Facial Expressions Take So Much Effort. What about you?

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GattinoDiCecchino
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07 Nov 2007, 5:55 pm

People are constantly telling me that I always look bored. The only thing is, I'm actually NOT bored. The facial expressions that NTs use on a day-to-day basis feel so awkward for me. My real smile doesn't even look like an actual smile unless I totally stretch my face and contort it. LOL

Facial body language just feels *so* fake, dramatic and over-the-top when I use it, but then I look in the mirror, and I actually look like an NT!

I think I'm just hypersensitive to every little twitch and movement in my face.

Is this an Aspie thing or is this just me being an oddball? :lol: I also rarely laugh out loud. I do this weird silent laugh thing with my unsmiley smile, and it just looks like I'm smirking but my body is shaking from laughing. Weird... :lol: :lol: :lol:

And from inside my head, my voice sounds expressive, but when I listen to what I sound like on tape, I sound monotone!



beau99
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07 Nov 2007, 6:03 pm

It's not just you.



IdahoRose
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07 Nov 2007, 6:04 pm

I know how you feel. My mom continually asks if I'm okay because I hardly ever smile. The thing is, I'm usually pretty content - I just don't like the sensation of making myself smile when I genuinely don't feel that way.



Icarus_Falling
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07 Nov 2007, 6:55 pm

I was at a team morale event this morning, and someone was taking pictures. I was sitting and chatting with one of my teammates, and the person with the camera comes up to take our picture. I just sort of looked in the direction of the camera with a reserved, thoughtful look on my face, which got me a "Come on Ryan, smile!" To which I responded, "I'm not sure how." Everyone thought I was joking; I was not.

I can twist my mouth into a smile, but it looks so fake if I'm not really smiling about something (and I do smile when I have things to smile about). Given a choice between a goofy looking fake smile, and my normal reserved, thoughtful look, I chose the later. Besides... I'm an old-school kinda guy; I hearken back to a time when it was not customary to smile in photos; I wanna find whoever started that silliness and slap him. I'm actually smirking in my avatar pic; can you tell?

Also, I have this interesting mannerism that has caused me some fun times... The look I get on my face when I'm concentrating and thinking about something very hard - is the exact same look I get when I'm really annoyed. It has a lot to do with furrowing my brow I think.

Most of my own "facial" expressions are expressed through my eyes; very few are those who are able to read me well by my facial expression.

Good fortune,

- Icarus smiles with his eyes...


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marcus
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07 Nov 2007, 7:17 pm

I'm sometimes accused of staring at people. Really, I'm just trying to decipher what's going with their face. Obviously I know happy and sad( or I think I do), but it's all the hundreds of expressions in between that have me stumped. I think when I'm staring I'm just going through my memory bank for a match to an emotion. Unfortunately my memory bank is low on funds.


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Liverbird
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07 Nov 2007, 7:22 pm

I'm constantly being accused of looking pissed off. I'm generally not, it's just that I'm usually concentrating on something and I think it makes my brow furrow and my mouth turn down. I have a hard time taking pictures too. Digital cameras tend to have some delay to them and I always feel like I need to freeze my face into something that I think looks like a smile, but on film looks like some demented woman trying to suppress evil thoughts.


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bjorker
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07 Nov 2007, 7:43 pm

I have kind of the opposite problem. I am constantly making facial expressions that people are always interpreting wrong. I don't really seem to have good control over it. It just happens.



richardbenson
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07 Nov 2007, 7:50 pm

listen up. i get into the same situations as you. eventually people will get that whatever they say to you has no freaking effect on you at all! and will leave you alone. :D



SKOREAPV83
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07 Nov 2007, 7:53 pm

Sometimes my facial expressions match my emotional state, sometimes they don't. It's all part of having AS. Now when other people sign to me, I tend to understand their facial expressions better, but when other people speak to me, I totally ignore their facial expressions & only pay attention to their words. That's called having an auditory-visual sensory disintegration. When speaking, I rarely add facial expressions to what I have to say. But when signing, I always add 'em in, except when signing to the Deaf-Blind, since they can't see 'em.



Selo
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07 Nov 2007, 8:16 pm

Oh, no, I find facial expressions easy. They come naturally.

Though I don't tend to smile in photographs, but that's personal preference because I don't photograph well.



amhealy
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07 Nov 2007, 8:25 pm

From the time I was a kid until a few years ago, I was frequently told that I should smile more, that I looked too serious or mad about something. But like someone else stated, when I am in thought, I guess I look upset or something.

A few years ago I got tired of hearing how I always look like I am mad about something. So I started practicing smiling. If you concentrate on pulling the corners of your mouth up, and if you keep you eyes open wide, you look like you are happy.

I can't believe how many people smile at me when they see me looking like I'm smiling. It's almost like they can't help it.

Or, maybe they can't help laughing at the goofy expression I have on my face that I think looks like a smile. :-S


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MysteryFan3
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07 Nov 2007, 9:35 pm

Liverbird wrote:
I'm constantly being accused of looking pissed off. I'm generally not, it's just that I'm usually concentrating on something and I think it makes my brow furrow and my mouth turn down. I have a hard time taking pictures too. Digital cameras tend to have some delay to them and I always feel like I need to freeze my face into something that I think looks like a smile, but on film looks like some demented woman trying to suppress evil thoughts.


I get that, too. I'm not pissed off until some nimrod interrupts my train of thought to tell me that. :D


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polyrhythmia
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08 Nov 2007, 12:05 am

GattinoDiCecchino wrote:
People are constantly telling me that I always look bored. The only thing is, I'm actually NOT bored. The facial expressions that NTs use on a day-to-day basis feel so awkward for me. My real smile doesn't even look like an actual smile unless I totally stretch my face and contort it. LOL

Facial body language just feels *so* fake, dramatic and over-the-top when I use it, but then I look in the mirror, and I actually look like an NT!

I think I'm just hypersensitive to every little twitch and movement in my face.

Is this an Aspie thing or is this just me being an oddball? :lol: I also rarely laugh out loud. I do this weird silent laugh thing with my unsmiley smile, and it just looks like I'm smirking but my body is shaking from laughing. Weird... :lol: :lol: :lol:

And from inside my head, my voice sounds expressive, but when I listen to what I sound like on tape, I sound monotone!



Nope, it's not just you. I can feel like I'm smiling, but then look in the mirror and see nothing of the sort. I can say the same is true with my voice. It doesn't sound monotone to me, but people when they are honest will admit I have limited intonation. I am 47 years old and still don't have the smile lines (or naso-labial furrows) that most everyone has by age 30. In an article I read about autism, it was found in one autistic female's brain that the facial nucleus was much smaller than typical. To try to consciously do facial expressions is an exercise in futility.



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08 Nov 2007, 3:43 am

Sometimes people tell me I look bored though really I'm not. Or I forget to smile at people. But otherwise I think I'm pretty good at faking facial expressions, especially smiles. There's nothing wrong with that, NTs fake smiles all the time. Have you ever wondered what percentage of smiles used in everyday life is truly genuine?



jazzguy
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08 Nov 2007, 4:20 am

Eller wrote:
Sometimes people tell me I look bored though really I'm not. Or I forget to smile at people. But otherwise I think I'm pretty good at faking facial expressions, especially smiles. There's nothing wrong with that, NTs fake smiles all the time. Have you ever wondered what percentage of smiles used in everyday life is truly genuine?


All of my smiles are genuine. And it feels good to smile. It would be nice if there was more in this life to smile about.


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Eller
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08 Nov 2007, 4:29 am

jazzguy wrote:
All of my smiles are genuine. And it feels good to smile. It would be nice if there was more in this life to smile about.


I think there'd be enough to smile about. I like my life. But smiling is simply not natural for me. The same's true about other facial expressions. My expression doesn't change unless I try consciously.