AS and having children

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I know that this topic has been talked about before, but I'm starting to worry. I want kids, but what are the chances of my kid ending up with AS just like me? Granted I haven't been officially diagnosed, and my mom is pretty sure that if I do have AS, then its most likely a very mild form, but still. When you add the AS to the Cryptorchidism as a baby, that means it's hard enough for me to get a girl pregnant, and then what if the only time that I was able to get someone pregnant, the baby ends up having AS?

I'm not saying I wouldn't love the child any less, I just don't want my kid to have to grow up like I did, without any friends, without any real social life, having strange interests and actually obsessing over people, etc.

I guess I'm trying to say that I would want my kid to have the best life possible, and although I know that there's nothing wrong with having AS and sometimes it is nice having all these extra gifts, or having all this random knowledge I do think it would be slightly easier. Not to mention that I have a hard time controlling myself under stress anyways, and I end up having angry anxiety attacks and then becoming withdrawn to the point where I just want to lay there for the rest of my life.

There is always a higher chance for a kid to have AS if one of the parents have it too. They may have it or just have traits of it or if they're lucky, they won't have it at all.

There are aspies out there who would rather adopt than have kids of their own where they can pass their condition on down to their child.

Adoption would be a choice, but i'd obviously have to talk it over with my significant other of course lol

The other thing is that she's already told me she's not sure she could handle a child with autism/AS. Like she'd still love it the same, but lets face it, autistic children do need more attention. She also tends to over-exaggerate things and so I don't want to tell her there's a possibility that our child could have AS until I know for sure what that possibility is.

My husband doesn't want to adopt so I'm stuck with making one. He also hopes our child be normal and says one of me is enough.

But can your girlfriend handle you? If she can, why not an autistic child if he or she was effected at the same level as you? Or is one enough for her?

what's "Cryptorchidism"?

i think AS has a high chance of family transmission from what i can see. In real life, i know several with AS and things are with them as follows

AS person one and person two... i dont know if either of their parents have AS or not as i dont know parents
AS person three.. Both him and his father have AS (He has one brother thou who is non AS)
AS person four.. Both him and his father have AS (He has a normal non AS sister)

My family
My father has AS (or autism) .. i have AS, one of my sisters certainly isnt AS, my other two sisters have some AS traits thou probably aint AS (but who knows.. possible one other may be mild AS).
Myself.. i have two daughters. One has AS FAR WORST then i do.. (my AS is bad enough that i keep getting into police trouble due to melt downs i cant help .. my daughters AS is worst, my intellegence is very high...professor level, so that has helped me get throu life better in many ways, but my daughter has struggled so so much ALL her life with EVERYTHING). i had big issues raising her as she's very hard to deal with due to the AS and her meltdowns.. she even put holes in the houses walls from the age of 8yrs old due to them. (i found thou my non AS child easy to raise).

If you do have AS and want a child... you and your partner need to be prepared that you could have a child with it far worst than you do.

I often complain that my mother had no right to bring me into this world. Today's kids might have it easier with the training. Parents have needs, one of which is off-spring. That's the need of the parent.

If you are at all vulnerable to sensory overload, even mildly, I don't recommend having kids.

I didn't know I had AS until recently. I have three boys and I cannot imagine not having them. They are wonderful, interesting people and have enriched my life tremendously. I can hardly tolerate other people's kids, but mine I deal with just fine.

My eldest is 11 and says he is very happy to be in the world. He might have a mild AS, he will start the evaluation process in the fall. He has his interest that keep him busy and two excellent friends. He is bilingual and is very gifted.
My second child is three years old and is probably PDD-NOS, we are still going to see a few more doctors.
The baby has not manifested any obvious traits yet. Subtle yes, but you never know with young kids.

I don't know if I would have remained childless if I had known about AS. I am glad things turned out they did.

Last edited by Mitsouko on 01 Aug 2010, 8:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fair enough. I don't think I will have children. The last time I spent some time around a group of children, I stayed in a hyperadrenal aggressive state for 2.5 hours before finally feeling normal again. Seriously my heart rate was like 120 (normally around 80/90) and I just felt so coiled up and aggressive, I wanted to hit something.

Me and children don't mix.

Essentially it's when a male baby is born and his testes don't descend into the scrotum like they're supposed to. I had to have a double orchiopexy before I was 5 otherwise I would have become sterile.



Well, I think the other thing is that she's thinking of a full-blown autistic child, while I just have a mild case of AS. As for genetics, No one else in my family has it that I know of, but my father did suffer from clinical depression, and was a unrecoverable alcoholic, to the point where he commited suicide...

You almost certainly have some chance greater than normal, but the actual chance hasn't been calculated.

But think about this: If you were NT, and had no health problems, you would still have to think about the possibility that you might have a disabled child. If you are not ready to parent a disabled child, then you're not ready to be a parent, period. That possibility is there for everyone, not just for people who have some condition already.

Also: The world for people with disabilities is getting better and better. Fifty years ago, an autistic child was likely to be institutionalized, forgotten about, and have an early death. Today we suffer prejudice and stigma, but are increasingly participating in society, at work and at school. Our children will have even less trouble as the disability rights movement gains even more momentum; and our chance of having a happy life seems to be about as good as anyone's.

Your decision is a lot like that of anyone in a minority group deciding whether or not to bring children into a world where they are likely to face prejudice. Can you learn to protect them when they are young, and teach them to protect themselves when they are older? Are you willing to take on the responsibility of making a better world for them to live in? If yes, then you can responsibly have a child.

I'm on the spectrum, I'm fairly sure my ex-husband is on the spectrum, complete with other co-morbidities, and so far our two kids seem completely NT. It's a crapshoot for sure. One good thing is that there is more recognition and training and support now, unlike when I was a kid and autism only meant LFA.

I guess it is something we will have to discuss. I mean if I have a "disabled" child in any means, I'm not going to love it no less or anything like that, but I'll have to tell her that there's a higher possibility of the child being on the spectrum, but that doesn't mean that the child would be LFA, because it could be LFA, HFA, AS, or PDD/NOS.

An NT and an NT can have an Aspie. An Aspie and and an Aspie can have an Aspie. An Aspie and an NT can have an Aspie. Each of these groups can also have an NT. No point worrying about things, if you want kids but deny yourself them, you'll end up regretting it.

Plus, there's nothing wrong with having an Aspie anyway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritability_of_autism

BTW:

i am an aspie dad with four aspie kids... so i my case the heritability is 100%.