Catch-22

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I'm kinda keeping my AS quiet. I want to be treated like "normal" but I can't because I have these AS tendencies that hinder my allusion of normality. Thus people act very awkward around me like they know something's different about me, but they don't know what. So if I told them I have AS they would treat me like any other NT would, like a a person with a mental disability. Thus the biggest catch-22 ever. I want to be treated like a normal person but it's impossible.

Don't tell people I have AS = They treat me weird
Tell people I have AS = They treat me weird.


Anyone else feel the same way?

If you tell them you have AS, atleast they'll know WHY you act weird, but it's probably better not to.

That about sums it up, yes.

Mostly I prefer to have people consider me eccentric as opposed to mentally handicapped - which is what they will automatically equate any form of autism with if they aren't educated on the topic.

I know-- thank God my mother only tells people who are dysfunctional themselves that I have AS!

oh yeah i feel that way. I personally choose not to tell anyone, even if that would help me at times. I know NT people enough to know how they would feel and think towards me if i told them.
But yes, it's catch 22, no easy solution.

Agreed. Only at times I wish I had the Official dx so I could use it to manipulate some situations.

Example:

A few weeks ago I went out with my cousin. She is a social butterfly and me, well, not so much. She walked around the place we were and spoke to everyone (really) and I well, I followed, silently behind her, occasionally muttering a hello as necessary. We get on fine. We have a good laugh and enjoy in each others sarcasm, etc. so there is never any problems there, but I know people look at me like some anti-social freak of nature or snot-nosed cold b***h that is purposely avoiding others.

Later that evening, we were outside and just about to head back indoors when this guy walked by me, muttered a "hello" and I did not respond. Before I knew what was really happening, he followed up with "all I said was hello, thanks alot for responding" and looked thoroughly upset at my ignorance and left the place in a hurry.

I felt like a such jack ass. Truly. I had this overwhelmiing urge to be able to scream "I didn't mean to... I am autistic" *sigh*

Otherwise, on my own stomping grounds, I am completely content appearing eccentric.

I tell everyone that comments about my rocking or anything I do that is "odd". I figure it doesn't bother me a ton if they know-they will avoid me either way, lol, but maybe it will catch interest in most (I've found that so far in college, oddly) at least on the topic. I kind of enjoy being "evidence" to clear up the horrible idea that most think autism is solely, and that there is a lot more to it and that it really IS a spectrum disorder.

Indeed, I agree with everyone on here 100%. If someone knows me a while they see im definatly uneque. I dont bother tellin people because most of my peers are uneducated and some ignorant, eather they wont know what AS/HFA is or assume im lying or assume im retarted, dispite the fact that they often come to me when they want information on history or physics.

Killearn: "If you harm me, His Lordship will hunt you down, and you know it!"
Rob Roy: "I'm past caring, Killearn."

There comes a point, certainly for me, maybe for everyone... Where being counted as "weird" just doesn't freaking matter any more. It doesn't to me. I'm gifted and successful; I'm also tormented and cursed with boarderline madness. In all, if that makes me weird, so be it. Why is "weird" such an insult? To me, "normal" is more of an insult.

I care not whether people know about my probable AS or not; I'm starting not to even care about people knowing about my probable schizophrenia. I am what I am; and what I am is both wondrous and terrible. Those with wisdom have the ability to see the good in m, and look past the bad; and I'm rather blessed to have a few, just a few, friends and loved ones who are able to grok this. The rest? Well, they can simply f**k off. Right?

Be yourself. Those worthy of knowing you and your special weirdness will not hold it against you. The rest will show themselves for who they really are, and you can justly dicard them.

[Catch-22 is a great book, BTW; I highly recommend it; it is, in line with this thread, a very, very weird tale...]

Good fortune,

- Icarus thinks normal is weird...