Asperger's Syndrome: Just Different or Fundamentally Better?

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I don't want to give anyone a superiority complex or provide fuel for a burning narcissistic personality disorder; but maybe we aspies aren't just different, after all. Unlike autism, Asperger's syndrome has normal to superior intelligence, which immediately puts us at least on par with NeuroTypicality on intelligence. Normal acquisition of self-help skills and language faculties means we are also at least as good as NT.

NeuroTypicals are interested to no end with trivial concerns: sports, celebrities, social standing and conformity, and ostracizing those who are different. An NT will drink themselves delirious, forget what they did, and assume they had a good time. Male NTs attempt relationships for sex and for standing among their peers, and female NTs also try to gain status by getting the most wanted guy. All kinds of pettiness ensues from these sorts of relationships. Among NTs, arrogance and emotional neglect are prized as signs of maturity and stability. Any signs of intelligence, creativity, compassion, or independent thinking are taken as dangerous signs of geekiness, emotional unstability, wimpiness, social nonconformity, or other undesirable traits.

We are not only intelligent but also particularly skilled at analytical reasoning, verbal-sequential thinking, and systemizing and ordering information. We have a high degree of social independence that the stereotypical individualist NT could never even dream of. We have no fear of violating supposed social rules that would compel us to defer to our bosses, allow fiascos to simmer, permit double standards, and generally allow someone else to interpret things to their advantage. If our boss has made an egregious factual error, we do not see it as out of our place to correct him. We are not afraid to express our opinions, and we do not maintain the boastful pride that would prevent us from admitting our mistakes just as easily.

We are willing to show our compassion for others and do not worry about whether we might be viewed as too sensitive. We will defy all such stereotypes that would box us in. We are secure in our knowledge that our judgment is accurate and our perception is sharp. We leave the boxes for those who would categorize us away and let them baffle at the contradictions they perceive. We care for everyone and prefer not to descend to petty discord, knowing everyone has their own opinions, preferences, and experiences.

yes, good points. however, not every aspie is able to do all of these things, and certainly not to the same degree, so i feel it's unwise to generalise.

and if it IS such a great thing to have AS, how come this board (and others) has an awful lot of people who are distressed about what they CAN't do, or things they find really difficult, which other people take for granted (whether these others are NT or have AS - i know that i don't relate to an awful lot of what's said here, as i don't particularly have difficulties with the subjects. but then, i am a lot older than most here, and so have developed strategies to manage or DO certain things which don't come naturally to me)?

i'm not being negative, just trying to be realistic. and i think "better than" is a dangerous concept - how many times have people here been subjected to that sort of thing?

i am who i am, and i do see that AS brings with it some amazing traits, which i wouldn't swap for the world. and it brings difficulties which can bring me to despair, at times. it's a package, and i feel the best way for me to work with it is to accept it, both the bits i love and the bits i loathe. i don't feel the urge to compensate for the difficulties either by being derogatory or dismissive about "NT" behaviour which i find it hard to understand (or do), or by saying that i'm part of a super race (which is definitely more than dodgy, given the Nazi connotations). i'd rather use my energy for working with the things i find difficult than expending it on sneering at things i can't - or find very difficult - to do.

and i'm NOT suggesting that neanthumain does or is any of the negative things i've described above, by the way - he always posts intelligent and well-thought out arguments and suggestions for debate (even if i don't agree with them ), of the "what do you think of this?" style, rather than the soap box one. so thanks for another thought-provoking post, neanthumain

How do you know these things you say you have developed strategies for don't come naturally to you? I am curious about this.

I personally see nothing wrong in people discussing their difficulties. Just because people discuss them does not mean they are distressed about them. Perhaps they are simply comparing notes, or trying to learn more, or find others that can relate to some of the "despair" that you mentioned. I find this interesting. You say you don't relate to a lot of things that others discuss (pertaining to difficulties), yet you indicate some sort of understanding of the diffculties and "despair" associated with AS. Are the difficulties you have had different than the ones that are being discussed by Aspies that chose to discuss them openly? If not, then why do you have trouble relating to them? If so, then please elaborate, you may find that perhaps they are not so different and simply haven't been discussed as of yet. Also, if you do not share these difficulties then how have you developed strategies to manage, or do them? Don't you understand that many poeople with AS are not ABLE to manage, or do these things, much less develop strategies for that? Do you think that those who have meltdowns can actually throw a switch in their brains to stop it from happening?

Sometimes it is helpful for people to talk about things that they are having trouble with, whether they are distressed, or not. Where else can those of us who chose to be open about all aspects of our lives go and be comfortable. Don't try to rob me of my comfort here because you can't relate to some of the things I have in common with many others. I have no problem discussing my difficulties and because I do does not mean I am distressed about them. I just take comfort in knowing that there are others out there that CAN relate to my experiences. I am sure others feel this way as well. I also discuss other things when the opportunity arises, as do others. I have not discussed (in public) many of the abilities that I have for several reasons. For me it is a no win situation. If I talk about my difficulties, someone will criticize me for that. If I talk about my abilities someone will accuse me of bragging because no one (as of yet) will really be able to understand what I am talking about. If I find a topic I can easily relate to and contribute to, or a post I need to reply to, then I do so, no matter what the subject is.

IRL, I focus on the positive and deal with the negative to the best of my ability. I do not think that being an Aspie in itself is the reason I have the abilities that I do. I could just as easily have been mentally ret*d, or blind and have the same, or even more profound abilities. I am grateful that I am what I am. In some ways my intelligence is far superior to many people, in some ways I am dumb as brick and half as charming. It all balances out in the end. Many NT's seem more intelligent than me in certain areas and I know I am more intelligent than many poeople in other areas. Who cares? A then end of the day, I still have to try to get some sleep and try to face the next day, like everyone else on this planet.

So you're also superior to people with plain old ordinary autism diagnoses then, because we don't necessarily have all those snazzy self-help skills and IQ points? Count me out of any elitist philosophy that determines "superiority" based on ability.

[quote="NeantHumain"]

NeuroTypicals are interested to no end with trivial concerns: sports, celebrities, social standing and conformity, and ostracizing those who are different. An NT will drink themselves delirious, forget what they did, and assume they had a good time. Male NTs attempt relationships for sex and for standing among their peers, and female NTs also try to gain status by getting the most wanted guy. All kinds of pettiness ensues from these sorts of relationships. Among NTs, arrogance and emotional neglect are prized as signs of maturity and stability. Any signs of intelligence, creativity, compassion, or independent thinking are taken as dangerous signs of geekiness, emotional unstability, wimpiness, social nonconformity, or other undesirable traits.

That's a rather broad brush to paint NTs with. For example, at my work place of appr 20 women, only two drink themself silly and behave at all like you have discribed. I doubt the other 90% are all aspies.

We are not only intelligent but also particularly skilled at analytical reasoning, verbal-sequential thinking, and systemizing and ordering information. We have a high degree of social independence that the stereotypical individualist NT could never even dream of. We have no fear of violating supposed social rules that would compel us to defer to our bosses, allow fiascos to simmer, permit double standards, and generally allow someone else to interpret things to their advantage. If our boss has made an egregious factual error, we do not see it as out of our place to correct him. We are not afraid to express our opinions, and we do not maintain the boastful pride that would prevent us from admitting our mistakes just as easily.

I am to assume all NTs do the opposite? If so, you are describing only a small percentage of the NTs I know.

Not all aspies are alike. Not all NTs are alike.

On a side note, once upon a time I worked with severly mentally handicapped adults. No self care, little interaction with others. Where do these people belong on your scale? I see them as human first and deserving of all the respect a human deserves, same as any NT or aspie I meet.

BeeBee

Asperger Syndrome has it's ups and downs. It's just Einstein's theory of relativity.

I've mentioned before the reason people with AS are often smarter. It's not so much they're born smarter, but because they're born thinking differently, from that different point of view you know lots of things most NT's don't know. But as time goes on, we have to learn from NT's, but because were in the minority, they don't have to learn from us. So add up what we know naturally with what we learn from NT's and you get smarter people.

Now ive heard it all.

Agreed. As far as I can tell, depth or shallowness and such is more to do with personality and life experience than whether a person is autistic or not. Being autistic isn't an automatic ticket to "depth" any more than being non-autistic is an automatic ticket ot "shallowness". (And even "shallow" people have more to them than they show. They just seem to usually be running away from that really fast.)



And plenty of autistic people (including those classified as aspies) aren't the way autistic people are described in the original post.



Exactly. This is why I have problems with this kind of superiority/inferiority talk.

Are you saying my post seemed silly in some way or another?

No i was commenting about the original post. Totally agree with BeeBee and anbuend as well. There are many NT's that are smarter and thicker than myself.

i agree with all the above posts, except for thatrsdude's last one (cos it isn't asked of me), and deepthought's.

deepthought - i fear i haven't explained myself properly, as i interpret your post as condemning me for something i didn't say, or at least, had no intention of saying. when i say i don't relate to some things people post, it's about stuff that doesn't happen to me, not that i'm dismissing them or don't understand why they are difficult. some of this is sheer age, i'm sure.

some of the strategies i was talking about were developed through not knowing WHY i was different, and never fitted in, and so i just thought i was "wrong" and tried to make myself fit in. some of them ARE learned behaviour, and i taught myself. i got things wrong, i suffered the consequences, and so i worked out how to do them "right". i spent 42 years learning them, and going through all sorts of horrors because i thought i was doing something wrong and it was my fault. quite frankly, i was relieved to find out it was due to AS, so it wasn't (and isn't) my fault. i envy the people on this board who were diagnosed or who found out they had AS at an early age - in some ways, life would have been a lot easier for me if i'd known earlier. but then, i'm a person who wants to find out "why?" so i can change things i am able to change, and work with what i can't, often to find ways round them. and that's what i've had to do, in the dark, for most of my life.

and i will still continue to learn about myself and my limitations, and my abilities, and learn how to work with the former and develop the latter.

i see nothing wrong in discussing difficulties, either. my whole point was that i still believe it's a little dangerous to turn AS into a superiority complex - "better than NTs". individuals are just that - individual. my point about "despair" is that claiming superiority, and then being distressed about - for example - lack of relationships in one's life, don't add up.

and i'm very wary of anyone who lumps all people on the autistic spectrum together - i'm not sure if i think AS should be separate (i don't know enough about the spectrum to have an informed opinion, as yet). but surely what's good for one person isn't necessarily good for all? and that's why i always make my statements about "me and AS" personal - it's about ME and AS. not you, not anyone else.

You haven't said why you disagree with me. I wasn't generalising, I was just saying why it was OFTEN (not always) the case.

sorry, hon, i didn't make it clear - THIS is the bit i was refraining from commenting on.

Oh, obviously then that contradicts what I said above. So you agree with my first post in this topic?

yes and no. i think your argument might be part of a bigger picture, but THAT depends on how much faith you have in IQ testing and results. not sure i subscribe to your suggestion wholeheartedly, but it's certainly food for thought.

I identify with what you said here. I have learned to function outside my home very well. However, I then have more stress and exaustion when I reach a safe place like home. None of this is probably fair to my family but I am the primary bread winner so they do a lot to help me support them.