Are you ALMOST an Aspie?

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Is there anyone else on the WP who relates to AS and has many of the traits, but believes he/she would not qualify for a diagnosis?

This isn't meant to be another "Do I have it or not?" threads. I'm just curious to meet other "almost" Aspies, and to hear the reasons they suspect they DON'T have AS, when they obviously relate to it enough to be on the WP.

(Sidenote: I know a lot of people here hate "fake" Aspies. However, when I say honestly that I do not think I have Asperger's, I don't mean to confess that I am a fake Aspie. I relate to AS, and I'm not faking any of my AS traits. I'm also not pretending that I DO have AS.)

Anyway, as for me, I have the following AS traits:

- sensory sensitivity
- special interests
- social anxiety (and social exhaustion, LOL)
- stimming and tics
- not good at expressing myself in a social way (tendency to sound upset when I'm not, lack of emotion, etc.)
- adherence to routine

However, I doubt I have AS because some of the above traits are not too extreme (stimming, for instance), AND because I don't have a problem with theory of mind, or with reading people. I don't always make eye contact, but this is because I'm shy, so I don't know if it counts.

But on the AS side, while I have learned how people interact and connect, I can't do it naturally myself. Actually, my mother works with children with autism, and when I told her recently, "I really relate to Asperger's Syndrome," she said that as a kid I was pretty Aspergery, but that I've outgrown it. But you can't outgrow AS, of course. If I was Aspergery as a child, then maybe I have simply learned some of the rules of the social world, which is what Aspies have to do much of the time to survive...

But in spite of relating to AS in so many ways, I think if I went to a psychologist, I would not be diagnosed. And that's fine with me. Either way would be fine with me.

Are there others who feel this way? What are your AS traits? And why do you think you don't quite have AS?

I am borderline AS/NT.

Tim

tough call.

i know i'm definitely not as severe maybe as many or most... but i know how i work. and of the few DXed aspies i've met... i don't really have enough of a working body to really say if i dont qualify.

it's just the lifelong knowing... that something is different... or that i just have one too many corners to fit in that round hole.

From which side?

Sid :O)

Diagnosed late in Life, never would of thought I had only diagnosed in my 40's about 6 months ago... if your thinking about you may well have, but has to be your journey...

Some of my story on being diagnosed, you may find helpful....
First getting diagnosed is not easy, you have to revaluate yourself. I could not help but wonder, how could I have not know for so long, did I want to know, would it change me, make a difference – I could be wrong. That’s when I knew I had to find out, I needed to know. Because if I was I had to know, if it was real it had to be fact. I did not want to have to keep just presuming, and having to try and convince everyone else.

When you most want the help, it can be hard. It’s not something people tend to talk about, or know about. I feel too many professionals (doctors, psychologists, teachers etc) still are not well enough informed on Autistic Spectrum Disorders. But with more awareness than ever, this is beginning to change. If you decide to be diagnosed it really is your choice, this is something you have to decide for yourself. Take time to find out as much as you can, as soon as I did there was no choice for me, I knew at last this could be away of really being able to be me.



Far too often, it’s left to you, or someone else in your life to recognise the symptoms. If not diagnosed it often leads to being wrongly diagnosed. I did try and get help about 10 years ago, had no idea what if anything was wrong, just knew I was different, and had problems dealing with certain issues unlike everyone else. It was suggested I was depressed, but knowing this was not the case decide not to push the issue, as did not want to be put on anti-depressants, lucky for me never like to take any drugs. So still feeling confused and misunderstood, carried on dealing with my differences alone.

Anyway, once realise you may have ASD or similar condition is to find a doctor or someone who will listen. But before that I would advise read as much as you can about aspergers and associated conditions, and write down all the reasons you feel you have aspergers. I also put down differences as far back as childhood, because as we get older we change. The more understanding and supporting evidence you collect the better, as will make the next step so much easier.

Once decided on a doctor, arrive armed with as much knowledge and information as possible, as this will not only prepare you, but make the whole process a lot easier. Make sure you write down as much as you can, because as it may all be new to you, can be quite hard explaining to someone else. I was lucky my doctor did agree to refer me to a psychologist for an assessment first time. But I was very well prepared, as knew would be lots of little things I would have forgotten to mention otherwise.

When I arrived to see the psychologist was very nervous, as never been to one before and was not sure what to except. But defiantly did not expect what happen next. I was asked why I thought I had aspergers, thought they would be asking me the questions. Just as well I was well prepared, but 1 hour is not a long time. But she did agree it was quite possible I had all the symptoms! But once her draft report arrive at my home, which clearly stated I had aspergers. I just stood there, I was all alone and it’s a lot to take in at first.

After reading the first draft did not know if I should cry or jump for joy, to be honest I think I already knew at that stage and really it was a big relief, everything just seem to make sense and others would really have to believe me now. I was not making it all up, or crazy. I really was simply just different, and the strange thing was I had come to that conclusion a while ago. Use to say to one of my friends here in NZ “I do not know why but I’m different for everyone else” but I did not know then there are lots more just like me. It was strange when first reading the words I have aspergers – it’s like, all of a sudden after being one person all your life, you find out your someone else.

I had to send the draft report back 4 times before I was happy with it, not sure if wanted to delay a little longer or just needed more time before sent to doctors and official. The strange thing is the letter did go to my doctors, but they never called me. I guess after all there is none thing wrong with me. Except for years of conscious effort trying to be someone other than what I should be, has at times been extremely stressful. Still find it hard at times, knowing I suffered for so long unnecessarily, growing up and continually being told your wrong. Brainwashed by society and the media, to be someone you are not.

But now I’m so proud to say I’m an aspie, and to me it is now just a fact like everything else. But one good point being diagnosed later in life was that I really got to study how society and the world really works, not like the norm where there knowledge is acquired unconsciously. If you have never heard of aspergers before, then please do not try and stereotype me or institutionalize what you do not understand. I have had to spend a life time trying to understand the norm, just try and see things through my eyes for a short time.

For full official criteria can view under AS Symptoms on my web site below and can also ask on site Clinical Psychologist questions...

it is impossible to be "almost" an aspie. either you are or you aren't.

^^^ tossing all spectrums aside?

"But you CAN "outgrow" aspergers!"

You can not outgrow what is apart of you, we can change and learn to adapt to NT's ways...

Adrie,
it does sound like have just learned coping skills,because people with AS are not going to be at the same level as an adult as they were a child-everyone improves to some extent even LFAers,it is very possible to be on the spectrum and not fit under a particular label.
sister is like this,she wouldn't be diagnoseable due to the mildness of it,but she is on the spectrum,it makes sense because both am and a cousin are autistic,dad is aspie,his brother is aspie and it was likely she would get her share.

is there anyone else in own family with classic/kanner autism,aspergers etc or just traits of asd?
not a definite way of knowing where it came from,but it helps with understanding it.

I can relate to what you are saying, Adrie, and I think maybe the answer is to continue pursuing this subject until you've exhausted it.
I noticed a lot of similar traits in myself, tho none of them are terribly serious. However, I've begun to reexamine some of my evidence to the contrary. When I learned that aspies are usually clumsy and poorly coordinated, I thought that my juggling would exclude me from the group. And then I remembered what everyone says when they see me juggle: why do you keep dropping them? lol
Now I consider myself to be a decent juggler, and I know a lot of tricks, but something just doesn't add up. I've only learned a handful of tricks by way of example, I always remain seated, in the same position, and I tend to "explore" tricks very tediously.

Ok, I'm not real sure what my point is. I guess if theres a mild form of autism, then there must also be a mild form of AS... Maybe this helps.

I do. I am neurotypical and yet share many traits that those the autism spectrum share. That is why I'm here, because I prefer to talk to those with AS than my fellow NT's.

I think of myself as about half and half (I'm here because my husband has AS). I'm very logical, hate head games, got bullied a lot at school, get totally engrossed in my interests, am a serious introvert, have a really high IQ, and have an insane knowledge of certain limited areas (grammar is probably the primary one). I have some sensory issues; the visual and auditory ones are mostly related to a sleep disorder, but I do have some tactile issues that aren't. I was never athletic growing up and people always used to accuse me of looking angry when I didn't.

On the other hand, I get along fairly well in a crowd, don't stim, and have either completely lucked out by finding just the right field or have a natural talent for dealing with people (or more likely, a bit of both). I did do competitive ballroom dancing for several years when I was in my late teens and early 20s, although certainly not at a "Dancing with the Stars" level! I think my facial expressions are pretty normal now, and I know my tone of voice is.

My stepmother-in-law is an autism specialist and she thinks the autism spectrum runs all the way from nothing to LFA and AS is actually pretty far down the spectrum, and then she considers NTs something else entirely. I suspect there are enough people with both NT and autism traits that it's more accurate to say that the autism scale goes from 0 to 100, with extreme NTs being 0 and very low-functioning autism being 100 (and AS being ... I don't know, around 50-60?).

Being on the autism spectrum isn't like being pregnant (you are or you aren't). It's more like being able to sing (some people are totally unable to, some are professionals, and most people are somewhere in betweeN).

My scores on those tests, btw, are consistently just a point or two below AS.