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Tired of Support Groups!

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Xelebes
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29 May 2009, 10:50 pm

AaronAgassi wrote:
http://www.FoolQuest.com/fooltrek_faq/fooltrek_faq_II_b_honesty.htm#group


Oh man, I love hyperlexic ranting.


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AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 1:17 am

Ah aims tu pleaz!



zer0netgain
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30 May 2009, 9:03 am

Support groups can be good and bad.

The good is that you meet people with similar struggles for emotional and intellectual support. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone.

The bad is that many groups turn into pity parties, where the losers just suck everyone else down with them.

You want a group that supports, comforts and encourages, not one that feeds off your problems as a vindication of why they too are not moving on with life.



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30 May 2009, 9:42 am

OregonBecky wrote:
I still go to support groups once in awhile. It's all small talk and "ain't it awful?" talk. I hate support groups.

I want groups who see that there are aspies out there who are the world's best computer engineers, the world's best electrical engineers and the world's best mechanical engineers but nobody knows it because support groups usually don't talk about how to bring people together to build some cool stuff and mentor aspies who wouldn't know what to do with their engineering brilliance.

I want people in support groups to look around at each other and see that there are enough people to do some big planning and make things happen, to step in for each other where one is weak and the other is strong. Together the sum of our parts can create some cool things and ways to determine our own futures without begging for the system to fix things for us.

Together we can intimidate the system!

There! I'm done with my rant. I don't have a support group. I have a real life solutions group. Very small but, at least, I have something to aim for, something to give me hope.

The problem is finding the right support group for you. Personally, I have very little faith in them but I don't discount the fact they can help others out. Sounds like you are describing a project-oriented group that has a common, tangeable goal in mind. Not just giving people a pat on the back and encouragement when they need it.



AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 11:14 am

Funny you should mention that! I am actually seeking to form project-oriented groups at http://www.FoolQuest.com



starygrrl
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30 May 2009, 11:46 am

I believe most support groups were designed largely around NT people. I personally have cannot relate to anybody in support group settings I have been in. They require a certian degree of empathy that I lack. I always walk away from them, with a I can't learn anything from these people because I cannot relate at all. My partner wanted me to go to some related to things I do, but once he well understood better how I process and learn things, he realized he had to back off. Support groups by in large are a waste of my time.

Btw I am not talking about aspie groups, here in dc we have one which is pretty big. It kind of serves it seems as a way to discuss life skills and a way to be social. Most the girls, like myself have pdd-nos or nld.

Also remember not everybody on the spectrum is in science or engineering. Everybody on the spectrum finds their own niche according to their interests. Some are able to make it into a profession, others do not.



Spokane_Girl

30 May 2009, 12:22 pm

I have never been to regular support groups except the AB/DL gatherings. I don't see it as a support group because its not where we all get together and talk about our issues.

I go to the aspie support groups and they are structured. Each person has a turn to talk. I feel I fit right in and I feel different there than I do with regular people. One time in one of them where everyone was talking and having their own visits and I felt a little overwhelmed inside but dealt with it. I realized I liked structure ones better. Sure if I was talking to one person, then the free thing wouldn't be a problem for me because I am also part of it than just sitting by myself and everyone is talking and I have no one to talk to.



AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 12:23 pm

Precisely how are those Aspie groups different? The only one that I ever have been exposed to, had me just about running away screaming! Those nasty affect flattened pansies plainly lacked so much as an iota of human sympathy or interest, but where determined to fake it until we make it, via interminable ritual of endless banal small talk and reciprocal marshmallow throwing! And naturally, everything substantive or critical was ruled out of bounds. If I never see another bogus stifling support group, it will be too soon!



Last edited by AaronAgassi on 30 May 2009, 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

the_phoenix
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30 May 2009, 12:36 pm

AaronAgassi wrote:
Those nasty affect flattened pansies plainly lacked so much as an iota of human sympathy or interest, but where determined to fake it until we make it, via endless banal small talk and reciprocal marshmallow throwing!


~~ ()_() ~~~ ()_() ~~ ()_()

Sorry about the "marshmallow-throwing emoticons" being tossed your way ... couldn't resist! :twisted:

.....
...
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AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 12:43 pm

Reduced to emoticon? How efficient! A real time saver.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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30 May 2009, 1:09 pm

AaronAgassi wrote:
Precisely how are those Aspie groups different? The only one that I ever have been exposed to, had me just about running away screaming! Those nasty affect flattened pansies plainly lacked so much as an iota of human sympathy or interest, but where determined to fake it until we make it, via interminable ritual of endless banal small talk and reciprocal marshmallow throwing! And naturally, everything substantive or critical was ruled out of bounds. If I never see another bogus stifling support group, it will be too soon!


That's prolly the source of my inner conflict too.



AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 1:17 pm

Indeed?



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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30 May 2009, 1:22 pm

AaronAgassi wrote:
Reduced to emoticon? How efficient! A real time saver.


At least he was creative coming up with a marshmallow throwing emoticon effect. I guess things are authentic now.



AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 1:25 pm

Authentic digression?



AaronAgassi
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30 May 2009, 1:35 pm

But seriously, authenticity is indeed all to easily bandied about. It's harder to really define whatever is truly of essence.