Have you been afraid to tell people you love them?

Post Reply New Topic

I cried for hours many times when I was a kid, and when my parents asked me what wass wrong I couldn't tell them, because I was too embarrassed. The problem was that I was too embarrassed to tell them that I loved them.


I remember once when I was about 8, and me and my mom were walking home one night from girl guides, and I got this enormous surge of love for her, and I got so sad, and wished I had a "mummy doll", something to keep forever to remind me of her. I know, thatt's seriously wierd. Having her should be enough. I think it was because I only wanted to remember the good parts of her when I was separated from her, not the angry intimidating parts.


I also cried and got so sad after I came home from my dad's apartment once... he let me stay the night even though he had to go to work early the next morning and it was too late for us to walk back to my mother's place so he called a taxi and we went back to my mother's that way... he came into m ybedroom, told me to go back to sleep, picked up my two precious stuffed bears and made little bear-sounds with them-- bear sounds I loved, he did them in such a sweet way-- as if they were going to sleep too... after he left I was so sad, I cried, I already missed my beloved sweet ddaddy. Even though I knew he was cokming back. IO was so scared that he would die or something. I qwas 11, and the depression was getting worse. I was pretty okay until puberty. Then I got so sad and then when I was 17 to when I was 19 I was happy,. and I'm still 19, and sudeenly I'm so so so unbelievably depressed... not right at this moment, thank God, but... anyway...

Yes, I am guilty of this! haha... I don't use those words unless I really mean them, so the only person who heard it really was my brother and he got killed 7years ago... My boyfriend knows though that its the littlest things that make me show that I do care about him, even though I really still haven't said those 3 words to him, after almost 2 years of dating !

_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

Me too; username88 and I know we love each other... I'd only say them if it was appropriate; otherwise it would be tacky, excessive, fake. unnecessary.

I get very embarassed before I say it to anyone, so I try to make a point of saying it as a reply whenever someone I love tells me that they love me. That way it cuts down on my anxiety and increases the amount of times I say it. I think my parents understand, but my ex girlfriend was a bit weirded out by it. She would say things like "You don't have to say it back to me every time," or "You should only say it when you feel it." This would embarass me more. She was very much in denial and/or refusing to consider anything about my likely autism and still is.

I say a definite yes to that. There was a girl that I had a crush on in high school, but I was too afraid to ask her out. Plus, we were always going in separate directions to class.

Yes i have been afraid to tell someone that i love them i will be seeing this person tomorrow only time in the week i do so might tell them then.

Totally.
It always feels forced and I can never inject meaning into it when I have to say 'I love you too' when my mother says she loves me, and in truth I don't seem to feel it when I say it as it is being forced suddenly and what can you do? Can hardly say 'Sorry, I don't feel like saying that right now as Im not feeling love currently'

I seem to block up inside when I try and say those words, and typing them is just as much an ordeal for me, but I don't know if this is an aspie issue or an issue that comes from past emotional vulnerability being taken advantage of.

I don't think that I've had any trouble telling people that I love them. I've always been a very affectionate person.

I can't say it at all, to my parents, or anyone else. I've never had a boyfriend so I don't know if I could say it to someone I was in a relationship with. It embarrasses me, mostly because I hate feeling like people know what I'm thinking or what's making me say or do something, and I know they'd read into my awkwardness and think about it. This is weird, but I just don't like thinking about other people thinking about my thoughts haha if that makes sense.

I can say it comfortably to my husband now, but it was really hard the first few years. It also can be hard for me with my older kids. The babies are easier, but they are just babies. The older kids are hard. My other family members, even in response to their "I love you", I get shaky and weak. If they are outside my immediate family, it is very hard, if not impossible. I completely understand.

I know how this feels... I have not been able to say those *three little words* since I was 14 (although usage dropped off after age ...

At 14, between middle and high school, was the first time I had experienced romantic feelings in my life. Owing to my AS, my bumbling attempt led to prompt rejection. Also owing to my AS, the obsession factor meant I couldn't let it go. Because of this one girl, I had basically raised defenses against ALL girls.. At times I may have acted like I was interested, only to turn around and act like an a**hole to them because I "only had feelings for her", to the exclusion of every other possibility (talk about narrowing your horizons...).

That was a major point in my life, basically marking the end of the naive child who was easily deceived and bullied, replaced by a depressed teenager who didn't trust anyone about anything, and was more often than not the perpetrator; I had been called down to the office many times for stuff that I could have gotten arrested and charged with assault & battery for...

A later major turning point (ironically, involving the same woman I was talking about earlier) marked my becoming an independent adult, capable of thinking independently, knowing that other people were more than they appeared superficially, and at least not rejecting people at first glance (although I'm still wary of people I don't know...) As for the original question, I have not felt the feeling of love (of any kind) since the second "turning point" I mentioned, and I doubt that I will for some time, despite the fact that I would give nearly anything of myself to be able to feel that feeling again, and even more to have that feeling returned to me...

My mother always says that after "Good Bye", I usually respond along the lines of "hm-hm-hm", i.e. something muffled, supressed and unintelligible.
I don't much speak of feelings. Especially in a care-free manner. It's a bit easier to write, but I often tend to circumvent the subject.

I was thoroughly infatuated with a girl in the sixth grade — so much so that I was positively convinced that I loved her; so on the last day of school before Christmas break I handed her a letter detailing my feelings for her, and walked away without looking back. It was the only way that I could go about it (she turned me down, btw.), because I absolutely could not say it to her; I don't believe that I've ever spoken those three words out loud to anybody before in my entire life.

love is overrated.
but seriously i dont think ive ever been afraid of telling someone i love them, people these days throw the word around to much. i only love my sportscards, rocks and god. there the only ones who have never left me, and basically i can count on. even if i dont see or hear god thats ok because i know hes there

I used to tell my parents I loved them when I was little, but by the time I was like 8-9 not only did I stop saying 'I love you' but also stopped showing it, i hate hugs and the like...

I have not said 'I love you' in a decade and a half. My GF wants me to express myself more, and so I called her and said "i like you' and went on and on about the future and how I want to have a family and provide ect... she is still waiting for 'I love you'

I feel embarrased (HFA/Aspie trait apparently??) to say it. I really think phycologysts and the like should read what is on boards like these, they can learn much about the way we think/function.

You wont see half of what is written on here in books about the subject.