guy couldn't re-gift a gift from the King, and the upkeep was ruinous. I don't know what the Elephant thought about it all.
Perhaps a good tactic would be to make no secret about passing on most gifts to a charity - you are just collecting for them, for a small commission.



shortfatbalduglyman
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23 Dec 2019, 9:21 am

Usually nobody gives me presents and vice versa.

You don't have to open it in front of them

You could just say "no thank you"



livingwithautism
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23 Dec 2019, 11:33 am

EzraS wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
How do you deal with surprises from Christmas presents you didn't expect? I usually scream or throw the present back at the person and go to my room. Not a good reaction.


It says on your profile you have some other autism spectrum disorder. What ASD do you have, if you don't mind me asking?


I have moderate classic autism.


I refer all people on the spectrum as Aspies.


I would have said I'm not an aspie too. I also have moderate classic autism. There are many things aspies deal with that I don't and vice versa. Not that I am offended in any way. It's just to me there is a distinct difference.


Yes.