Are You Passive Aggressive?

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Do you sugar coat your malice? Do you sweetly convey the worst for your fellow man? Do you smile while wanting to insert a long blade into the heart of another while feigning innocence and purity?

Yes? OK then. Time to come clean. Fess UP!

Oh and those who're gonna say - NOPE I'm straight up malicious. Great. This thread however ain't directed at you.

Nope. Not even going to fess up, but will tell you that this is the way I have been accused of coming across....

Not at all malicious, but know that my inability to make decisions, lack of eye contact and social skills make me appear quite shy, quiet and passive and when I do have something to say it comes off as self centered, bold, and in your face...

Typical AS, no?

Am I passive aggressive though? I think not! Just terribly misunderstood.

Malice is something that I observe in others.

I find it completely confusing; it seems to have no logic to it.

I do find it a little interesting to observe for that reason although it is also disturbing.

Malice is alien to me.

I have been accused of BEing passive aggressive....(i was told that someone I know had said that about me)
But I don't understand how that was...
Definitely not on purpose..
either that or I was misinterpreted...
Is there some way to be passive aggressive and not know it?
I was really puzzled by that thing that was said about me.

I definitely was. I would rather eat s**t than admit it to anyone but myself and maybe my father. I wanted to kill, and at one point planned it. Thye were never going to get away with this again. Those people would never bother me again. I would never be humiliated like that again. Being humiliated in a courtroom, being told I was a disgrace and that I would have to do ten years, even that to me was way better than habving my very soul attacked and insulted nad squashed at school. And that was what they tried to do to me. These bastards had NO LIFE. They LITERALLY tried to find out what made me tick so that they could hurt me effectively.

I thought passive aggressive was more like someone can't be flat out about their intent and often use guilt to get what they want like

The passive aggressive person really wants to go to an event but their friend invited someone else. The passive aggressive will say "Fine...you just go have a good time without me!"

The friends usually say, umm okay but then the passive aggressive person sulks. Guilt manipulation.

An assertive person will tell the person

Hey, I want to go. You should take me with you.

An aggressive person will say

What is your F*cking problem?? Why are you taking that other person and not me?? I'm pissed off!! Either you take me or I'm not talking to you anymore.


When it comes to your scenerio of unpleasant thoughts regarding someone, yes I've had them and not acted on them.

When it comes to letting someone know that I don't like how they are, it usually takes a few times of that person messing up unless they are messing up really bad to the point to where I can't allow more mishaps. I'd prefer it if someone tell me straight out that they don't want me around than toss out hints.

Have been accused of it but to be perfectly honest don't really understand the meaning of the term.
People have tried to explain it but it doesn't quite work for me.

Yeah, there's definitely self-pity and *poor me, how dare you,*I'll show you how you hurt and offended me - and you'll never know what hit you!* in the acting out.

I've been told I was a bad person because I was so passive-aggressive when I didn't even mean to be at all. I just forgot to do something, or was ignorant, and other people think I'm mad and getting back in some way.

But at the same time, I try to sugar-coat when I talk to people, but only because I don't want the other person to be hurt about what I think about them and what I think needs to be done. Or truthfully, I learned over the years people really do hate it when you point out there flaws, even if all you want to do is help.

On the other hand, I would never think of doing something like for example giving someone food dropped on the floor because you are secretly mad at them, but part of me I hate to admit sees a bit of humor in that

In the meantime, a pie of mine was destroyed. I don't have enough evidence, but I highly suspect a passive-aggressive response to what they thought was passive-aggressive (I was actually asked if I was being passive-aggressive) , which involved an insident that ironically involved that same pie.

It is ironic that the pie that caused that person and eventually me so much pain was eventually destroyed anyway, maybe it was an evil pie and it didn't deserve to exist

I find passive-aggressive people incredibly annoying to be around.

I mean, if you're mad, why not just ****ing well say so?????

Nope, but I am very assertive.

True - sorry, I am just having a bad day. I will post about it elsewhere.

The truth is, I wish I was able to be assertive rather than aggressive, but I often find keeping control very difficult.

I genuinely do get very impatient with submissive people though - they just get under my skin & really irritate me. But passive-aggressive is much worse than genuinely being submissive, becuase it is false & fake.