Seriously?!?

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I'm not here to say you people are full of it, but I am...however, I think I have aspergers...Here's my problem... I'm a twin and ever since I've been little I've been really smart, straight A's valedictorian etc. My brother and I didn't fit in well at all, (but we did have friends). I've looked into aspergers quite a bit and I'm quite torn between thinking I have it myself and thinking that it doesnt actually exist and that I'm being misled by people who are looking for self-pity. And don't think I'm trying to enflame people because according to all the symptoms I've read I HAVE walked in these shoes and do have aspergers. I'm in college at Arizona State and today there was an article about some students with aspergers in the State Press Magazine. They describe how the student made "people models" to understand just how normal people function. This is something I did in my junior high-high school days. I clearly recognized that I functioned differently and that to fit in I needed to mimic what "normal" people did. In fact one day I explained to my brother that if he wanted to fit in he would have to try it to. (From what I've read this is a clear aspergers trait.) BUT, as of now I feel nearly completely functional in society as a result, to the point that I'm relatively convinced I simply went through what a lot of people go through and what I experienced were simply the trials of life. I am now completely capable of striking up a conversation at will and being the life of a party but I'm completely incapable of surviving a relationship. I feel that in order for a relationship to SUCCEED my actions in relationships must be nearly completely charted by what I've made a model for... to be honest I have a hard time following the model because I want to go with what I feel... but that doesnt seem to work well, instead it seems I should use "guy code" and "ladder theory" to have a successful relationship, however these are models made by "normal people" which again leads me to the point that I clearly do not function in a relationship due to my aspergers and yet I don't function in a relationship because a lot of regular people just don't.

I hope this article was confusing and not confusing. I hope you understood everything I was saying but are still confused. In my opinion, this is exactly where this topic (Aspergers) stands in society. IT IS A FREAKING MESS. Sometimes I think that my intelligence is a bit higher than "regular" people and as a result I am forced to understand the common daily events that go on. The result is an inability to simply let things slide as "normal" but to try to understand them. In doing so, I create a difference in myself and cause my aspergers. Perhaps my experiences at a young age with math and science created a smart person who had lack of experience in social environments while people who exceled in social enviornments do not so well in math and science. This is a basic societal concept that has nothing to do with aspergers but can actually define aspergers... I spent most my time learning when I was younger, however i spent it learning math and science, i didn't have time to learn social interaction. however i took the time to learn social interaction in high school and now can do very well at it just like in math and science.

Now I'll turn on the " model" me. The previous paragraphs didn't make a whole lot of sense but I kind of wanted them that way. I wrote those in sort of a stream of consciousness frame of mind. If I wanted to, I could go back and add sentences here or there to make it less of a ramble and more direct. I feel that doing that would take away from the importance of what I'm trying to communicate. This disorder is so entirely "F***** UP" that defining who has aspergers and who has simply overcome it, is quite near impossible. Personally I don't know if I have aspergers or not and even if 5 different doctors said I did I don't think I'd believe them. This would be because the empirical evidence is lacking. I can relate to nearly every single symptom, but I believe that ANYONE can relate to those symptoms if they look hard enough. The reason I came to this forum today is because I'm noticing a trend in the amount of Aspergers syndrome I hear in news these days. If your cause is to make your condition known than I feel you are becoming very successful. Unfortunately, when this condition hit's the mainstream public it will face criticsm far harsher than my ramblings. I would love to do research on Aspergers and put my education to some use but I must say I'm convinced (and rightfullly so) that it can be overcome because for the most part I feel I have overcame it. But the fact I overcame it makes me wonder if I had it to begin with. So please... respond, I ask you take your time though, and thoroughly think out what you're going to say because I assure you this is in no simple terms an easy subject. You're asking the world and people like me (who have overcame this... maybe) to believe in your cause and that you will never be "normal" despite the fact... someone like me has become nearly normal...
Oh, and you will have to convince people that they are "the normals" when i guarantee every person on this planet has felt "not normal" at some point.

I guess I'm just hoping to get some responses that will get me brainstorming in some form of direction...

I must tell you that if you think people who say they have Asperger's are just pity-grabbing attention seekers, you are sorely mistaken. It is a real condition that affects every aspect of one's life and impacts those around them. I can't speak for others on here, but I have been diagnosed by 3 different doctors including the leading expert on autistic spectrum disorders in the whole state that I live in.

It is true that there is a growing trend of self-diagnosis, but this tends to happen with many other disorders affecting one's mind and behavior (for example, with ADD/ADHD and multiple personality disorder). Sure, their will always be the pretenders who put on dramatics for attention, but you have to remember that there are those who really do have it and are genuinely struggling to live everyday life with it.

It looks like you still have a ways to come. Most people my age with aspergers have gone their entire lives feeling out of place and not quite understanding why we seem to think differently than other people. Recently we've found out that there is a reason for all this.

We're not trying to make other people feel bad, or gain a following. This webpage is made to discuss problems we have and share our aspie experiences. All that said, welcome to wrongplanet.

weasel,

With one post, and that being today, what you say is suspect anyway. The original definition of aspergers is interesting. And it is interesting how it contains so many odd and wierd quirks that seem beyond belief/imagination. Yet they are true, and relatively common with AS.

Anyway, I don't here many here speaking of how they brag to others about having AS and, frankly, there are worse things if you want sympathy.

Ever heard of punctuation? Maybe shorter paragraphs?

i personally dont think you have aspergers. any person who has aspergers knows that no "modeling" can lead to actually interact "normaly" in society, and moreso be the "life of the party" and "strike conversations" whenever you want. It's to an extent hardwired in us, and no training can change that. You just can function to some level, but not completely.
As you point it correctly you went through "the trials of life", but aspergers is not just "trials of life", it's a pervading condition, when you have it you just know it, because no amount of work really makes a real change. Because of what you say, i think you just had more issues than the average person, and you worked through them.

I guess some conditions of aspergers are very relatable to young people (mostly teenagers) because of the alienation, the confusion, etc. Thats why teens with problems get in here and say they have aspergers. Thats the same reason why a lot of people can say the have "walked this shoes", and still dont have aspergers.

Trust me, anyone who has aspergers for real knows its no illusion.

People who have AS have to develop coping skills to survive. I learned to make small talk, make eye contact without staring, strike up a conversation, read faces somewhat and other things I'm not supposed to be able to do. I do this by the models I created over the years and still tweak.

What sticks out for me is you building the people model and wanting to micro-analyze your relationships before you get into them. You very likely have AS. If you want to resolve the question find a psychologist that has training in diagnosing AS in adults.

Social problems are not the only Aspergean traits, buddy. Sensory issues play a big role, and there can also be obsessions, selective mutism, meltdowns, lack of empathy, the list goes on and on... try looking up classic autism and you might get a better picture. Just being a misfit or a geek or feeling "different" hardly classifies someone with AS.

Um... Mission, accomplished?

Seriously though, I doubted I had AS for quite a while because I saw myself functioning in society to a certain extent, even though it took many years to get to this level.

But once you do a few tests and see that you really aren't doing it in the same way as NT's, that it's a process or routine that you run in your head rather than a natural reaction that takes no thought. Then you realise you may look and act like everyone esle (or think that you do) but you don't.

I know I'm far less AS than I was in my younger days, but it's still there.

A lot of problems are caused by so-called experts who come up with broad sweeping ideas that are not researched, saying things like "there's no such thing as Asperger's", "there's no such thing as OCD", "there's no such thing as depression", etc...

Check out this group, they don't believe that you can get AIDS from HIV... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS_reappraisal

How can your intelligence be a bit higher than regular people?

Geessuss, I've seen these kinds of people on other AS forums before - they start off by insulting the entire forum because of their own self-proclaimed superiority yet w*k on and on about themselves like we're supposed to care. Just another pathetic soul.

OP - I honestly don't care if you have AS or not, or whether you've "overcame" it or not. All I read in that post is "me me me me me me me me me me me oh yeah, you people suck because you're not as clever as ME me me me me me...."

Tell my why I should even care about anything you say when such raging narcissism like that would clearly distort your prespective to the point of absurdity.

And please don't refer to yourself as having Asperger's if you're not sure, and especially if you can't extend a little respect for other people and their own personal experiences with it. That's a nice way of saying "Go f*** yourself, dude!"

Whateva.

I think I get where you're coming from. It's all things I've thought to myself, I'll admit it. I guess what convinces me of the reality of AS is living with others who have it. If it were just me, I'd surely exist in a near-identical frame of mind to yours...questioning and wondering and doubting. Thing is, I have a husband who is incredibly intelligent, yet cannot understand some very simple tings I try to explain. These things are primarily how I feel when I ask him to put himself in my shoes. He cannot. He is not capable unless he has been there. Similarly, I have a daughter who cannot answer the question "why" about most things. She could not pedal a bike for two years of me trying. And for me, while I have overcome much of the social differences that kept me nearly friendless, I still wobble awkwardly through it, I'm just simply seen as eccentric.

I'm of the mind that an adult diagnosis does little other than satisfy a nagging itch for those who need affirmation. I guess the question is, what is your ultimate goal? There must be a reason you discovered AS.

Despite the fact that we could "overcome" it, it probably won't change the fact that we're introverts, and still like to be alone. That is, we could probably learn what social cues are and what to do or not to do by having other people tell us what they are (since it's not second nature to us), and probably learn to talk better so that we don't fear it, but it won't change the fact that we still prefer to be alone, or still need our own quiet time, or we'll go nuts. "Overcoming" Aspergers doesn't necessarily mean we're changing how we think. It means we're learning the stuff that everyone's already taken for granted that we didn't have instinctively.

I feel that way often. I am older, it never existed in my time, and we just got by. There were many people stranger than me. I did learn to function, but I did have to study, pay attention, and as soon as I relaxed, it came out me.

Even when I thought I was passing, I might as well been Chinese, speaking, writing, following the customs, manners, and thinking everyone saw me as Chinese, even though I was over six foot, a white devil, with blue eyes. They put up with me, but did not want me dating their daughter.

AS is nothing, the problems come with the reaction to it, people who grow up in the country, me, have a much different life than those who go to city schools. Family background varies, educational level, economics, all affect the outcome.

It is normal for those in college to feel superior and immortal, wait till you hit employment and the free for all of working with others, with little structure, and hundreds of secret agendas.

I would have sworn nothing was wrong with me, until I ran into WP,

I joined, but my first post, At First I Thought it was a Joke. It did sound so made up, computers and anima.

Later I thought it was me, and a little later, that it did not fit, then that it did not exist, and now I am back to pleading guilty.

I still cannot define it, disagree with most that I read, but cannot get away from the something that runs through all these pages.

Then there is the part where without the mask, I have found people I like and understand, and have gotten some of the best advice in my life here.

You may see yourself as an evolved spritual being, having moved beyond the bonds of flesh, but when you try to fly, launch from the lowest step, not the roof, because if you can fly, it works either way.

So if you are voted most popular, marry a cheerleader, and get a top job coming out of school, fine, but you still have a life to work on, just like everyone else.

AS is not a perfect answer, I have a lot of problems with it, as I did with everything else, but it is the closest fit I have found.

I think AS is a loose description of a certain way of processing the world.

The degree to which this way of processing the world impedes function is the degree to which it is a disorder.


There are quite a lot of variables that go into a person's ability to cope and adapt- or not.


Should AS be a big bad excuse not to cope and adapt? Of course not.

I think what the label should be is a tool- a banner, for those of us who process that way, to gather under, should we feel the need; a means of making connections and finding solutions; a way of identifying what resource and tactics we need to find success. . and yes, a way of obtaining them, if it comes to it.

However, I think everyone should be granted, insofar as society has the power to grant them, the resources to maximize their contributions and abilities. . . . people of all neurotypes. That we define neurotypes as different is merely a way of figuring out what resources which people need. . . or at least, I think it should be. .

Just because you managed with the resources you'd landed with doesn't mean everyone can- or that it isn't useful over all to help those who have greater difficulty.

Huh. I do this to this day; I call such models "human interactive constructs", have done so for years, long before I heard of AS, as I've always been fond of modeling my own mental facilities like a computer system. I Have a set of such constructs, some tailored for individual people, some for more arbitrary people (like a clerk at the grocery store). I've never heard anyone else describe it quite this way; before learning about the thing called Asperger's Syndrome, hearing another human put it this way would have astonished me; these days, given knowledge of AS, it is unsurprising to hear.

And you're also even as nearly a rambly writer as I am. Now I can imagine what the poor folks who try to read through some of my posts must feel like.

Brainstorm input initiated.

Good fortune,

- Iacrus needs to defrag his short-term engrams...