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HacKING
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22 Jan 2020, 11:56 am

If anybody asks me to do anything that may tamper with my pre-envisioned idea of the day I completely reject it. Unfortunately, it often makes me get into conflict with people because they call me very uncompromising. The issue is that every little thing in my life is all part of an intricate machine to keep my life stable and I cannot afford for it to be messed with.

Does anybody else feel this way?



Brehus
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22 Jan 2020, 1:41 pm

I completely understand the need for a routine but. Honestly it will likely come across to a NT that your are condescending and self centered this will potentially hurt you in relationships and could hurt your ability for advancement in the work place.


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Dear_one
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22 Jan 2020, 3:06 pm

HacKING wrote:
If anybody asks me to do anything that may tamper with my pre-envisioned idea of the day I completely reject it. Unfortunately, it often makes me get into conflict with people because they call me very uncompromising. The issue is that every little thing in my life is all part of an intricate machine to keep my life stable and I cannot afford for it to be messed with.

Does anybody else feel this way?


Only on my very worst days, when I've had no sleep, or time to finish thinking, and have not included any cushions. Usually, I will plan on arriving somewhere with enough time to check my mail or read a book, so if I get into bad traffic, or can't find something, I'll probably still be on time. If I've got myself locked into a set finishing time on any fairly new task I can get very upset if there's any changes.

It might be better to think of the "you" machine as a factory, instead of a watch. The watch can't miss a beat. The factory has bins of stuff waiting, and does the batches of processing when it is OK to start.



BTDT
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22 Jan 2020, 3:11 pm

I found that if I tipped generously at my favorite ramen restaurant, they would make my meal precisely as I wanted it. The cook would even send the waiter out if they were unsure. But, the owner had health issues so now I have to find a new place.



Mona Pereth
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24 Jan 2020, 3:56 am

HacKING wrote:
If anybody asks me to do anything that may tamper with my pre-envisioned idea of the day I completely reject it. Unfortunately, it often makes me get into conflict with people because they call me very uncompromising. The issue is that every little thing in my life is all part of an intricate machine to keep my life stable and I cannot afford for it to be messed with.

Does anybody else feel this way?

Although I can't always reject last-minute changes in plans, they do take a substantial mental toll on me if I don't/can't reject them. Like many autistic people, I have a big problem with what I call mental gear-shifting overhead.

When you say you "cannot compromise with anybody," are you talking just about short-term changes in plans, or long-term plans too?

For me, any and all social outings need to be planned at least a few days in advance and preferably at least a week in advance. But I am open to negotiation about scheduling if it's sufficiently far in advance.


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Dear_one
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24 Jan 2020, 4:20 am

One day, my roommates came to my store in a van, and told me to lock up. Then, we went to the beach for a most excellent day and night.
My preference on social time is mostly unplanned, but within windows of availability. Planning leads to less sleep, which then tends to spoil the event. Being well rested and ready for anything works a lot better, and I can enjoy it too.