Measuring Up to Other People's Expectations
People in my family always had expectations from me and in the beginning I guess I complied with fulfilling those expectations. Doing the little dance of amusement. As time went by I wizened up and got hip to the manipulations and it wasn't long before I started rebelling and just saying *NO*. Even today 30 years later, they still have expectations that I will fill for them and you know what - sometimes I do - but I do it because it's the right thing to do - and sometimes I don't because I feel that boundaries are crossed and not honored and so my NO becomes a mantra. Funny thing is, they don't change, but I seem to be - getting more flexible - but still I resent being imposed on. And that's what it feels like - imposition. How dare they!
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly
sinsboldly
Veteran

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
absolutely, how dare they!
They should only do what I expect them to do for me!
I'm familiar with expectations. I just stopped caring though, because I realize that I'll never meet theirs no matter how much I accomplish. I go by my own expectations, which I set for myself.
It's funny, while I too seem to be a bit more flexible over time, they seem more rigid. Is this merely our perspective, or does the introspection born of being on the spectrum cause us to open our minds to other possibilities more easily while others simply become more rooted in sameness over time?
_________________
They tell me I think too much. I tell them they don't think enough.
absolutely, how dare they!
They should only do what I expect them to do for me!
I added that for some comedy relief. Of course they dare and of course they will.
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly
I'm familiar with expectations. I just stopped caring though, because I realize that I'll never meet theirs no matter how much I accomplish. I go by my own expectations, which I set for myself.
It's funny, while I too seem to be a bit more flexible over time, they seem more rigid. Is this merely our perspective, or does the introspection born of being on the spectrum cause us to open our minds to other possibilities more easily while others simply become more rooted in sameness over time?
It's both. We grow more flexible, they grow more imposing ad adfintum....all this for mutual stimulation and growth, I suppose.....
_________________
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Andy Clark: Autism WRT prior expectations shaping perception |
20 Jun 2025, 7:13 am |
How old do people think I am? |
07 Jul 2025, 1:27 am |
Talking to People |
30 Apr 2025, 6:15 pm |
Do Bad People Have It Coming? |
30 Jun 2025, 5:20 pm |