I'm NOT an Aspie! lol

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I'm just a socially crippled NT with severe sensory issues.

Is that possible?

Sigh. I took my daughter to a party today for a friend of hers from school. She's mildly autistic. Anyhow, she had a good time. I didn't. I sat there by myself, unsure if parents were supposd to stay or not (there were some parents there but maybe they were relatives or mom's friends?). I did my best not to stare at people, but this one woman had a really fabulous pair of glasses and I couldn't help myself. I just HAD to look.

Clearly I'm not normal. Sometimes I think I'm just a deranged NT. Sometimes I'm sure I'm an Aspie. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a cave and never come out.

Why do you think you're not an aspie?

I dunno. Sometimes I think I feel too much and communicate too well to be an Aspie. Even I am frustrated by my husband and daughter's communication issues, much in the way I think NTs are often frustrated with autism in general in such situations. That's the big reason why I question it. Also, though I have always been the distant one in every relationship I've ever had...my husband's distance occasionally leaves me feeling alone. He doesn't understand that. He says, "What do you mean you feel alone? I'm right here." Do people with AS feel these things?

We feel disconnected from others and frustrated in our inablity to feel connected. I can be in a crowd and my differences make me feel all alone. The worst part is that I can look, act, dress just like every body else and I always have to add that one piece of personality that sticks out.

The range of us on the spectrum is what makes it such a difficult thing. I see AS kids on two levels. Very gifted in math and science or very gifted with language and language concepts. I too am great with language concepts. It's the way that the thought patterns are that makes the AS.

I lost my thread of thought....sorry.

The spectrum is odd to me. You hear so many stereotyped things about autism, then in reality it is actually something else.

May I ask how so many contradictory symptoms can occur in s diagnosis that's supposed to explain why someone behaves a certain way? Some say they can't stand social interaction, other thrive on it, some hate this others love it, almost every single thing used to diagnose is disputable. It's like having a medical disorder thats symptom is shortness of breath, and inablility to exercise, and a triathelete be diagnosed it!

OMG, Siuan, I can totally identify; I'm in exactly the same situation. I've never been diagnosted as aspies/autistic (not that this means anything), but I've always felt socially "out of it." Last night, I ditched my company's Halloween party because big parties terrify me. I never know what to say, or how to approach people, and always end up in a corner by myself scarfing down chips and dip. Everyone I work with couldn't wait for the party, but for me, the idea of enduring several hours of political maneuvering while in costume sounded just too horrible.

Most people think I'm pretty normal--I'm happily married and have a great job that requires a lot of public speaking (which, weirdly enough, I'm pretty good at). But I don't have the "normal" big posse of friends that everyone's supposed to have. I'm honest to God not a jerk; I try to be nice and try my best to see things from others' perspectives—but almost everyone who meets me socially either ignores me or thinks I'm weird.

Advice? Suggestions? Help!

I think it shows how broad the spectrum is. On the standard diagnostic scales I'm seriously AS, but I've always been very social (Despite spending a lot of time alone), had girlfriends from an early age, love parties and often have worked & enjoyed beeing in a team. But I still have big problems with non-verbal communication, faux pas, and social anxiety. When I was diagnosed the psychologists seemed quite fascinated by my gregariousness, particularly in light of the seriousness of my other symptoms...

I feel exactly the same. I hate the whole 'spectrum' thing. I'm not an aspie, but I'm not an NT. I'm somewhere in the middle, and accepted by neither. I guess I'm lucky my issues are mild, and I am capable of having friends etc, but I feel so miserable now that I've started college. I meet people and they like me - but I don't really like to socialize, so it often doesn't go further. The fact that I don't party is really holding me back. I told my roommate I think I'm on the spectrum, and she was helpful about it. I'm a likeable person, but I can't really make close friends. I always feel disconnected and alienated, even when things are going well. To put it plainly, it sucks.

The NT thing I have been exposed to and never caught on. I did my best to cope, which left me somewhere. I was not them, or me.

Sometimes I lived out in the mountains, just to be me being me, but had no idea what to look for.

Now I learn about aspie, I see it, but I need lessons. I doubt I could get them here. We are all products of misfitting in NT life.

When a group of self realized aspies raises a group, where they will have full range aspieism without the jambed gear syndrome, the, I should do this, maybe, but I feel like doing this, and it goes back and forth, and I do nothing, or leave. That group can teach me how to be me.

Social I never got, but business I understand. The manager has no friends, is not there to be liked, and just wants X done by Y. If humans were more like machines, I would do better. I would have them all in uniforms, with numbers, direct their activity, and get twice the production.

I missed my place, running a Soviet Munitions factory during the war, I would have gotten the Order of Lenin.

Fitting in, and giving up, seem the same to me. You will not see me picking lice off of apes and talking football and TV.