Did you learn...

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about the existance of body language from a book, or books?

I learned about body language just by people using the term "body language"... and I was able to pick up the rest my self. But still the general concept of saying one thing and meaning another, is still quite foreign to me. I can understand when people I know use body language, and some of the more common types of body language... but then sometimes I know body language is being used but I don't know what they are trying to say through it.

It kind of makes me angry to think that even though I am trying to say exactly what I mean, other people can interprete different things just by how I "look" and not the words I am using. That there is something more to communication than just talking, and all these body language things are expected of me... even when I don't know that they exist.

I know that when I am hanging in a chair people think I am bored and tell me so.

I´m not bored when I am hanging in a chair. That´s the way I like to sit. I´m not going to sit straight, because people otherwise think I´m bored.

My first lesson, or first awarness of/in body language happened right near the end of 4th grade in the spring of 1990.

We were being lectured about interpersonal communication skills. The guy talking said...

This is yet another area where (for me) there is a difference between "developmentally delayed" and "incapable". I think I have always been aware if the existance of body language and easily learned the ones to which I was most exposed (such as the "come here" wave and the "good bye" wave). I can also easily understand strong facial expressions. My problem is the less common gestures, more subtle facial expressions, and body language that occurs out of context.

I was fascinated by the TV series that Desmond Morris did back in 1980 that explained the origins and meaning of body language, and learned most of my current understanding of the topic from those shows. He did a great job of explaining contrary gestures like talking to someone with your arms folded in front of your body (the conversation is inviting or engaging but the body language says "go away"). I wasn't aware of autism back then and AS wasn't a known diagnosis, but a lot of the information was news to me so I just soaked up the facts like I would from any other science show on TV. I'm much better at interpreting people now than I was when I was younger, but my own body language is still a challenge that requires more self-monitoring than I would like. I don't waste time thinking "I need to add some body language to my conversation" and producing forced gestures -- it's more a matter of trying to observe myself and stopping myself from doing things that detract from the socialization.

I got rather extensive training in this stuff from my deaf/orally speaking school from a early age, so I am pretty good with this stuff for the most part. Like jetson said, I also have problems with the really stuble stuff; some persons don't use their mouths to express emotions and stick with their eyes for that. Sometimes I can't do it fast enough to keep the flow of conversation up, but sometimes I do.

Recently, I have been paying much more attention to body postures and it is quite facisnating. I'm still working on that.

I learned about it at a drama camp I went to when I was 12. I really didn't understand, it was never explined. I don't think I'll ever quite understand any of it very well. I can tell when someone's sad, because that's usually obvious. Out side of that, body language is something I ignore simply because I don't understand it.

No. I think I've been aware of the basics of it for a nomral amount of time; but I think I may have learned the actual term when I watched The Little Mermaid as a kid.

Yes, I heard it from other people also and just put 12,953.403589 and 53,748.9874302348 together. Simple. Body language.

I guess that was a troll to find out who among us has an OCD response to pointless math questions?

Like putting 2 plus 2 together but harder...

66702.3910192348

Still does not make any sense (and yes, I pressed the 'calculate' button on the keyboard to do it in windows as I don't have a pen and pad near me).

I put 'learned from book', but that is not wholly true - I was referred to a book, skimmed some of it, quickly got bored and have now probably forgotten most of it.

I can obviously recognise the 'obvious' ones, but subtle emotions are impossible to recognise and I think this is the case for a lot of people, whether or not they are AS/ASD, think they might be AS/ASD or who categorically think they are not AS/ASD. It is subjective perception, after all, so is it surprising that there are breakdowns in communication?

I was going to ask you if you used a calculator.



I found a book when I was about 17 (31 years ago), walking around a Waldensbooks in the mall. I skimmed through it a little, looked at some of the pictures and read the captions and put it down. I still recall those pictures from memory when I am around people.



I notice the extremely obvious as well, but don't always understand the how's and why's. For instance, if I notice a woman in a room has her body turned towards someone else, I can reference the images in my memory from that book and recall that it means that the woman is probably interested in the other person, but I don't know how the woman may be interested in that person, or why. I often take it personally once I realize that the woman has positioned herself in such a manner and I have recalled the information that help me determine what her position means. I used to obsess over observing people and recalling those images, but because I didn't examine the entire book and store every form of body language that it covered in memory, I often get stuck if something is very obvious and I probably don't even notice many other things.

I also read something more recently about the postures that people take that are supposed to signify weakness, or authority, but it makes no sense to me.

I learned from a book. By age 10 I knew something was different about me and I read a lot of psychology books and magazines. That's where I found the book. I also learned about voice tone and facial expression from books.

IT DIDN'T HELP!

Everytime I try to talk to someone about what their body language/expression has communicated to me, I'm told I'm wrong. Part of it is you're not supposed to talk about it. And the other part is you're not supposed to respond with analysis - you're supposed to respond with emotion/body language/NT style communication.

Voice tone is worse. The people I have talked to, when I ask if they meant this or that by their tone, always say no. What is up with that? I can't be 100% wrong.

ARGH!

This is why I am skeptical about books that purport to teach NDs the basics of NT communication.