Autism and the family unit (not for the faint of mind/heart)

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I've been thinking about where the social misfunctions of Aspergers have their beginnings and I've come to some sad conclusions.

It used to be said autism came from having cold mothers. I'm beginning to believe that it's the other way around. I believe that we as humans are programmed to want genetically healthy babies and when someone gives birth to an autistic child, the natural desire to nurture and accept said child is cut off. Hence, as the child developmentally goes through life disconnected from any true parental love and kindship, the child then develops several and lasting emotional and social insecuties and vacancies that have tramatic effects thourgh said person's life.

I love my aspy kid and my autistic daughter a whole lot and was never cold to them. I've always had a lot of animals and learned accept them on their own terms and enjoy them as the individuals that they are. Maybe it was good practiice for beccming a mother of people along the autism spectrum.

That being said, my own parents didn't love my siblings and me. My dogs were the role models where I learned about love,

Autism isn't detectable until at least 18 months, and Asperger's usually isn't diagnosed until school-age, so I don't think it would even be possible for a mother to reject her autistic child at birth. I also don't think autism is "genetic unhealthiness", just genetic difference. I do think that having an accepting, well-adjusted relationship with one's parents gives any child more confidence, and thus increases their ability to cope with the environment. However, I think any parent who would reject their child on the basis of autistic traits probably would be a shallow, self-centered parent to NT children as well.

My parents were extremely nurturing to me, and just accepted my quirks for what they were. If anything, I may have gotten more nurturing than my NT sister, just because I was born 22 months beforehand.

Sorry, but that sounds like a bunch of crap to me. My mother did reject me, because she has mental issues that prevent her from being effective at most things, but your hypothesis falls to the floor for this household. Our children are very loved, very accepted, very supported. Still autistic.

If your just having a down day or venting Im sorry

However by your theory, most if not all babies/kids dumped or orphaned would become autistic, because they had been cut off from their parental love. Or have I just messed that all up lol.

Ha Im a very silly mum cause I didnt think there was a thing wrong with my child until kindergarten and other kids were on the scene, then I thought they had the problems. Its taken me a while to catch on lol. Im often told I over mother my child, said child is being evaluated to see where he fits of the spectrum, said child already diagnosed with adhd.

I can see how the theory might be something to consider... Except that the evidence seems to me to contradict it.

There is of course the natural order of things where an animal might abandon her offspring if she senses something wron with it. But from what I see here, this is not the case with Asperger's.

There are quite a number of us who have had very poor upbringings and some of us have terrible relationships with our mothers, but most of the time this seems to be a pre-existing condition from before we were born.

However, Aspies are not exclusively the offspring of bad mothers. Some of us have very good, warm and nurturing parents.

Interesting idea though.

I have heard of this theory. All I can say, is in my own experience, my mother had mental issues, leading me to feel unloved, uncared for, and unprotected. One of her issues was extreme narcissism. On the other hand, I loved my only child intensely, and tried my utmost to be a good parent. Both I and my child have AS.

Ummmm, no, I don't agree.

I didn't exhibit any AS or autistic behavior until High School. In any event my mother was the person who supplied (slight amounts) of affection but my father was the cold one. I certainly wasn't abandoned but I'm quite sure that my parents had no idea of how to cope with three children, especially when two of them had various problems throughout their lives. If it wasn't for their religious views and the support that it gave them things could have turned out different.

Ed Almos

It's funny you should say that, because my mother is the most loving and caring person in my life, and yet I've been diagnosed with Asperger's by three separate doctors.

My parents loved me lots, but a lot of my role models were cold people or people who had no emotions. I would say that I developed it consciously, not realizing it was going to be a problem to society. I accept that though, if that made me develop AS; that's just who I am.

The only other feelings I've had were being a robot and feeling as though I really was an alien. It didn't bother me though. At least if they were true, it would mean I really would be unique.

I had certain behaviors that must have alienated a lot of people. However, my family, especially my mother, never gave up on me. If not for her and my pets, I don't think I'd be here today.