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Greentea
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28 Sep 2007, 3:14 pm

A conversation with an NT is often them discoursing about how marvellous they are and me nodding with a half smile and getting bored to tears.

I haven't seen such behavior on WP, so I was wondering.


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Sedaka
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28 Sep 2007, 3:18 pm

im lost


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RaoulDuke
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28 Sep 2007, 3:22 pm

Self-aggrandisement is an important part of winning others' favor, and as such, NTs usually focus on that. After all, nobody else is going to tell everyone who good they are.

You must realize, most NTs are concerned with winning the favor of their peers, so this behavior should be expected. In contrast, most Aspies are not nearly as concerned with this, and to double that, they are much more modest, and less prone to inflating the truth to make themselves look better.

However, everyone has an ego, and an ego needs to be fed. So, one must often feed themselves to survive. That's another way of looking at it, I think.



edal
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28 Sep 2007, 3:44 pm

Because we already know that we're better than them?

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28 Sep 2007, 5:31 pm

It's probably related to the tendency us aspies have of not telling lies.

edal wrote:
Because we already know that we're better than them?

Perhaps that too.


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EvilKimEvil
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28 Sep 2007, 6:02 pm

I think that there's also a different in what is considered boasting. With NTs, it seems like most statements are interpreted as either positive or negative and everything is related to social status. For example, if an NT said, "I have four guitars," to them that would mean, "I am important and possibly better than you because I have four guitars," whereas to me it would mean nothing more than the obvious. Or if you say you're not good at something, that's interpreted as a statement of low self-worth and a negative attitude. If I say I'm not good at something, I mean it literally and neutrally. So I think it's related to several things:
1) the tendency not to lie
2) the tendency to interpret things literally and miss underlying social meanings
3) the tendency to stay out of competetive social games



Hadron
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28 Sep 2007, 6:03 pm

Quite a fair few members on WP have nothing to boast about?



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28 Sep 2007, 6:12 pm

Boasting draws attention to yourself. Aspergerians avoid it.


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chriscross1966
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28 Sep 2007, 6:27 pm

Also it helps to have some inflection in your voice.... hard to boast in a monotone...

chrisc



bobert
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28 Sep 2007, 6:29 pm

I try not to boast, because it creates expectations that I can't live up to. In fact, it's better when people underestimate me, it frees me up to be my erratic self.



Macbeth
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28 Sep 2007, 6:48 pm

No boasting? Read my quotes :) How big-headed could you possibly get?

Is there a difference between boasting and telling the straight truth? I think thats where the difference falls. Given the general level of intelligence on here, and our aspie natures, if someone says something that could be construed as boasting. ("I can program with my eyes closed/I read Tolstoy in the original russian for kicks" or whatever) we all assume its probably true, because we all do things like that. We know its possible.

Not to mention its the internet. Whenever anyone claims anything that sounds boastful (I can bench my dads car, I was a CIA assassin and can kill you with your shoes, etc.) everyone already knows its probably bollocks.

Catch is.. Everyone on the net has a nine inch *ahem*.. but some people actually DO. So when you do, no-one believes it because.. you see where I'm going.

The most obvious one that doesnt involve genitalia is Compton.. if everyone on the net who claimed they were a gangbanger from Compton actually WAS.. then Compton would be the size of London and New York together. Sad fact is, some eople DO live in Compton.. but we will never believe them.


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28 Sep 2007, 6:48 pm

I can be somewhat boastful around my older brother occasionally; but only because I've always sought his approval in order to receive his acceptance (all the way back to when we were little).

Otherwise I keep my yap shut about everything, and try to demonstrate through creative achievement how f*****g great I am.Image


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28 Sep 2007, 6:49 pm

bobert wrote:
I try not to boast, because it creates expectations that I can't live up to. In fact, it's better when people underestimate me, it frees me up to be my erratic self.


I agree with this.


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marshall
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28 Sep 2007, 7:19 pm

I'm too modest compared to most NT's. I hate having to "play myself up". I get annoyed when my dad tells people how smart I am in front of people. He goes and tells people I have a 4.0 GPA when it's actually like 3.85. I guess I appreciate it, but it's also kind of embarrassing. I'd rather just tell the truth since GPA doesn't mean that much to me anyways. I'm hardly competitive when it comes to academics and work. I do well when I enjoy what I am doing and I also tend to be a perfectionist. I don't do well to impress people.

The only time I act competative is when it's just fun and games like pwning someone in a video game. :) I'm not competative about real life. I really don't really care if someone is smarter than me or makes more money than me. I'm more interested in having a fulfilling life than impressing people.



9CatMom
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28 Sep 2007, 8:53 pm

We have to work much harder at some things others take for granted.



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28 Sep 2007, 9:25 pm

I don't boast because I get nothing out of impressing the type of people who gets impressed by the "accomplishments" of others. (I'm not a world-class anything, so what's there to boast about, anyway?) And if I have a lapse of judgment and accidentally boast about my triumphs and impress someone with that boasting, I believe their reaction only shows their ignorance and immaturity of thought, which would immediately turn me off and discourage me from continuing to seek their company.



Last edited by Mw99 on 28 Sep 2007, 9:34 pm, edited 3 times in total.